Thu. Feb 8th, 2024

It was monday morning, I dressed up in my new attires

and fully prepared for the job test and interview, I ate

my breakfast and had my prayers, I dashed out of the

house and took buses to the office complex. I arrivedat

8:33am. I entered and met the secretary at the

entrance, I introduced myself to her and told her that I

was invited for a test. She gave me a paper to fill my

name and contacts and she directed me to another

room. On my way to the room, I walked pass the show

room and I saw “Heaven on Earth” furnitures and

interiors, these are the types I have only seen in

foreign movies.

I was like “onihaxy, is this what I will be marketing?”. I

got to the room and met four other guys and two

ladies in the room also waiting for the test. At few

minutes past nine, we started the test which lasted for

about 40minutes and we were told to wait behind.

Betty was calling me at intervals to check on me until

about 1:05pm when the secretary came to me us

where we sat down and called my name along side

with the names of the two ladies and another guy

making four of us. She told us to wait behind while she

told the rest to go and that they would get a call later.

“That’s a polite way to say “guys, you failed you can

go” the lady beside me whispered.

I was the second person to be interviewed, questions

were been asked which I gave answers to at my best

knowledge,. After the interview, we were all told to go

and that we would get a call later if we passed the


I left the venue at around 2:30pm and was chit –

chatting one of the ladies, she told me her name was

Sandra, she was well endowed in the upper region of

her chest and also the lower region behind her. I

stylishly obtain her phone number and BBM pin,

“onihaxy!!!!!!!, if woman no kill you one day ehn!!, you go

live long” I thought to myself as I was about taking a

bus back to my house nd my phone rang, I checked and

it was bimpe.

ME: hello,

BIMPE: onihaxy dear, how are you?

ME: I’m fine.

BIMPE: thanks so much for yesterday,

ME: don’t mention, thanks too. And how is daniella?

BIMPE: she is getting better, doctor said she would be

discharged hopefully on/or before weekend.

ME: ok, how about your husband?

BIMPE: he is fine, he was here since morning but he

went out to get something.

ME: eeyah, I felt his pain, its not easy,

BIMPE: abi oooo, he slept here in the hospital last

night, and I’m not even sure if he will go back home


ME: haba, why?,

BIMPE: he so much loves daniella and can’t leave her

here all alone.

ME: eyah, my regards to him.

BIMPE: he even asked of you and tried to call you but

your number wasn’t reachable at that time.

ME: yes that’s true, I was in an interview session then,

BIMPE: interview session?, for which job?, where?,

ME: ***onihaxy, your mouth don put you for wahala

again*** not a job interview

BIMPE: then which interview?

ME: A magazine editor came to our street to interview

few of us about something that happened in my

neighbourhood on friday, so I was among the people

selected to be interviewed, so I switched off my phone

so as to concentrate.

BIMPE: ok,

ME: is betty there?

BIMPE: no, she went home to prepare food.

ME: ok , that reminds me, I will be travelling back to

akure tomorrow morning.

BIMPE: tomorrow?, that’s too early now, what about

our dinner during the weekend?,

ME: I don’t think I can wait

BIMPE: please stay till weekend now.

ME: do you want me to loose my job?

BIMPE: if its about job, don’t worry, you will get

another one here in lagos.

ME: even if I will get another one here, I have to quit

the previous one in a right way. Please I need to travel.

BIMPE: what about the credentials you wanted to


ME: yeah, that’s true. Should I come over for it?

BIMPE: no, I don’t want henry or betty to see us

together, especially betty, she is beginning to suspect


ME: haaa, ok, let’s do it this way, will you send it to me

through public transport?.

BIMPE: no, anything can happen to the bus on the

way, I will prefer to deliver it to you one on one.

ME: ok, maybe when next I come back to lagos, maybe

I will collect it.

BIMPE: no, I want to give you before you go, I just

want to make sure I clear my neck from this game.

ME: so what do we do now?.

BIMPE: ok, I will delay you till weekend, so as to buy

time. Don’t worry, you won’t loose your job

ME: and how do you intend to achieve that?

BIMPE: don’t worry, I have a plan.


