BY GODDY FRANCIS
I take a deep breath and look at my reflection in the mirror. I’ve lost everything. Friends , family and even school. I hate my life. How can I make such a terrible mistake? Ariel was the least person I ever thought I was gonna beg. I can’t believe i had to kneel down before her because mom cut me out of the family.
I wipe my eyes and look down at my stomach. There’s no baby bump yet and I’m grateful. Most times I sit down and ask myself what made me sleep with a professor. I don’t really know. Maybe I wanted to prove a point to the world. I forget the fact that you can’t really please this miserable world. I shut my eyes and remember what Lawson told me.
you’re pregnant? Now what do you want me to do? Divorce my wife and marry you?’ he yells at me.
I stood like a moron in front of him that day. I look stupid and foolish.
so what do you want me to do?’
do what every girls do to things that you’re carrying. What makes you think I would wanna have anything to do with you or even that thing.’
He called my baby a thing. A f**kin thing. And i can’t even blame him. I made a lot of bad decisions and this was one of them. I couldn’t bring myself down to apologise to Ariel for what I’ve done.
Lawson , i can’t abort it. The doctor said i was gonna get complications if I plan to take it out this time.’
I don’t f**kin care about you, Leslie. Stay the f**k away from my house and my family. Go get yourself useful and get rid of that thing you’re carrying. I warned you. I told you if you ever get pregnant I’ve nothing to do with.’
how Is it my f**kin fault? You f**ked me bare and you got me pregnant.’
goddamnit Leslie , you told me you were on the pills.’
True , but because of irresponsibility , I skipped it. How pathetic i am. I wipe my tears and walk out of the bathroom. I can’t believe I’m already dropping out of college. How am I ever gonna cope. I don’t even have a job. Who’s willing to hire a pregnant girl without a certificate. I knock on Ariel’s door and open it. She turns to look at me and smiles. She just returned from Miami and she looks so fancy. It hurts I envy her. She’s got everything. Family , a boyfriend like Gray Carter and Alexa. Alexa was closest to me but now she’s with Ariel.
We’re visiting my parents today and Ariel wants to talk to my dad. He listens and he’s soft hearted just like Ariel.
Sorry , Les , give me a minute.” She says as she brushes her hair.
Sure, take your time.”
I hate this world it’s so small sometimes. I never knew I was ever gonna need help from Ariel anytime soon. All thanks to karma , I’m now a walking piece of shit without a family or a job. God I hate my life. Ariel stands up as she picks up her car keys. She looks lively and pretty. Dumb me , she’s dating Gray Carter . Who won’t look lovely. A lot of women will kill just to be in her shoes.
” Come on.” She says and escort me out of her room.
We take the elevator together in silence and I didn’t stop praying for my parents to take me back. We slide into her Ferrari and I fasten my seatbelt. I admire the interior of her car and sigh. I’ve never been inside before. This is so beautiful and expensive. I envy her. I still wish I had her life.
Breathe Leslie , everything is gonna be fine. Even if they don’t take you back. You can still get a good job , give birth , hire a nanny and go back to college.” Ariel says and flash me a smile
She just said it like it’s the easiest thing in the world. I mean if she gets pregnant she will never be stranded even if our parents choose to cut her out. Gray would get her a job at one of the biggest company in New York even if she doesn’t have a degree. She’s gonna travel to Spain for vacation, and he’s gonna buy her a penthouse. That’s the gig for getting a wealthy man who loves you a lot. Most times I wish they break up. But hell no , karma has a way for making me eat my own shit.
I had to give the baby to Reid because i thought he could be normal like his friend Gray. Apparently , he’s a freak psycho.
Can I switch on your radio?” I ask Ariel calmly.
I nod and turn it on. The tension Is too much. I can’t take it. I feel uncomfortable. I don’t even fit into this type of leather seats. Hazel refused to take my calls. I don’t blame her. I’m a f**kin bad friend. A bad sister and maybe a bad daughter. I lean my head against the window and doze off. Before I open my eyes , I’m already at my parents house. Ariel parks the car and sighs. She turns to look at me and give me a reassuring smile.
