Fri. Jul 19th, 2024

had my shower on getting home that saturday morning. I sat down on my bed and began to think about lots of things.

“I can’t believe what just happened”

“I can’t believe I just had s£x with funmilayo”

” Was she really unconscious?”

” Was she really under the influence of alcohol?”

” Or was it an intentional act?”

” I could remember she was calling me her husband”

” Was she seeing me as her late husband?”

” How do I face her on monday to discuss this?”

“I just hope I am not putting my job on the line?”

” Should I call her on phone right away?”

“What will I tell her when I call?”

“Should I say I was also under the influence of alcohol too?

” But I never took any alcohol?”

” All I took was an energy drink and it wasn’t alcoholic”

I thought and thought until I decided to put it off my mind. As I was about to stand up from the bed, I heard a whatsapp notification sound on my phone, I picked up the phone to check and it was a chat from segun.

SEGE: hi onihaxy

ME: I’m good onihaxy, how you dey?

SEGE: I dey fine jaree. How far about the outing na?, how did it go?

ME: that outing was something else oooo. It has put me into trouble.

SEGE: what trouble is that?, did Henry see you with her?

ME: no

SEGE: ok, bimpe came there and fought with funmi abi?

ME: no jor

SEGE: then what happened?

ME: we ended up having s£x

SEGE: yeaaaaaaah!!!!. That’s my boy. Is that what you referred to as trouble?

ME: yes.

SEGE: it’s an achievement na. How come you said its trouble?

ME: it happened in an awkward way.

SEGE: awkward way as how?, gist me abeg.

ME: ok, we got to the bar and she ended up been drunk after taking 5 bottles of Guinness.

SEGE: heeeeeee!!!!, 5 bottles?

ME: yes

SEGE: so your boss na brewery?

ME: I never knew she used to drink until yesterday.

SEGE: so what happened next?

ME: she was drunk and intoxicated that she began to act funny and say some funny things

SEGE: like someone that is high abi?

ME: yeah.

SEGE: ok, continue.

ME: so I called on some guys to help me take her to the car. So I drove her to her house and we arrived there at some minutes to 12am.

SEGE: waoooooh, na late night outing ooooo. It means you slept in her house niyen?

ME: yes

SEGE: then what happened next?

ME: she pulled off all her cloths in my presence and seduced me to erection. The funniest part was that she called me her husband and she was addressing me as if she was addressing her husband.

SEGE: ok, I’m with you

ME: she made the move and we had s£x and she slept off thereafter.

SEGE: hmmmmm. That’s called “drunk s£x ooooo” the thing dey sweet die. Abi no be so?

ME: you no well segun.

SEGE: was she concious after the s£x?

ME: no, she slept off immediately.

SEGE: so why are you now saying it led you into trouble?

ME: I don’t know if she was conscious of the s£x or not, so it won’t appear as if I raped her or took advantage of her drunk state to molest her.

SEGE: has she called you since then?

ME: no ooo, she hasn’t. I was even thinking of calling her myself but I don’t know what to say if I call.

SEGE: don’t call her, let her call you first. And when you see her, don’t say anything relating to the occurrence. Just pretend as if nothing happened.

ME: but what if she talk about it?, or ask about what happened when we got to her house?

SEGE: just wait till then now. Then you will tell her that she was the one that lured you and molested you.

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Will that work?

SEGE: very sure. Just don’t say anything about it until she brings it up.

ME: I suspended my chat with segun and I tried doing some other stuff until about 20 minutes later when I heard the ringtone of my phone. I checked the screen and it was a call from funmilayo. I suddenly started to breath heavily, my hand shook as I held the phone, I couldn’t pick the first call out of fear until the second call came in and I summoned courage to pick it up.

ME: ***shaking voice*** hi ma, sorry, hello funmi

FUNMI: hello onihaxyn hope you are fine?

ME: I’m fine ma. Sorry, I’m fine funmilayo.

FUNMI: thanks so much for yesterday.

ME: you are welcome.

FUNMI: onihaxy, what happened yesterday night?

ME: ****chai!!!!, e don happen****

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