Sun. May 12th, 2024

FUNMI: onihaxy, come back here!!!!!!.

I got scared and I was frightened as I turned back and walked towards her desk. I was like “did she detected any foul play on the report?”

“Could it be that she caught me?”

“What could be going on in her mind?”

“Hope I never enter wahala?”

“Abi I don cook beans for bank?”


FUNMI: well onihaxy, I saw someone who looked like you at oshodi park on friday morning when I drove my cousin to the park.


ME: **chai!!!!, kasala don burst*** maybe it was me because I was also at the park that morning.


FUNMI: thank your stars, I thought you would lie, where did you travel too?


ME: I didn’t travel, I was there to send a parcel to my family through the bus driver before going to the hospital for treatment.


FuNMI: ok, no problem, have this file and help me to deliver it to Mr Fashakin at the E-banking unit *** stretched forth her hand and gave me the file*****


ME: ok ma.


FUNMI: onihaxy!!!, the next time I hear you answering ma again, I won’t take it lightly with you.


ME: sorry funmi.


FUNMI: ****smiled**** or you want to tell me that your girlfriends are younger than me?


ME: ****smiled*****

FUNMI: anyways, my birthday is on thursday.


ME: waoh!!!!!!, happy birthday in advance


FUNMI: thanks my dear. So where are you taking me to?


ME: *** chuckled**** till then sha.


FUNMI: ok oooooo. go back to your work and do have a nice day.


ME: alright funmi.


I opened her door and walked out of her office with smile on my face. The ladies sitting and the same floor with me were amazed and surprised with my mood, I guess they were surprised to see me smiling. One of the ladies followed me as I walked out of the office while heading to the E-banking unit and she caught up with me and we walked together and got talking.

LADY: “Onihaxy, wetin query mama said to you?”


ME: nothing, she just asked me why I was absent on friday.


LADY: yeah, that is true, why are you absent?


ME: I wasn’t feeling fine, so I went to the hospital


LADY: ok onihaxy. But wait, are you sure you aren’t related to query mama?


ME: I’m not, why did you ask?


LADY: because it looked so strange the way she treated you and relate with you among other staffs. I will just urge you to keep praying to always see her good side.


ME: ***smiled**** thank you.


We got separated at the exit of the walkway, I went to the E-banking unit to deliver funmi’s message while she branched elsewhere. From there, I went to meet my teamlead and join other team members for a connect session. Throughout the session, the teamlead emphasised more about funmi and how she dashed out queries like christmas gifts and he urged everyone to be dedicated to their work and also meet up with targets. After the session, everyone began to murmur on how she almost sacked someone on friday because of a costly mistake from the person and some of her harsh leadership attitude were also been talked about , I began to wonder and I asked myself, “why am I the only one not seeing the bad side of this lady?”.

I resumed back to work after the connect and worked till break time before hanging out with my friend on whatsapp.


ME: sege how far?


SEGE: I dey jaree. How is work and your wives?


ME: fine jaree. Segun, something happened today.


SEGE: another bimpe issue abi?


ME: you no well, why must it always be about bimpe?


SEGE: because bimpe na resident evil na. So gist me, what happened to her this time?


ME: its not bimpe, its my boss.


SEGE: your boss?, she don sack you?


ME: you no well,


SEGE: oya wetin happen?


ME: she just seemed to like me among other staffs and I don’t get the meaning for it.


SEGE: maybe she admires you, short fine boy na, e no easy.


ME: you no well, but seriously, everyone is always facing and complaining about her bad sides, I’m the only not seeing her bad side among the new staffs. Even my senior staffs in the same office with me are getting envious.


SEGE: hmmmmm, how old is she?


ME: she will be 48 on this week,


SEGE: how did you know her age?


ME: from popular gossips.


SEGE: what is her present marital status?


ME: single mother of two. A 19years old girl and a 15 years old boy. I heard she lost her husband like 3years ago and she refused to re-marry since then. The daughter is in the university and the

Is in college.


SEGE: omo!!!!!!!!, 26 to 48!!!, the margin wide die. But that doesn’t matter sha, she can be your sugar mummy.


ME: sugar what, you no well.


SEGE: hmmmmmm. Sit down there, “o je jara e”. So what is now the problem?


ME: she almost suspected me of travelling on friday because she said she saw me at the park. I had to lie to her that I went there to send a package to my family.


SEGE: correct guy.


ME: her birthday is this week, I don’t know what to present to her.


SEGE: just find out her best interest.


ME: interest as in?


SEGE: what she like most. Maybe gadgets, fashion, her best colour and so on.


ME: hmmmm. I only observed she likes smart skimpy dresses with a touch of red.


SEGE: what about jewellery?


ME: she doesn’t use heavy jewellery


SEGE: that’s fine. Get her a nice sets of red underwears, a nice gown with touch of red, a little perfume and probably a wristwatch. Pack everything together and present it to her.


ME: haaaaaaaa!, those things are too expensive now


SEGE: they are not expensive, everything shouldn’t cost you beyond 5k, at most 10k. Trust me you will get something more than that in return.


ME: something more than that as how?


SEGE: decode that yourself. What I told you to do is simply called future investment.


ME: ok boss.


SEGE: onihaxy, guess what


ME: what is that?


SEGE: I have discovered who was behind the scam.


ME: really?, who?


SEGE: it was my landlord’s son I told you about.


ME: how did you find out?.


SEGE: I searched for the name of the account details on social networks and I found 8 matches on facebook, I did thorough research on the 8 accounts and I found out that my landlord’s son is a friend to one of the accounts.


ME: hmmmmm. Detective sege!!!!!. So what are you going to do next?


SEGE: I’m trying to gather evidences from my other 2 friends, from there, I will go to the bank to lodge a complain about the transactions and I will involve the police. Just watch me.


Me: hmmmmmmmmmmmm

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