Sat. Jul 13th, 2024

I followed the bike and I was running after it till it parked infront of segun’s compound. The guy at the back seat alighted from the bike and he was looking so lean and unkept, he turned sideways and his appearance matched that of segun.

“Sege!, sege!!, sege!!!” I screamed from afar and he turned around, saw me and screamed “onihaxy!!!!!!!!”.

I was so happy and joyous as I ran closer to him with tears soaked in my eyes as he drew closer to me. We hugged and exchanged pleasantries.


ME: sege!!!!!!!!!, what happened now?, where have you been?, why are you so rough like this?,


SEGE: my brother, its a long story jawe.


ME: really?, what happened?


SEGE: let’s go inside first.

Segun and I entered the compound as we went to his room, his neighbours were coming out one after the other and they began to ask him several questions, “uncle segun, where have you been?”

“Uncle segun, did you travel?”

“Segun, you just left without telling anybody”

“Segun, what happened to your phone?”

They continued to ask him series of questions which he answered some and ignored some. We eventually got to his room, he opened the door and we entered. His room was a small single room self-contain with an inbuilt toilet, kitchen and bathroom. I sat down on his bed and he sat beside me. We hugged each other again.


SEGE: onihaxy baba!!!!, how things na? Na your face be this?


ME: na me ooooo. I’m so happy I set my eyes on you again


SEGE: how did you know this place?


ME: when I arrived akure, I went to your former house, I met “mama sofia” and she directed me to meet the barber infront of the house for your new address.


SEGE: oh, ibrahim, that’s true, I know him.


ME: so how far with the police case?, have you been released?


SEGE: **** suprised*** police case?, which police case is that?.


ME: I was told you were arrested for buying a stolen iphone and would be charged to court next week.


SEGE: me?, stolen phone?, nothing of such happened to me.


ME: ** confused**** are you serious?


SEGE: yes, I’m serious, where did you get this information from?


ME: wait, where have you been for the past one week?


SEGE: na so we see am oooooo, na Kitty-Cat hunting pushed me to camp ooo.


ME: I don’t understand.


SEGE: I meet a very fine and clean girl about 8 weeks back, this girl too clean and fine ehn, she get front, get back and owns a nice deadly curve.


ME: wetin come happen?


SEGE: ok, I approached her and wanted to sign autograph on her pussssy, and she said I have to be coming to her church before she could date me.


ME: hmmmmmmmmmmmm.


SEGE: she dey attend a white garment church. Since I was so determined to drill her borehole, I had no choice than to join the church to achieve my aim.


ME: so what happened next?,


SEGE: in the process of attending the church. She took me to her pastor 2weeks back and the pastor had some visions towards me.


ME: hmmmm. What was the vision?


SEGE: he said death was closer to me and some enemies were trying to kill me. He said I should camp myself in church for 7days without talking to any one on phone, and no one must be aware that I’m going to church. That was how I left home 8days ago.


ME: eeeeyah.


SEGE: so where did you get this information from that I was arrested?


ME: sebi I was at home last week friday, I dialled you line and it wasn’t going through. I continued till wednesday or thereabout and it was still unreachable.


SEGE: ehn ehn.


ME: so yesterday, a guy called me claiming to be your lawyer. He said you were arrested for buying a stolen iphone, and that the phone was stolen with a jeep, and that you will be charged to court on monday

***phone ringing*******. Excuse me segun!!


SEGE: is that the lawyer calling?


ME: no, its adebimpe.


SEGE: ***clears throat*** you and this your bimpe sha. Una still dey run things abi?


ME: I dey come abeg **picked the call and placed it on my ear** hello bimpe


BIMPE: onihaxy, what happened to you line since morning?, have you seen the money?


ME: I’m sorry, my battery was down, I received the alert. Thanks so much dear


BIMPE: you are welcome babyboy. I’m through with that report also. I will send it to your mail later in the day


ME: thanks so much. I so much appreciate.


BIMPE: don’t mention jaree, when will you be coming back?


ME: on sunday


BIMPE: no problem. Bring something for me oooo.


ME: trust me, I will


BIMPE: that’s my baby. Talk to you later dear


ME: alright, bye ***hanged up***


SEGUN: onihaxy!!!!!!, so you mean you still hangout with this evil woman?


ME: no segun. I didn’t talk to her since the day she told me about betty of which you are aware of, but I was forced to call her yesterday to borrow me 50k to pay your lawyer. That was how we got talking again.


SEGUN: 50k? My lawyer?, is it up to that level?


ME: no be small thing ooo


SEGE: and bimpe was aware that the money was meant for me abi?


ME: not at all.


SEGE: sha be careful, that all I will say, so go on.


ME: alright. The lawyer said you are in police custody and that you had been badly beaten and that the police needed 100k to settle it out of court. I told him I don’t have much, he then told me to get 50k and he would get the rest.


SEGE: omo see scam ooo. And why didn’t you inform my family members you have their contacts to confirm from them?


ME: he said I shouldn’t inform any of your family and that you said you don’t want people to be aware.


SEGE: see me see wahala ooo. How could I be arrested and people will not be aware of it?


ME: but what baffled me was that he knew I was in lagos and even told me I work in a bank, just surprised how he got my information,


SEGE: he knew your location and occupation? Then he must have went through my phone to even know your number. So you came all the way from lagos because of me?


ME: yes bro, I didn’t go to work today sef just becos of you.


SEGE: thanks so much bro.


ME: don’t mention jaree. I know you will do more than that for me if I was the one arrested.


SEGE: I’m still surprised sha. Did you record your conversations?


ME: huuuuuh, no I didn’t.


SEGE: chai onihaxy!!!!!!, you bleeped up sha.


ME: no mind me, my mind no dey there.


SEGE: I’m coming, let me bring my phone.


ME: ok.


SEGE: ****stood up, went away and returned**** onihaxy, you won’t believe I met my phone on another spot different from where I dropped it before leaving for church and the funniest thing is that my phone was fully charged before I left, now the battery level is 31%. And my phone wasn’t on security lock.


ME: ***mouth opened wide**** iro ni oooo, how come?


SEGE: onihaxy, its official, someone entered my room and accessed my phone.


ME: so who could that be?


SEGE: I don’t even know. But the only person that has access to my room is tunde, my landlord’s son. He knew where I used to drop my key.


ME: is it only him.


SEGE: yeah. Onihaxy!!, you know what?


ME: what?


SEGE: let me see the number


ME: ******showed him the number***


SEGE: onihaxy, this number doesn’t look familiar to me. Ok, dial the number and placed it on loudspeaker and also use voice recorder.


ME: ok ****dial the number and it was switched off****


SEGE: hmmmmm, I guess the person knows I’m around. But don’t worry, let me save the number, I will get to the root of the matter and get the person.


ME: ok bro. That good.


Segun and I continued to gist about so many things. And before 8pm in the night. Like 2 of his other friends outside ondo state called him to ask about the same police case and they said they paid 30k and 50k respectively to this same lawyer.



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