Sun. May 12th, 2024

ME: will it look like the real one?

SEGE: at least 80% real

ME: so how do we go about it?

SEGE: the time is just 8pm. Let’s rush down to the

cafe down the street to make the print outs

ME: Are we still going to find a cafe by this time?

SeGE: hopefully, we should.

ME: but I don’t have much on me at the moment

SEGE: don’t worry, I still have like 1k on me.

ME: ok, how about the original credentials with

Adebimpe?, am I going to forget it just like that?

SEGE: my guy, when we find a successful alternative,

then we can now talk about how to retrieve the one

your wife is holding.

ME: which wife be that?

SEGE: your lovely Adebimpe **laughed**

ME: you no well, the girl wey be say I go kill any day

I see her

SEGE: the onihaxy that I know will always fall again

and again on Adebimpe’s lap anyday anytime.

ME: **laughs**. Seriously sege. You know well

SEGE: na lie?

ME: honestly, e be like say that girl dey use charm on

me sef.

SEGE: no be charm, na her juicy honeypot dey kill


ME: abeg forget bimpe matter jaree. Let’s go to the

cafe first.

SEGE: ok

We walked out of the room and I locked my door, we

walked down the street and found out that the cafe

had closed. We trekked to the next cafe and we

found out that it had been closed also.

ME: sege, what do we do now?,

SEGE: maybe till tomorrow be that.

ME: ok,

I saw segun off and I returned back to my house. I

felt relieved and eased. I began to get hungry and

regaining appetite for food. I dropped my phone on

my bed and went to my kitchen to prepare noodles. I

was about to empty the sachet of the noodles into

the pot when my phone was ringing. I rushed to see

who is calling and it was my uncle. I picked up the


ME: hello sir

UNCLE: aburo, how are you?

ME: I’m fine sir

UNCLE: ehn ehn. My chairman said he is travelling by

10am tomorrow morning,

ME: haaa,

UNCLE: you know what that means?

ME: no sir

UNCLE: you have to follow early morning bus. You

must be here latest 8am in the morning so that he

can attend to you before travelling.

ME: ok sir. Thank you very much sir.

UNCLE: ***hanged up*****

I suddenly lost appetite again and I began to

soliloquies, “this must be the handiwork of the people

from my village”.


After few minutes of soliloquies, I looked up to the

wall and the time was few minutes to 10pm. What

will I do now?, I have nobody else to talk to apart

from segun. I picked my phone to chat with him.

ME: sege, how you dey?

SEGE: I dey fine ooo. Hope you don dey prepare for

your interview?.

ME: prepare kee?, wahala don dey ooo

SEGE: wetin happen?

ME: my uncle just called me now.

SEGE: na wetin him talk?. He say the job no sure


ME: he talk say the chairman dey travel tomorrow

morning by 10am. So I must reach b4 8am.

SEGE: haa!!, how you go do your credentials stuffs


ME: I no know ooo.

SEGE: ok, there is an alternative.

ME: what is it?

SEGE: use your phone to access your mail and

download them from your email and save it on your

memory card.

ME: how will I print it then?

SEGE: I will come to your place very early tomorrow

morning around 5:30 to give you a card reader. You

will insert your memory card inside it and print the

stuffs at any computer centre when you get to Ado.

ME: ok jaree. That’s ma boy

SEGE: that’s my guy too. Bimpe’s surest husband

ME: I no like am ooo.

SEGE: no worry, na me go best you on your wedding

day. Lol

ME: you no well.

I logged into my mail and found my Bsc and NYsc

certificates only from my sent box. I downloaded

both of them. I then realised that it was only the

frontpage of my Bsc result I scanned. I didn’t

scanned the backpage and the bagepage has my

school logo and text imprint on it just like that of the

front page. I logged in back to my whatsapp to

update segun.

ME: sege

SEGE: how far guy?. You don download am.

ME: yeah, but there is a problem

SEGE: what is it?

ME: my oracle certificate wasn’t scanned along

during that period.

SEGE: what about the and NYSC?

ME: I was able to retrieve those ones.

SEGE: that is cool. You can generate an excuse for

the missing oracle certificate when you get there

ME: ok, but the Bsc result I downloaded doesn’t have

a backpage.

SEGE: backpage as how?

ME: on our certificate. The logo of our school and

some text imprints are on the back page with two


SEGE: is the backpage the same for every


ME: yes, just the logo and the school name written

imprinted on it.

SEGE: don’t worry. I have a guy who schooled and

graduated from your school 2 years ago and serving

presently. I will get intouch with him and scan the

backpage of his document and send to your

whatsapp before you reach Ado.

ME: **took a deep breath***, thanks jaree my guy.

You are too much

SEGE: what are we friends for

ME: my mind just settle small

SEGE: start rehearsing a genuine excuse you will

provide for the missing oracle certificate

ME: ok jare padi mi.

SEGUN: abeg, I wan post something on my blog, we

go chat later.

ME: ok, goodnite.

I slept off few minutes later until I heard a knock and

a harsh voice on my door around 2am to open up or I

loose my life. I thought I was dreaming, it was when

the knocks and threat was getting intense that I

realised that they are armed robbers. Behold, I

opened out of fear and my laptop and my Blackberry

phone was carted away.

I just couldn’t cry. I was just dump and clueless.

“No doubt, Adebimpe has been going spiritual on me,


I don dey suspect say this girl na Emere” I thought.

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