CHAPTER FORTY FIVE
“When all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”
Monday morning, i wake up feeling sick and restless plus there is a sour taste in my mouth, groaning, i shoot out of bed and run for the bathroom clutching my stomach. I lean down next to the toilet before i throw up. I gag as i finish up. Then i sit back on my heels breathing hard.
Lord i hate this part of the pregnancy.
For the past few weeks i have been struck by nausea, it seems to hit mostly in the morning and early afternoon. I thought morning sickness meant that i will be sick in the mornings only but i am sick all day long every day. I went to the hospital yesterday and the doctor told me the morning sickness will go away soon but he also said i could be one of those women that are sick for their entire pregnancy. I hope it goes away soon.
Closing my eyes, i rub soothing circles over the slight curve of my tummy hoping it will calm the nausea. Feeling better, i rise to my feet and walk to the sink, i take a sip of water and swish it around my mouth for a minute then i spit it out of the sink.
Looking up at the mirror, i stare into my eyes and for a minute i can’t recognize the woman in the reflection of the mirror.
“How did i get here?” i wonder
This pregnancy came at a wrong time, i can’t do this alone, when i was pregnant with Sofia, Kai was there each step of the way and he would always find a way to make things better. There is a part of me that can’t stand to see him while another part of me longs for him to wrap me in his arms and tell me everything is going to be okay. But will things ever be okay? Will they ever go back to how they used to be?
Why did Kai have to cheat on me? I thought we were perfect together, i thought he loved me more than anything. My chest compresses with pain as Tasha’s words ring in my mind.
“Your husband here led me on for months, he made me believe that he didn’t care about you, he told me you guys were on the verge of getting a divorce. He even asked me to marry him.”
As if sleeping with her wasn’t enough, he got her pregnant and asked her to marry him.
“Where do i go from here?”
Divorce? I have never felt it could ever happen to me and now that it is looking me in my eyes, i wonder if i will be able to handle it.
So many marriages fall apart every day &many women live through it so will i. i try to comfort myself, but how? How do i tell my daughter that her father and i cannot be together anymore? How do i break the news to my family and friends? How do i tell my unborn child that he can at the worst time?
“Lord why? I ask tears running down my face. Why did you let this happen to me? Why me? i scream as more tears pour from my eyes.
“Kenzie?” My sister rushes into the bathroom.
“This hurts, i still can’t believe he cheated, i don’t know if i can ever get over this,” i cry, my voice choking with emotion.
“I wish there was something i can do to make you feel better,” she says, she has this pained look on her face i know she is worried about me. She is the only one i have told about this issue.
“Come,” she holds out her hand out reaching out to me.
When i finally manage to get up, she wraps her hands around me and i cry even harder, she slowly rubs my back as i cry, eventually i calm down and she leads me to the kitchen where she prepares me a cup of iced tea.
“How do you feel now?” she asks
“I will get Sofia ready for school call me if you need anything.”
I sit in silence drinking my tea, i know i have to find a way to get over what happened, for the sake of my children, i know i need to pull myself together for their sake, i just don’t know where to start from.
A moment later my phone rings, startling sound in the quiet living room. I look at the caller ID only to find it’s a strange number.
“Babe,” Kai’s familiar voice makes my throat tighten. I hold my breath waiting to see what he wants.
“I am outside the gate, i am here to take Sofia to school,” he says
“Trish is getting her ready.”
“Can i come in and wait for her?”
“No!” i respond almost immediately, i don’t want to see him.
“I will wait out here then.”
I cut the call before he says anything else, things might be rocky between Kai and i but that doesn’t mean he can’t see his daughter and spend time with her.
I compose myself before i stand up and head upstairs to the bedroom. Sofia is all dressed up, Trish is working on her hair.
“You need to hurry up, daddy is waiting outside,” i announce
“Daddy?” she jumps up and down.
Trish shoots me a look and i ignore it, if it were up to her, Kai wouldn’t be allowed to get anywhere close to the house. I walk back downstairs and head straight to the kitchen to prepare Sofia her breakfast.
Sofia rushes into the kitchen a moment later i place her food on the table and watch her eat. She has been my source of strength for the past few days, she is the reason i wake up every day determined to become a better version of myself.
While Sofia is having her breakfast, i quietly walk out of the house, Kai’s car is parked in front of the gate and he is leaning on it. The nerve of this man to show up here after what he did to my sister.
If it were up to me, this man wouldn’t leave to tell the tale, my sister is too calm and kind for my liking, this is why he stepped all over her and now he wants to act like all is well.
“What?” i snap
“And what’s so good about this morning?” i rudely respond.
“My sister hasn’t stopped crying since you left and she is pregnant, if anything happens to her or the baby, i swear you will not know what hit you.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“But you did and that’s what matters. You have to find a way to fix this mess, you have to find a way to bring a smile back on her face, my sister is a good person she did nothing but love you and see how you repaid her.”
“I am sorry.”
“It hasn’t gotten to that.”
“Fix this mess Kai, fix it.”
“I hear you.”
“Mxxxm,” i click my tongue before i head back inside. I didn’t expect Kai to cheat on my sister; they are so perfect together he has to find a way to fix his mess.
In the mean time, i have to pay that whore Tasha a visit. I got her number from facebook i am yet to call her. I need to warn her, she should stay away from Kai or else all hell will break loose.
“Mummy, let’s go together,” Sofia pulls my hand. She wants me to escort her out but i don’t want to see Kai.
“Go with Auntie Trish.”
“No!” she screams.Recommend you to download TopsterStories App for Exclusive Access To Erotic and Romantic stories
I grab her bag and we head out. Kai is standing next to his car, i pause when i see him.
He clears his throat, “How are you?”
I don’t look up, “Just fine.”
“Daddy,” Sofia runs up to him and he carries her in his hands then he kisses her forehead before putting her down again.
“I will see you later hun, have a great day at school.”
“Thank you mummy.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I turn to leave but he grabs my hand and turns me around, “I miss you a lot,” he says, he sounds miserable.
“You don’t miss me?”
I laugh, “How is Tasha?”
“Why do you have to bring her up?”
“She is a part of us now, not so?”
“Just drive Sofia to school already.”
“We need to talk.”
“I will drop by later so we can talk.”
“Whatever,” i respond before i walk back into the house.
DIARY OF A TORMENTED HUSBAND