ME: ok babe, what’s the plan?,

BIMPE: give me the number of your boss, I will call

him and tell him that you had an accident and you are

hospitalised and won’t be discharged until sunday. I will

call as a doctor.

ME: chai!!!!!, bimpe, you are a crook oooo. What if he

ask of doctor’s report?

BIMPE: I will arrange that in 10 seconds.

ME: ok ooooo, so when are you doing the calling?

BIMPE: tomorrow morning is the best time, by then,

you are expected to be travelling.

ME: ok oo, what should I tell betty?

BIMPE: just cook up lies that something delayed you.

But make sure she didn’t find out about our

conversations oooo.

ME: ok ma.

BIMPE: alright dear, talk to you later.

ME: ok bye.

After the call, I went home, sat down on the bed and

got scared.

“What is bimpe up to?”

“Why is she delaying me?”

” Hope I’m save?”

“Is bimpe not trying to set me up?”

The more I think about it, the more I get scared, I

couldn’t handle it on my own and I decided to call my


ME: hello sege

SEGE: onihaxy, how far?

ME: I no fine oooo,

SEGE: wetin happen?

ME: its bimpe

SEGE: wetin do her?, she don score another point?

ME: no, she wanted to delay me till weekend before I


SEGE: what for?

ME: she said she wanted to return my belongings.

SEGE: can’t she do that today or tomorrow morning?

ME: she said she doesn’t want. Anyone to see us

SEGE: and can’t she send it through public transport?

ME: I told her ooo, she said she wanted to deliver it to

me one on one.

SEGE: onihaxy, I told you previously that two things

were involved, its either she wanted a favour from you

or there is a fresher trap ahead of you. Just be careful.

ME: ok guy, I even wanted to discuss something with

you but not now.

SEGE: what is that?

ME: its about bimpe.

SEGE: what happened?

ME: I just found out that I have another property with


SEGE: what property?

ME: I will discuss it better with you when I leave lagos.

SEGE: no yawa now. Just be careful onihaxy, don’t fall

into temptation of bleeping bimpe oooo, I’m warning

you oooo, its a deadly trap ooooo.

ME: I hear you.

The next day, bimpe did as she planned, before she

made the call, she told me to change my sim to

another one that my boss doesn’t have which I did. I

also informed betty that I would be staying behind till

weekend to get the result of the test I wrote on

Monday. Henry also called me to thank me for saving

her daughter previously.

On thursday morning, I was sitting in my room when

bimpe called me.

BiMPE: hello onihaxy,

Me: hi bimpe

BIMPE: where are you?

ME: I’m at home

BIMPE: ok, can you come and meet me at rocky hotels

right now for your credentials?

ME: where is that located?

BIMPE: along iyana-paja.

ME: why hotel?

BIMPE: stop asking questions, I told you I don’t want

anybody to see us together, that’s why I moved far

away from home.

ME: ok, I will be there soon.

BiMPE: pleasen don’t take a bus, take bike I will pay

him when you arrive. I don’t have much time to spend.

I’m still going back to work

ME: ok, I’m on my way.

I dressed up and was scared. I called segun again to

update him about the latest development, he warned

me to be careful and he told me to set my phone on

recorder if possible.

I took a bike and arrived at the hotels. I called her and

she came out to pay the bike man, she was wearing

her nurse outfit. we went inside to the reception

together and from there straight to her room. I looked

around to make sure I’m save. She placed a dark wine

bottle and two glass cups on her table, she sat on the

bed while I sat on the chair beside the table.

ME: so I’m here, where is my credentials?

BIMPE: **smiled** common onihaxy, not even a hug or


ME: you are funny, you are a married woman, I have

my own girl who happened to be your inlaw. So I can’t

do any of those things.

BIMPE: hmmmmm, onihaxy!!!!, the mighty man on bed,

the one who collapse women Kitty-Cat till they are


ME: **smiled** thank you. Maybe some other time sha,

I’m not in the mood for such now.

BIMPE: no problem anyways, let me have your phone.

ME: why?,

BIMPE: to make sure you aren’t trying to blackmail me.

ME: **smiled** me?, blackmail you?, then I will have

yours too

BIMPE: why?

ME: I also want to be on the safer side.

**we both laughed.*****



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