Thu. Jul 11th, 2024

I left home on Monday morning and drove my car to work as usual, the thoughts of all that transpired between me and funmilayo over the weekend was seriously disturbing my brain as I was driving to work.

“How do I look into funmi’s face today?”

” What if she ask me questions?”

“What if she asks me how her cloths disappeared from her?”

” What if she ask me how she woke up without pants on?”

” How do I give answers?”

” What if she accuse me of raping her?”

” Onihaxy!!! Just be bold and be a man”

I parked my car and walked into the office to pray, I asked my office mates if they had seen funmilayo that day and I was told that she went to the ground floor for an executive meeting. My mind wasn’t at rest throughout the connect meeting we had in the morning. I returned from the connect session and my mind was still very much disturbed as I sat down on my seat. I was about to commence the work for day when I heard the sound of the main entrance door, I lifted up my head to see who was coming inside and behold, it was funmilayo. I was totally shocked on seeing her, the rate of my heartbeat was tripled immediately and I didn’t know when the file on my hand dropped on the table. Funmi was walking towards the entrance of her office and she stopped by at my table with a smile on her face and she said “good morning onihaxy. Hope your weekend was good?”, with great fear still on my mind, I replied her saying. “My weekend was good. Thanks”. She cat-walked inside her office with her shoe hills making sounds on the floor. She shut her door and I became totally confused.

” Did funmi just smiled at me?”

” I was expecting her to frown”

” Does it mean that she wasn’t aware of all that happened?”

” Or could she be pretending?”

” Since she didn’t say anything, then I have to keep mute then”.

I continued my work until break time when I decided to chat with segun.

ME: hi segun.

SEGE: how far onihaxy?,

ME: I dey oooo.

SEGE: how far with you and your boss?,what did she say?

ME: she never said anything oooo. Infact, I was so confused when I so her smiling at me just now.

SEGE: maybe she doesn’t want to talk about it.

ME: I don’t think so. The funmi that I know will rather frown at me instead of smiling.

SEGE: maybe she might talk about it later.

ME: I don’t think so, or couldn’t be that she was really unconscious of the s£x.

SEGE: maybe or maybe not. Don’t judge now. Wait till you guys will have a discussion together to see if she will ask you or not.

ME: alright, no problem. Let’s chat later segun, I want to go to the canteen to eat.

SEGE: alright onihaxy. Let’s chat later.

I stood up from my seat and picked my wallet from my bag which I placed beside my chair. I was about going out when I got an office mail from funmilayo. I opened the message to read the content and I almost fainted when I read that funmi said I should see her in her office immediately.

*****chai!!!!!, I’m finally in trouble***


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I summoned all the courage I could gather and I went to meet her in her office. My mind wasn’t settled as I was already having the pictures of been sacked in my mind. I knocked on the door and she told me to come in, I pulled out her visitor’s chair and I sat down. I wasn’t bold enough to look into her face and I was looking at her desk.

FUNMI: onihaxy, how was your weekend?

ME: it was fine.

FUNMI: you were telling me about being drunk on Friday night. I have been trying to recollect about it but I couldn’t remember. What really happened?.

ME: **forced smile*** eeeehm. We arrived at the bar, you ordered for two bottles of Guinness and pepper soup while I ordered for a can of energy drink. You later ordered for three more bottles.

FUNMI: really? Ehn ehn?

ME: yes. Then you started acting like someone that was high and intoxicated. That was when I begged a guy to help me bring you to the car.

FUNMI: and why can’t you bring me to the car by yourself?

ME: your weight was too much for me to lift as at that time.

FUNMI: hahahahahaha. Lazy boy.

ME: ***smiled****

FUNMI: so, what happened next?

ME: I drove you home and took you to your bedroom and I left.

FUNMI: you left immediately?

ME: Not really. I think we reached your house at past 12 midnight and I left your place at around 4am in the morning.

FUNMI: how did you open the gate and the main door?

ME: I took your bunch of keys from your bag and I started trying it one after the other until I got through.

FUNMI: hmmmmm, so where were you between 12midnight and 4am?

ME: *****chai!!!!**** I think I was in the living room trying to get some sleep.

FUNMI: are you the one that changed my clothes?

ME: ***silent for a while*** no oooo, you changed it yourself.

FUNMI: how did you know that I changed it by myself?, were you there with me?

ME: not at all, I came back to check on you at few minutes to 4am before going home. That was when I saw you in your night gown.

FUNMI: **smiled** hmmmmmm, Onihaxy!!!!!!!!!

ME: ***scared*** what is that ma?

FUNMI: never mind. Thanks for the ride and outing anyways.

ME: you are welcome.

FUNMI: so, aren’t you going out for lunch?

ME: I will. I was about going out when I got your mail.

FUNMI: ***brought out a thousand naira from her purse*** ok, take this and get a plate of rice for me while you are coming.

ME: ok boss ****stood up****

FUNMI: ****smiled*** onihaxy, you were so full of energy that friday night. Now I understand the reason behind your taking of energy drink.

ME: ***dumbfolded and silent*** thanks. Let me start going now. I’m so hungry.

FUNMI: alright, no problem.

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