It was monday morning, I dressed up in my new attires
and fully prepared for the job test and interview, I ate
my breakfast and had my prayers, I dashed out of the
house and took buses to the office complex. I arrivedat
8:33am. I entered and met the secretary at the
entrance, I introduced myself to her and told her that I
was invited for a test. She gave me a paper to fill my
name and contacts and she directed me to another
room. On my way to the room, I walked pass the show
room and I saw “Heaven on Earth” furnitures and
interiors, these are the types I have only seen in
I was like “onihaxy, is this what I will be marketing?”. I
got to the room and met four other guys and two
ladies in the room also waiting for the test. At few
minutes past nine, we started the test which lasted for
about 40minutes and we were told to wait behind.
Betty was calling me at intervals to check on me until
about 1:05pm when the secretary came to me us
where we sat down and called my name along side
with the names of the two ladies and another guy
making four of us. She told us to wait behind while she
told the rest to go and that they would get a call later.
“That’s a polite way to say “guys, you failed you can
go” the lady beside me whispered.
I was the second person to be interviewed, questions
were been asked which I gave answers to at my best
knowledge,. After the interview, we were all told to go
and that we would get a call later if we passed the
I left the venue at around 2:30pm and was chit –
chatting one of the ladies, she told me her name was
Sandra, she was well endowed in the upper region of
her chest and also the lower region behind her. I
stylishly obtain her phone number and BBM pin,
“onihaxy!!!!!!!, if woman no kill you one day ehn!!, you go
live long” I thought to myself as I was about taking a
bus back to my house nd my phone rang, I checked and
it was bimpe.
BIMPE: onihaxy dear, how are you?
ME: I’m fine.
BIMPE: thanks so much for yesterday,
ME: don’t mention, thanks too. And how is daniella?
BIMPE: she is getting better, doctor said she would be
discharged hopefully on/or before weekend.
ME: ok, how about your husband?
BIMPE: he is fine, he was here since morning but he
went out to get something.
ME: eeyah, I felt his pain, its not easy,
BIMPE: abi oooo, he slept here in the hospital last
night, and I’m not even sure if he will go back home
ME: haba, why?,
BIMPE: he so much loves daniella and can’t leave her
here all alone.
ME: eyah, my regards to him.
BIMPE: he even asked of you and tried to call you but
your number wasn’t reachable at that time.
ME: yes that’s true, I was in an interview session then,
BIMPE: interview session?, for which job?, where?,
ME: ***onihaxy, your mouth don put you for wahala
again*** not a job interview
BIMPE: then which interview?
ME: A magazine editor came to our street to interview
few of us about something that happened in my
neighbourhood on friday, so I was among the people
selected to be interviewed, so I switched off my phone
so as to concentrate.
ME: is betty there?
BIMPE: no, she went home to prepare food.
ME: ok , that reminds me, I will be travelling back to
akure tomorrow morning.
BIMPE: tomorrow?, that’s too early now, what about
our dinner during the weekend?,
ME: I don’t think I can wait
BIMPE: please stay till weekend now.
ME: do you want me to loose my job?
BIMPE: if its about job, don’t worry, you will get
another one here in lagos.
ME: even if I will get another one here, I have to quit
the previous one in a right way. Please I need to travel.
BIMPE: what about the credentials you wanted to
ME: yeah, that’s true. Should I come over for it?
BIMPE: no, I don’t want henry or betty to see us
together, especially betty, she is beginning to suspect
ME: haaa, ok, let’s do it this way, will you send it to me
through public transport?.
BIMPE: no, anything can happen to the bus on the
way, I will prefer to deliver it to you one on one.
ME: ok, maybe when next I come back to lagos, maybe
I will collect it.
BIMPE: no, I want to give you before you go, I just
want to make sure I clear my neck from this game.
ME: so what do we do now?.
BIMPE: ok, I will delay you till weekend, so as to buy
time. Don’t worry, you won’t loose your job
ME: and how do you intend to achieve that?
BIMPE: don’t worry, I have a plan.