We step out and I’m already about to panic. I shove my hands inside my jacket pockets and stride behind Ariel. We step on the front porch and Ariel rings the doorbell. I still can’t meet Ariel’s eyes. I feel like a burden and a disgrace. I hear footsteps at the other side of the door. The door opens and alas, dad stands in front of us. He smiles warmly at Ariel. He scan the porch and his eyes land on me behind Ariel. I was once the daughter they were glad to meet. But what happened? I f**ked up.
Can I come in?” She asks and walk inside without waiting for my dad’s reply. Dad looks at me sadly and walks in. I enter and shamelessly shut the door.
I take a deep breath and walk to the living room. I hear mom singing to her favourite countryside music.
Ariel. What you doing here ? You’re supposed to be at school and also class.” Mom speak up. She hasn’t seen my yet.
Mom we need to talk.” Mom looks around the living room and her whole demeanor changes.
You slut. What are you doing here ?” Mom yells at me. I start to sob.
Mom , stop. Calm down and sit down.” Ariel tells her.
Dad looks sad and his eyes is fill with pity. Mom’s the dad here. She makes decisions and my dad dares not to interfere. Mom clicks her tongue and sits down. I dare not sit down. I fiddle with my fingers and stand at a corner. Ariel sits close to dad as she sighs.
She’s sorry. She regrets everything and she’s deeply sorry. This is the time you guys should be for her. She needs a family because she regrets everything.” Ariel says. I keep my eyes on my dad.
She’s sorry?” Mom laughs.
Why’s she sorry ?” Mom asks. Her voice is lace with humor.
Ariel turns to look at me urging me to talk. ” For ruining the family’s name. It was a mistake. I swear I’m sorry. Mom please forgive me. I don’t know what do with myself. Daddy.” I sob.
Do you remember Laureen?” Mom asks with a smirk.
Your senior in highschool back then. The mayor’s daughter. The one you usually liked to party with. Do you remember her?”
Who doesn’t know Laureen?
She was my friend. Senior and cheer captain. Her father’s a mayor and everyone likes her. I made friends with her so I can also be recognized too. She’s also dating school’s most popular boy and she secretly had a crush on Freddie. Ariel’s bestie. I would sneak out every weekend to go party with her. We bullied Ariel together.
Yes ..” I reply nodding.
She graduated from Cambridge on top of her class and not on top of her professors, like you.” Mom scowls at me.
She was bright and also rich so she can easily work that out.
Leslie , what were you thinking?” That’s dad.
I’m sorry dad.”
You’re sorry. Don’t try to act wussy and sob like a virgin because you want me to take you back. No I’m not. You ruin the family’s name Leslie and you thought I’m gonna spare you. Because you’re what , my precious daughter. You need to learn your lessons. If you don’t taste the hard side of life you won’t learn how to take care of the thing you’re carrying. I just hope it’s not a girl , because you’re gonna rub your slutty existence on her.”
Mother please.” Ariel plea with me.
Ariel take her out . I don’t wanna get angry at you. Don’t beg for her. She’s not getting back to this house and also you’re moving out of the apartment at school because I ain’t paying a dime on that apartment, except your boyfriend is willing to pay”
Mom.. please. I’m sorry I don’t know how it happened.” I cry and drop on my knees.” Daddy please talk to Mom. I’m sorry and it’s a mistake. Please Daddy.”
Mom you can’t do this to her. You made her this way.” Ariel says.
Yes , mother. You knew she was whoring around but you choose to ignore her. Because what? you don’t want me to know about your little secrets on how you both cheated. You wanted me to live a perfect life when yours aren’t clean. You hid yours very well. You can’t just throw Leslie out because she got pregnant at sophomore year.” Ariel says.
Mom chuckles.” Don’t try to get pregnant too because you’re gonna end up like her. I will not tolerate and house daughters who decides to go against the family rules and bring back bastard children. Now take your sister and leave my house.” Mom yells.
