Sun. Jun 23rd, 2024

 

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE

 

 

 

“Let go of the illusion that it could have been any different.”

 

——–

 

I am sitting on the stool in Prisca’s kitchen as she prepares lunch.

 

“How are things with you and Kai?” she asks

 

I smile as I stare at the ring on my finger, “Excellent,” I respond “You are glowing,” she says

 

“I guess it’s the pregnancy and the ring on my finger,” I say taking a sip from my lemon water. “So you and Fred are completely done?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Shame.”

 

“Why?”

 

“He was a good catch.”

 

“I thought you never liked him so why the change in heart?”

 

“I just feel like you are moving too fast, hasn’t been like a week since you left your husband’s house and now you have a ring on your finger? Won’t that affect your divorce case?”

 

“I don’t want anything from Fred I just want us to share custody of the girls.”

 

“I see.”

 

“His wife?”

 

“He has told her I am carrying his child and she is angry but I am sure she will get over it.”

 

“I see.”

 

“I can’t wait to have a baby boy, a little boy like Kai running up and down the house.”

 

“I wish you well.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You don’t feel guilty for hurting Fred though?” she asks

 

“I do feel bad for Fred but this is about my happiness, I did the right thing, I followed my heart.”

 

“Okay.”

 

She finishes cooking lunch and sets the table, “Lunch is saved,” she says

 

“Thank you.”

 

I dish for myself and instantly start eating the food, Prisca is a very good cook, I enjoy her food.

 

So I moved into the apartment with Kai after I left Fred. This had to be done we had already fallen apart before Kai walked into my life. At first I wasn’t sure where our affair would lead us to but now I am glad we are heading into marriage as soon as we sort out the issues with our partners.

 

A part of me didn’t want to leave Fred but the other part wanted to test the waters and be with Kai. Fred is a great man, he will find someone soon I just hope the girls understand my decision.

 

After lunch, Prisca and I spend a few more minutes together before I finally leave her house.

 

***

 

I still can’t believe that Tasha feel pregnant for another man and even left her husband’s house, I am disgusted by her actions Fred is a good man who doesn’t deserve everything he is going through.

 

As soon as Tasha leaves, I get ready to pay Fred a visit, I have to sympathize with him, I think I owe him that much since Tasha is my friend and I might have pushed her to cheat on him with Kai.

 

When I get to his house, I step out of my car and head towards the door, I know thrice and wait.

 

I wait for what seems like forever before he finally opens the door.

 

“What do you want?” he barks

 

He looks messy and scruffy and his breath smells of beer, I know he has been drinking, he sure loved his wife, his heart is broken, I can see it through his eyes- poor man.

 

“Your wife told me what happened?” I say

 

“And then?” he asks, his voice is cold and harsh.

 

“I am sorry for what you are going through.”

 

“Fuck off,” he yells

 

“What?”

 

“You and Tasha are birds of the same feathers, we both know that you helped Tasha to cheat on me. You have never liked me.”

 

I laugh, “I would never do that.”

 

“Did you know about Kai?” he asks

 

“Well….,”

 

“Did you?” he snaps

 

“I did.”

 

“And you encouraged her?” he prompts

 

“I knew about Kai but I didn’t encourage her to cheat, Tasha is old enough to make such decisions on her own.”

 

“You are right.”

 

“What next?” I ask

 

He sighs, “I love Tasha and I don’t want to let her go, she is the mother of my children, it was supposed to be till death do us part.”

 

“Then talk to her.”

 

“She doesn’t want me anymore and I can’t force her to be with me.”

 

“Give her time,” I respond

 

“Can I come in?” I ask

 

He hesitates.

 

“Its fine, I just came to see if you are okay. I know we aren’t the best of friends but if you need someone to talk to, I am here.”

 

“Come in,” he says

 

He walks into the house and I follow him closely.

 

The house looks filthy there are bottles of beer on the floor and some boxes of food all over the place.

 

“Have you tried to call her?”

 

“She no longer picks my calls.”

 

“Where are the girls?”

 

“With my sister, I can’t see them in this state I am.”

 

“I am really sorry,” I say as i pick up the bottles and try to clean the mess.

 

“It’s not your fault.”

 

“I will talk to her,” I say

 

“Please do, she needs to reconsider her decision for the sake of the girls.”

 

“I will.”

 

I spend the next two hours cleaning the house and preparing him something to eat. As all this is going on, we talk about random stuff, I crack a few jokes and it’s actually amazing to see him smile.

 

“Thank you so much for your help,” he says as he walks me towards my car.

 

“You are welcome, I will talk to Tasha, don’t worry.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You are welcome.”

 

I get into my car and wave at him before I drive off.

 

*****

 

After Prisca leaves, I walk back into the house and throw myself on the couch, grabbing my phone I check my whatsapp messages, Tasha has a new profile photo, there is a bright smile on her face, she has her hand on her cheek there is a ring on her finger. My heart slams hard against my chest as I stare at the ring, isn’t she moving a little too fast? Did this woman even love me? Did I even mean anything to her?

 

It hurts to actually realise that she won’t change her mind about us, I should stop hoping because it is so clear she has fallen out of love with me, I am no longer the man she wants to be with.

 

I take a glass of whiskey from the table and let it touch my lips. As the liquor burns me, it makes me alive. It dulls the pain in my heart so I continue to drink one glass after the other.

 

*****

 

“Your husband is broken Tasha,” I say, I just got home and I decided to call her since I promised Fred I would talk to her for him but from the look of things, Tasha’s mind is set. She wants a divorce.

 

“Ex- husband,” she snaps

 

“Your divorce hasn’t even been finalized do you even know what you are doing?”

 

“Where has this sudden interest in Fred come from?”

 

“I am trying to help you make the right decision you cannot throw away 11 years of marriage for someone you hardly know.”

 

“You are not my mother Prisca we are not even related so quit acting like we are.”

 

“Tasha?”

 

“I don’t want to be with Fred anymore, I want to be with Kai is that so hard for you to understand?”

 

I give a nonchalant shrug, “It’s your life anyway.”

 

“I have to go, I will talk to you later,” she hangs up before I can even say anything more, so much for trying to help someone.

 

*****

 

DIARY OF A TORMENTED HUSBAND

 

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