DEDICATED TO MY GHOST READERS
POINT OF VIEW
I shock hearing him defend despite all that happened just some minutes ago I became guilty at the moment in time.
I walked into my room immediately I heard human step and that didn’t able me know his decision on whether he is gonna leave the castle or not but at this moment I pray he never leaves.
You see, you are wrong about the whole my daughter
He is kind hearted and he likes you a lot.. Do you know what you made him pass through all the while is has been your teacher but still he never for once shout at you
Your words are really harsh and can kill. You needs to say sorry to him.
Am deeply hurt by your words to him not to talk of him that you have poured it on.
She said and at this moment I felted terrible.
I felt cold and scared of what I don’t know… What I really that harsh to him, hope he won’t think of hurting himself.
I feels terribly bad now.
What have I done
I asked my self.
Maybe I should just kill myself for you so that you will be happy right??
Oh if you can I will be so happy to feel your brains to the dog. I don’t even know if they can agree to eat a smell thing like you.
You are such a gold digger.
My very world to him echoed in my ear and I became more scared like ever
Is he gonna do something stupid to himself???
Oh my God don’t let him harm himself, I don’t think I stand it if he does
I said to myself as I became more scared of what u don’t even know.
What am I gonna do now grandma
Nothing but to apologize to him
Your words are really harsh and hurting.
She said pant my back and walk out of my room.
But can he ever forgive me after the harsh words I said to him?????
I asked myself.
Don’t harm yourself because of me
Am sorry using those harsh words on you remember our bet.
Don’t hurt yourself please
I said within me.
I was restless in my room and I was walking around like a man his wife is in labor.
I was thinking how to approach him and tell him how sorry I am for saying those harsh words to.
I walked out of my room thinking am gonna see him but know I didn’t, I went back to my room and I stayed there till tomorrow morning.
It woke up to see a very beautiful day and I thanks God for life, I couldn’t visit my mum’s grave because I needed the forgiveness of Dad first.
It kind off wanted to way me down but my grandma noticed on time and she used her funny way to take my mind off it.
Don’t think much my beautiful princess your Elvin is gonna forgive you Okay….” She said and I kind of wanted to laugh.
Elvin isn’t mine.
I had breakfast in my room,
And I was warming up on how to meet Dad and say a good morning to him and just then I had a ring which signifies that someone is at the door.
I used my phone to unlock it and the image of my Dad appeared to be the person.
I became ashamed of myself at the moment, I couldn’t look into his eyes.
I was facing down without even saying anything to him.
I actually lost my voice seeing my Dad.
” Common my princess
Give daddy a good morning hug….”
He said speared his hand and I went slowly and hug him.
Tears flow down my cheeks,
It quite painful him consoling me after everything.
There is nothing as painful as the pain gotten from the guilty mind.
” I weep on his shoulder
Is Okay my priceless Jewelry
I know you can get back what you have lost… It just a matter of time and effort….”
He said and I weep the more.
He said again and pant my back a little.
Don’t worry all this is gonna be a story to tell Okay, So stop crying He said.
Dad!!! Do you think I can make it again
Do you think I can be able to win Maya and get back my position as the best female science student??? I asked and he nodded.
Off course you can and you will Look, Elvin can help you out.
He is coming for the male best science student and the institution is gonna have double upgrade…..” He said and I was kind of surprised and happy at the same time.
Am surprised that I never knew he was coming out to compete and happy that the institution is gonna experience a new change but can I win in my own side????……”
I asked myself.
Now clean up your face and coke and sign this document ……”
He said and I handle over the documents to me and I stare at it in surprise… The documents I have pleading with Dad to sign for me.
” Sign up
Your institution is in your hand
Your decision stands…….”
He said and I smiled for the first time.
” Ever since I lost mum
Dad had never referred the institution as mine but he did today.
Thanks Elvin, I promise you whatever you wants ……”
I said in mind and smiled as I sign up the documents.
I sign up the place meant for me and my Dad signed as well and I put my own thumb
” But Dad do you think………. ”
” Is Okay my princess
You can I know and I believe you will.
You are my smart and intelligent daughter my beautiful wife Catherine gave me……”
He said stopping me from completing what I wanted to say and I just nod.
Even when I lost believe someone that cares created a new one in me…” He added smiling
And who is this person??? …”
I asked even though I know.
It gonna be a surprise
He said and I just smiled.