Ariel flares as she stands up. I sob and wipe my eyes.
Come on Leslie , let’s go.” Ariel says and reach to take my hand.
Daddy please talk to Mom.”
Mom raise her forefinger to stop dad.” Don’t. You started all of this mess when you couldn’t keep your d**k in your pants. You had to sleep with Mia Carter. Because of what Exactly!” Mom yell at dad.
Oh really. And you had to give your cherry to your boss. Rebecca your f**kin boss. Because of what ? You wanted to avenge a stupid mistake.” Ariel scoffs at their argument.
They raise their voices and begin arguing. Ariel’s already outside and i race after her. I slide into her car and turn to look at her. She looks mad probably because of what my mom said; Don’t try to get pregnant too , cause you’re gonna end up like her.
I watch Alexa as she make a milkshake for herself. She giggles and look up at me. I’ve been miserable without him and I’m back to being depressed. This is the second week. No calls no texts. And I’m extremely worried. After my last visit to my parents , I talked to Leslie to let them be. They don’t deserve to have children at all.
You missed him right ?” Alexa asks.
Yeah.” I breathe out and rest both my elbows on the counter as i cup my cheeks.
He’s gonna be back and he’ll be fine.”
What if something already happened to him ? What if he’s hurt ?”
Of course not. It’s not even up to a month. He’s fine , just think positive and stop overthinking. You’ve started taking those antidepressant and i don’t like it.” Alexa says.
I huff. She push a cup of milkshake to me and I smile at her. Leslie walks in with Hazel. They are friends again and lately Leslie had been acting normal. She’s got a per time job in a hotel and the pay is manageable.
Hey guys.” Leslie waves at us.
Hi Les. Hey hazel.”
Hazel smiles and wave at Alexa.
How are you Leslie?” She sighs.” I’m fine.”
And the baby ?” I ask.
All good. It’s a girl.” Leslie answers and cross her arms.
Wow,a girl. That’s a great news. She’s quite stubborn to be a girl. But I’m still wondering , how come you were pregnant this last three months and you never knew.” Alexa says. I look at her and snarl.
I always had the monthly flow.”
Damn. You were pregnant and you still flow? That’s like a miracle.” Alexa grins.
We’re gonna leave you guys. Come on Hazel.” Leslie says as they leave.
I think we should always wish pregnancy on our enemies. It changes them.” Alexa whispers and winks. God she’s insane.
So Meghan is truly dead ?” Alexa asks as she slurps her milkshake.
Meghan was found dead in her room two weeks ago. We found out on the news. She died of heroin overdose. I never knew she did drugs. Jhene was sad including their mother. She recorded a sad video on Instagram the following day Meghan died. It was emotional even if Meghan was a druggie.
” She might be a shit face but I felt sorry for her.” I say.
Alexa smiles insanely.” You poor soul. You’re supposed to be an angel not human. You care too much about people and it’s f**ked up. She harrased you , Ariel.”
I roll my eyes. ” You want me to be savage like you ?”
Hell no. If you’re savage, then you’re gonna be worse than me. Keep doing good while I flaunt my black cold heart. Fuck i need a job.”
Then apply for an intern.” I suggest.
She widens her eyes and chuckles.
Hell no. I don’t see myself working as intern in the next thirty five years. I wanna work for a mob. Is Gray searching ? I’m a good fighter. Good shooter. Good temptress and seductress. I’m a badass and…”
Alexa. He’s got Sarai.”
Who the f**k is that ?”
Some blonde girl who works as a seductress for Gray.”
Why the mafia ?” I ask.
Because that’s where the fun lies. Shooting and smuggling.” She cackles. Oh god, she’s crazy.
I’m gonna talk to Gray, don’t worry about that.”
That’s the mob spirit. You need to learn all of this things cause you’re a mob queen already.”
Alexa , stop calling me that.”
She rolls her eyes and turn on the faucet to wash her cup.