ME: ok babe, what’s the plan?,
BIMPE: give me the number of your boss, I will call
him and tell him that you had an accident and you are
hospitalised and won’t be discharged until sunday. I will
call as a doctor.
ME: chai!!!!!, bimpe, you are a crook oooo. What if he
ask of doctor’s report?
BIMPE: I will arrange that in 10 seconds.
ME: ok ooooo, so when are you doing the calling?
BIMPE: tomorrow morning is the best time, by then,
you are expected to be travelling.
ME: ok oo, what should I tell betty?
BIMPE: just cook up lies that something delayed you.
But make sure she didn’t find out about our
ME: ok ma.
BIMPE: alright dear, talk to you later.
ME: ok bye.
After the call, I went home, sat down on the bed and
“What is bimpe up to?”
“Why is she delaying me?”
” Hope I’m save?”
“Is bimpe not trying to set me up?”
The more I think about it, the more I get scared, I
couldn’t handle it on my own and I decided to call my
ME: hello sege
SEGE: onihaxy, how far?
ME: I no fine oooo,
SEGE: wetin happen?
ME: its bimpe
SEGE: wetin do her?, she don score another point?
ME: no, she wanted to delay me till weekend before I
SEGE: what for?
ME: she said she wanted to return my belongings.
SEGE: can’t she do that today or tomorrow morning?
ME: she said she doesn’t want. Anyone to see us
SEGE: and can’t she send it through public transport?
ME: I told her ooo, she said she wanted to deliver it to
me one on one.
SEGE: onihaxy, I told you previously that two things
were involved, its either she wanted a favour from you
or there is a fresher trap ahead of you. Just be careful.
ME: ok guy, I even wanted to discuss something with
you but not now.
SEGE: what is that?
ME: its about bimpe.
SEGE: what happened?
ME: I just found out that I have another property with
SEGE: what property?
ME: I will discuss it better with you when I leave lagos.
SEGE: no yawa now. Just be careful onihaxy, don’t fall
into temptation of bleeping bimpe oooo, I’m warning
you oooo, its a deadly trap ooooo.
ME: I hear you.
The next day, bimpe did as she planned, before she
made the call, she told me to change my sim to
another one that my boss doesn’t have which I did. I
also informed betty that I would be staying behind till
weekend to get the result of the test I wrote on
Monday. Henry also called me to thank me for saving
her daughter previously.
On thursday morning, I was sitting in my room when
bimpe called me.
BiMPE: hello onihaxy,
Me: hi bimpe
BIMPE: where are you?
ME: I’m at home
BIMPE: ok, can you come and meet me at rocky hotels
right now for your credentials?
ME: where is that located?
BIMPE: along iyana-paja.
ME: why hotel?
BIMPE: stop asking questions, I told you I don’t want
anybody to see us together, that’s why I moved far
away from home.
ME: ok, I will be there soon.
BiMPE: pleasen don’t take a bus, take bike I will pay
him when you arrive. I don’t have much time to spend.
I’m still going back to work
ME: ok, I’m on my way.
I dressed up and was scared. I called segun again to
update him about the latest development, he warned
me to be careful and he told me to set my phone on
recorder if possible.
I took a bike and arrived at the hotels. I called her and
she came out to pay the bike man, she was wearing
her nurse outfit. we went inside to the reception
together and from there straight to her room. I looked
around to make sure I’m save. She placed a dark wine
bottle and two glass cups on her table, she sat on the
bed while I sat on the chair beside the table.
ME: so I’m here, where is my credentials?
BIMPE: **smiled** common onihaxy, not even a hug or
ME: you are funny, you are a married woman, I have
my own girl who happened to be your inlaw. So I can’t
do any of those things.
BIMPE: hmmmmm, onihaxy!!!!, the mighty man on bed,
the one who collapse women Kitty-Cat till they are
ME: **smiled** thank you. Maybe some other time sha,
I’m not in the mood for such now.
BIMPE: no problem anyways, let me have your phone.
BIMPE: to make sure you aren’t trying to blackmail me.
ME: **smiled** me?, blackmail you?, then I will have
ME: I also want to be on the safer side.
**we both laughed.*****