How I wish I was able to know what his last wish was, I only heard two but I didn’t knew what his last
favor form Dad Is ……
He handed over the documents of the full ownership of the institution to me and he hugged me and I smiled at his shoulder.
I guess you are happy now…” My grandma walked in.
I have the full access to my institution now….”
Thanks to Elvin…” She said.
Remember you still need to say thank you and ask him for his forgiveness……”
Sure grandma but the problem is that It seen he is avoiding me …”
I said kind of feeling bad
Don’t worry he is gonna come around…” She said and I hug her
You are one in a million
I love you grandma……”
I said on her shoulder.
I love you too my daughter but I thought am an old woman who disturbs her grandma daughter……” She said and I chuckled while she laughed out loud.
You are not…”
” I thought as much…”
She said and started walking towards the door.
I don’t want to look for that smile ever again…..” She said.
I stayed in my room for sometimes before I walked outside with Tessia and Stella just wants to take a walk around the castle.
I got to my mum’s grave and I stopped by and walked in.
I knelt on the grave side.
Mum am making a new promise
Am gonna get back that which was taken form me. I don’t know how but I must I said and I dropped a flower I got when walking around the castle.
I over heard Tessia saying something to someone and I wonder who could she be talking with at the entrance of my garden
I walked out I over heard Elvin’s voice.
I guess Stephannie is in can I go and see her
I heard him say why do he want to see me …..”
I asked myself and I walked more closer.
POINT OF VIEW
Yesterday was something else but I thanks God that made it to a new day. Just hoping that today is gonna be a wonderful day for me.
I walk around the castle and I have kind off noticed the Stephannie has been outside so the time I got to her garden I decide to say hey.
Tessia was standing in the entrance of the garden.
I guess Stephannie is around. Can I have a chat with her……” I asked and she nod no
Yeah she is around but she is not in a good mood, you will have to go and come back later….” She said.
Am not here to know if she is in a good mood or now, am here to have a chat with her, I have never meet her in a good mood at all do don’t care to know her mood……”
I said and I look up to see Stephannie walking out of the garden smiling.
I guess she heard what I said.
So have you never saw me in a good mood….” She asked.
Wow !!! wow !! wow !!! , I finally made it alive to see a beautiful princess like you smiling. For the very
first time I saw your smiling beauty…..”
I said and she smiled the more.
What’s are you really trying so say, that I dont smiled or something ?????…” She asked.
Not really, just that I have never for once caught you with a smiled……”
I said and she smiled the more.
I don’t know what happened and Tessia and Stella left the spot leaving alone me and her.
She took out a deep breath and I observed her, she seem she wants to say something for finds it difficult to voice it out.
Am really happy you are happy, I have to go now……”
I said and turned to leave but she hold me in my arms and I turned and faced her again.
Is there any problem????……”
I asked even though I don’t know what she wants to say that is too heavy to be voiced out but I wanted to hear them anyway.
I want to tell you something…….” She finally said and I just smiled.
Okay am here and am all ears….”
Ugh!!!!! Am…. Am Sorry
Am sorry for everything ……”
She finally said and I was shocked beyond words.
This was the list I expected to hear from Stephannie.
” Am really sorry
I know I said a very bad and killing words to you but I said them out of frustration and anger Please forgive me…..”
She said and I just stood at the spot like a dreaming goat that thought he has escaped from its killer.
Am really sorry.
I know it gonna be a hard thing for you to forgive but please am sorry
She kept on saying, I felt weak at the spot, the truth was that the first time she made that statement sorry all my anger was doubled in multiple but hearing her say sorry repeatedly killed them down.
I just stood at that spot looking her without knowing what to say.
I just turned and walk out of the garden without looking back.
Why is she asking for forgiveness……” I asked myself
Because she is deeply sorry for hurting you. Elvin no need hiding it you love her and even at what she did you still weren’t angry at her so just kill it and forgive her……”
My conscious said.
You think is gonna be easy
After saying those words to me she comes back to apologize because I made her Dad hand over the institution to her…. What if it didn’t work out like I plan, will she have said sorry…….”
” Even if she didn’t say sorry
She felt guilty of what she said to you.
you did something for her that brought about her happiness remember that the institution was the
reason she was harsh to you…..”
My conscious said again.
” I don’t care
I have done what I wanted to do for her to prove that am not interested in her so called institution so
she should stay far away ……”
I said to myself..
Can you leave a day without seeing her
Elvin we are human, and sometimes we thinks that our action is the very best. Imagine how hard it was for her to summon courage and voice out the word sorry. It shows she is deeply sorry
My conscious said.