I ignore every worker at Sterling’s as I hurry to Theodore’s office. I’ve been a mess since Gray showed up at Miami and that’s like a month ago. I haven’t heard or even seen him since then. I ran into Cage often times but I’ve not seen Gray since then. I don’t even know if we’re back together or not but i badly want to see him.
We haven’t contacted ourselves for a month, and like he claimed he wanted me to be happy. Like being without him was happiness. He’s my happiness and I noticed that the second he left the state. He didn’t tell me where he was going and as usual he said he was going to handle business. I had sleepless nights the first few weeks and I fell back into my depressed state. So much for wanting to stay away from the one man who walked into my life and changed everything. I don’t even care if he’s involved with the mob, I just want him back.
One month was worse than hell.
Each time i dial his number it’s always switched off or maybe it goes straight to voicemail.
I want him to hug me. Caress me. Touch me. Tell me he missed me and i want him to make love to me. I wipe the tear that slip out of my eyes as I knock on Theo’s door. His deep voice order me in and I enter.
Miss Peterson. You’re early , thanks to God. Carry the files , we’ve got a board meeting to attend to.” He smirks at me. Always a pervert.
He’s always checking me out but never had the balls to ask me out. Of course he won’t dare.
” Sure thing Sir.” I smile at him and carry the files.
We walk out of his office to the board room. Most of the board members are already seated. The manager smirks at me and finally glares at me. We’re never going to like each other. I see Belinda. She stands close to the accountant , Brooke. Theo sits on the head sit and I stand a bit far from him still holding the files. He outstretch his hands out for me and i give him the files.
Their meeting begins and they talk about their business progress and clients. I zoned out at the manager’s piercing glare.
There’s a big business deal that will help this company’s fortune. The thing we need is a bigger amount of money or maybe we actually need a company who would wanna support us.” Brooke says. He’s the accountant.
Why should we need money to strike some random deal ?” Theo asks.
Because this will definitely change Sterling corp. And your father suggests we talk to Gray Carter.” Kevin , one of the board members says.
Gray Carter ?” Theo scoffs and briefly looks at me.
Yes. I understand you’re not in good terms with him but i think we need a loan or maybe a fundraiser.”
No. We’re not getting a f**kin loan from Gray.”
Theo calm down. It’s just a loan. But if you don’t want a loan because of the company’s ego then maybe we should ask for a fundraiser.”
That’s like charity.” Theo yells.
I swallow and sigh.
It’s not. Children Cancer research also needs a fundraiser and if you wanna know we’re the host behind it. We can’t fail them and we need this business deal , Theo.”
So what are you suggesting ?” Theo asks.” As long as I’m concerned , I’m not calling Gray Carter for some damn cancer research fundraiser. I’m Theo Sterling for f**k’s sake. We’re not even in good terms and i don’t even know how to support this type of decisions.”
We know. Summit and Sterling aren’t in good terms, yes but he’s gonna give us this fundraiser and we won’t even end up paying.” Brooke says.
“So you’re expecting Gray to throw away 50 million dollars at Sterling.”
Maybe he will. This is were your intern comes in.” The manager says as she smirks at me. They all turn to look at me.
Okay this isn’t good.
First I haven’t seen Gray for over a month and I haven’t even heard from him.
Now they wanna use me to get some fundraiser for what ?
Is he even back?
Yeah,that’s a good idea.” Everyone smiles and nods at me.
Miss Ariel Peterson , this is were you come in. He’s your boyfriend and we want a fundraiser. You’ll have to help us.” Kevin adds.
Why me ?”
Because he’s your boyfriend and like I heard he values you a lot.” The manager snarls at me.
So it’s settled. Miss Peterson is helping us out and Brooke is gonna accompany you.”
I’m not sure he’s around.” I say.
Of course he’s around. I bet I saw Gray yesterday.”
They saw Gray.
And he didn’t even check on me.
One whole month and I’m about to see the man who left me for a whole month without a single “Hello” I feel like passing out.
UNTIL I MET YOU