Am not too sure about that
I stayed in my room till evening time without going out or doing anything that is gonna involve me going out form my room.
Even when Kester and Victor got back from the visiting to the academy. They wanted me out but I objected and they don’t even know my reasons for the action.
It was in the evening time that Sandra told me that grandma has a wonderful story to tell and she asked that everyone to come along.
I went with Kester and Victor and Stephannie wasn’t there when we arrived so we engaged on a conversation with grandma before she walked in.
She stared at me but I took my face down, not shy but I don’t need eye contact for now, allot of things was going through my mind.
Grandma told us a wonderful story but it happens to be a kind of love story of a hunter whom killed because of the death of his wife whom he never showed care when she was alive..
It was quite an interesting story.
It helped me ease up allot of thinking form my mind.
Kester was the first to leave after Sandra and Angela had left. His Dad sent for him to come over to his room Then Victor followed leaving only me, grandma and Stephannie.
And the old woman stood up and I did as well but I felt a hand holding me back just to turn and and see it was that of Stephannie and she left my hand almost immediately and u still walked away.
I wasn’t angry just wanna teach her that to get someone to forgive isn’t as easy as getting them angry.
I got my room and instated in there till tomorrow morning..
Just like every other monday’s.
I woke up very early and I walked out to see Stephannie walking towards her mums grave yard.
I stare at her till she was out of my sight and then allot of thought enclosed my mind.
I stood there till she was done and I still watch her till she walked Into the elevator.
I got to Mr room took out a deep breath and I fall on my bed… what’s all this feeling for??????
I wave out the thought and I prepared for, I didn’t eat with them in the dinning, I eat in my room and I was already in the car even before Kester and Victor came out.
They were kind of surprised. What happened Elvin????…..” Victor asked getting into the car.
Kester joined me at the back while Victor went to drive and Eric joined the other cars behind.
What happened as how????……”
You didn’t join to eat at the dinning and you are the first to get into the car. why weren’t you at the dinning??? …”
That’s because Sandra brought my food at my room…..”
” I don’t believe that Elvin..
Am sure you are the one that asked Sandra to do that, I know you are trying to shy way form your girlfriend…..”
Victor said and Kester looked at me.
What’s all this girlfriend stuff ????
I never told you guys am dating….”
We don’t need you to tell us before we no that you are nursing feelings for someone….” Victor said.
That’s you guys headache not mine
You guys should keep on predicting, it still morning and I don’t have strength to argue …. ”
” There is nothing to argue about..
we are saying what is real here weather you admit it or not…..”
Victor said and I took out the headphone is my bag and put a music and Kester snatch it way from me.
You must listen to what we are saying….” Kester said.
No playing music till we get to school…..” Victor added.
You guys are just disturbance and distractions nothing else….” I said and they both of them laughed..
You better watch what you are driving …”
I said to Victor as he was laughing.
We got to school quite much earlier.
Their was no much activity in the institution toad and I noticed Stephannie spent much of her time in the class. Well I stayed with Flora at the garden and there we studied allot of things Or should I say I taught her allot of things.
After school Kester came quite late but Stephannie was in school and I didn’t even know what she is going at the institution even when the school time was over.
We left before her actually but I was surprised she came back before us
After my lunch which it was only the boys that ate at the dinning table I walked into my room to prepare for a class with Stephannie.
Immediately it was 15.00
I walked out from my room with my laptop and a pen
I walked into the study room and everywhere seem to have changed. Tessia and Stella wasn’t around
and the seat was properly set.
she is even here before me.
What a wonderful class we are gonna have today……”I said in my mind and places the laptop on the
” Good afternoon Elvin…”
She greeted and j was kind-of surprise.
What’s really changed????
” Good afternoon
How are you doing today ???……”
I asked,for the fact I want to teach her some lessons of life doesn’t mean that I should be too mean to her…. am aren’t heartless to ignore her greetings.
” Am fine …..”
She said with a smile
She looks cute with those smiles
I thought and smiled a little but I know she didn’t see me, well if you must know, am covering my face with my sweater cap.
Am gonna give you the proper details of The Human Mind……” I said and she just nod.
She was having she notepad in her hands and I continued.
Let know about the mind and it’s activities
of thought, thinking, memory, imagination and consciousness …..
FIRSTLY:: The mind is an organ or seat of consciousness; the faculty by which one is aware of surroundings and by which one is able to experience emotions, remember, reason, and make decisions. it is also the organized totality of an organism’s mental and psychological processes, conscious and unconscious.
The mind is the set of thinking faculties including cognitive aspects such as consciousness, imagination, perception, thinking, judgement, language and memory, as well as noncognitive aspects such as emotion……. ”
I said look at her and she was paying rapid attention then I continue
” Well the scientific also prove that
the mind is housed at least in part in the brain.
Now this is what am talking about…..”
I said shifting my laptop to her to see while pointing them with a pen in my hand.
Speaking of the mental faculties they are the various functions of the mind, or things the mind can “DO”.
THOUGHT:: is a mental act that allows humans to make sense of things in the world, and to represent and interpret them in ways that are significant, or which accord with their needs, attachments, goals, commitments, plans, ends, desires, etc. Thinking involves the symbolic or semioticmediation of ideas or data, as when we form concepts, engage in problem solving, reasoning, and making decisions. Words that refer to similar concepts and processes include deliberation, cognition, ideation, discourse and imagination.
NOW when you talk of the THINKING::
Thinking is sometimes described as a “higher” cognitive function and the analysis of thinking processes is a part of cognitive psychology. It is also deeply connected with our capacity to make and use tools; to understand cause and effect; to recognize patterns of significance; to comprehend and disclose unique contexts of experience or activity; and to respond to the world in a meaningful way…….”
” What’s really the difference between the thought and thinking???? ……”
Well the difference between the thought and thinking is that thought is form created in the mind, rather than the forms perceived through the five senses; an instance of thinking while think is an act of thinking; that is consideration of something.
If the thought is formed in the mind then what is feeling……”
She asked again
Feeling is the perception of events within the body, closely related to emotion. … As the known special organs of sense were the ones mediating the perception of the external world, the verb to feel came also to mean the perception of events within the body.
Ugh…. Are thoughts and feelings the same thing???Which comes first between the thought and feeling???……”
In the primary case, in the standard situation, Thoughts are ways of dealing with feelings – ways of, as it were, thinking our way out of feelings – ways of finding solutions that meets the needs that lie behind the feelings. The feelings come first in both a hierarchical and a chronological sense.
The intuitive way of imaging how our bodies work: thoughts, feelings, physical reactions, is incorrect.
… The feelings come first, and the thoughts come later. This means that we cannot change our thinking and make the feelings go away……”
I explain in more details waiting for any more questions but she seem to be through so I continued.
THE MEMORY:: is the ability to preserve, retain, and subsequently recall, knowledge, information or experience. Although memory has traditionally been a persistent theme in philosophy, the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries also saw the study of memory emerge as a subject of inquiry within the paradigms of cognitive psychology.
In recent decades, it has become one of the pillars of a new branch of science called cognitive neuroscience, a marriage between cognitive psychology and neuroscience……” I said click on the brain imagine.
IMAGINATION:: is the activity of generating or evoking novel situations, images, ideas or other qualia in the mind. It is a characteristically subjective activity, rather than a direct or passive experience.
The term is technically used in psychology for the process of reviving in the mind percepts of objects formerly given in sense perception. Since this use of the term conflicts with that of ordinary language, some psychologists have preferred to describe this process as “imaging” or “imagery” or to speak of it as “reproductive” as opposed to “productive” or “constructive” imagination.
You know the things imagined are said to be seen in the “mind’s eye”. Among the many practical functions of imagination are the ability to project possible futures (or histories), to “see” things from
another’s perspective, and to change the way something is perceived, including to make decisions to respond to, or enact, what is imagined…….”
I said took out a deep breath, observe her attention and she was fully focused and I continued.
CONSCIOUSNESS:: In humans is an aspect of the mind generally thought to comprise qualities such as subjectivity, sentience, and the ability to perceive the relationship between oneself and one’s environment. It is a subject of much research in philosophy of mind, psychology, neuroscience, and cognitive science.
Some philosophers divide consciousness into phenomenalconsciousness, which is subjective experience itself, and access consciousness, which refers to the global availability of information to processing systems in the brain.
Phenomenal consciousness has many different experienced qualities, often referred to as qualia. Phenomenal consciousness is usually consciousness of something or about something, a property known as intentionality in philosophy of mind…..”
I said and I checked my waist watch and the time was 17.15 pm .
Think that will be all for today
I said again to and stood up to leave but her words made me stop on my track.
To be continued.
(TOO HARD TO ADMIT)