Thu. Jul 11th, 2024

When I was through with segun’s call, I checked the balance on the phone and it was around 18naira, I purchased another airtime worth of N100 naira to call bimpe. I checked my phone and saw her contact and then dialled it in the vendor’s phone. It rang for a while before she finally picked it.


ME: hello bimpe,


BIMPE: *****silent*****


ME: hello oooooooo


BIMPE: hi onihaxy, how are you?.


ME: I’m fine. why aren’t you talking before?


BIMPE: just wanted to be sure that it’s you. shebi you said there won’t be any communications between us this period?.


ME: yeah, I said so. but there is a problem.


BIMPE: where are you? and where is betty?


ME: I’m far away from home while Betty is at home.


BIMPE: so what is the problem?.


ME: Betty found your watch in my room?.


BIMPE: she found what?


ME: your watch


BIMPE: oooooooh gosh. onihaxy, what exactly is your problem?. can’t you just keep things in order for once?. the last time, it was text message she saw, now it’s my watch. how on earth did that happen?


ME: she said she was doing some clean up and she saw it.


BIMPE: onihaxy, you are just so careless. why will you keep such item in a place where she would see it. don’t you have any other safe place in your house?. honestly I doubt it if you can manage two women together at a time.


ME: haaaaa.


BIMPE: yes. I have been living with both her brother and her in this house and I still communicate with you and no one found out. how come it’s always from you that mistakes do occur.


ME: I’m sorry about that


BIMPE: so what do we do now?


ME: I have a plan.


BIMPE: what is the plan?


ME: I will show her the medical report you sent to me and I will tell her that I came to your hospital for medical examinations from my bank, then I saw the watch on your hand and I liked it and wanted to get the same for her, so I collected yours as a sample to show a watch dealer in order to get the same for her.


BIMPE: ok, so what do you want me to do?


ME: I just wanted you to play along with me. she might want to call you or ask questions.


BIMPE: I just hope it works out. seriously, you are annoying onihaxy.


ME: no vex dear


BIMPE: ***hanged up*****


****chai!!!!!!!, BIMPE too dey vex!!!, then it means I seriously bleeped up******. I turned around to return the phone back to the vendor and I noticed she was shaking her head. ” chai, and I wan collect this girl number ooo. but as she don’t hear my conversations, na Bleep up be that”. I paid for the card and left the place. I checked my phone and I found out the battery was at 48%.

“what excuse will I give Betty for the unavailability of my phone?”. then I thought of draining the battery, I opened multiple application, started playing games and also playing music all at the same time. I board bus back to my house. on getting to my street, i stopped at a cafe to print out another copy of the medical result. i got to the front of my house and my battery level was 18%, I decided to spend more time standing outside and operating my phone until it shows ” battery too low for radio to use”.

I entered my room and Betty welcomed me with a hug and kiss. I sent her to get me a cup in the kitchen and i stylishly drop the report inside the bag I do carry to work before she returned from the kitchen.

she helped me in removing my shirt and dropped it in the wardrobe.


BETTY: what happened to your line?, I have been trying to reach you but it wasn’t available


ME: so sorry about that dear. my battery was low for radio to use ***showed her the phone*****


BETTY: eeeyah. so sorry dear. how was work today?


ME: fine dear.


BETTY: alright. I was asking a question the other time, you didn’t reply


ME: what was that?


BETTY: I said I saw aunty bimpe’s wristwatch. how did it get here?


ME: ****acted as planned by segun and I showed her the report*******.


BETTY: ***smiled****. I never knew you loved me this much to the extent that you planned getting a watch of 35k for me out of your little salary. ****kissed me****.


ME: *****smiled***** “chai!!!!!, it worked*****


BETTY: well, aunty BIMPE called me few minutes back and she told me similar thing. she said I should bring her watch along while coming.


ME: hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Betty left my house on Sunday evening with bimpe’s wristwatch and she told she must get her own watch before she travels which I promised to get for her. I was at work on Wednesday the following week when she called that she would be visiting me at home in the night. I closed earlier that day after lieing to funmi that I wasn’t feeling to fine. she released me to go and gave me a sum of 5k to take care of myself and this took place right there at my desk. my colleagues started their gossips as usual and tagged me “query mama’s favourite” as usual. I got home by 7pm and met Betty’s car at my compound, I entered and met her at home. she had picked up my spare key at the usual spot.

we prepared dinner and had a shower before going to bed. we lied on the bed and she called me.


BETTY: onihaxy,


ME: yes dear


BETTY: I came to drop my car . all the documents are inside it. so you should start your driving lesson any moment from now.


ME: haaaaa. shebi you said it 2 weeks time you will be travelling?


BETTY: I will be travelling out in two weeks time but I’m returning to abuja tomorrow to conclude my travelling arrangements.


ME: ****felt sober****** I will miss you Betty. I wish you shouldn’t go, I just wish you stay here with me.


BETTY: ****pats me***** I understand you onihaxy. I’m doing all these for you. having my masters is my greatest heart desire, and I will need it to hunt for a better job since I won’t be working with my father. we can’t just rely on your salary alone. we will have a better family together when we combine incomes.


ME: ok dear. I don’t just know how to cope without you.


BETTY: same here dear. but we have no choice than to cope. its just for 11months.


ME: ok dear.


BETTY: I will also give you a sum of three hundred thousand naira, its with me here. just use it to support your upkeep till I arrive.


ME’ ****mood changed**** you are a darling. thanks so much


BETTY: don’t mention onihaxy. everything I have belongs to you.


we went to bed and had a nice three rounds of good s£x. we woke up early and left the house the same time. I went to work while Betty returned to lekki on public transport. I got to work, sat down and began to think.

” onihaxy!!, its high time to stop anything you have with bimpe”

“I have been cheating on Betty”

“she doesn’t deserve this treatments at all”

” Betty truely loves me”

” segun has even vowed not to help me in bimpe’s situation again”.

” everything between bimpe and I must be over this moment”.

I went through my phone and deleted her contact and messages and anything that has to do with bimpe. I stopped picking her calls after Betty’s departure to abuja. she sent me series of text messages which I didn’t reply.

the next weekend, I went to start my driving lessons and stayed away from home till Sunday evening before returning home and my landlord called me on seeing me and said “onihaxy, your wife came here to check on you yesterday”, I was shocked and was surprised how Betty could come without informing me. I asked my landlord “which wife is that sir?”, he said “the one that came to get your accommodation for you”. ooooh bimpe right?, my landlord replied ” yes, that was the name she mentioned”. I thanked my landlord and went inside and began to wonder why bimpe would come to my house to look for me. I was tempted to call her but I didn’t.

I went to work on Monday and she continued calling which I still refused to pick because that was the only way I could detach myself from her. she pinged and send several messages begging me to forgive her in case she offended me which I refused to reply. she continued calling till Thursday morning and none of the calls was picked or returned. I got home that Thursday evening and I was so tired. I dropped my phone on my bed and went to the bathroom to have my bath. on returning to the room, I saw an envelope icon on my phone indicating that I have a message. I opened it and it was from bimpe. I just smiled thinking it was one her usual texts but I was shocked when I read the content

” onihaxy, I don’t know the exact offence that I committed that you find it so hard to forgive me. I called, text and even visited you and yet you are still avoiding me and treating me this way. well, that isn’t the reason for sending you this text. I just want to tell you that I did some test at my hospital and we need to see , sit down and discuss about the result. reply me indicating your convenient date, time and venue. have a nice day”.

my mouth was wide opened and I couldn’t close it.

” chaiiii onihaxy!!!!!!!. you are in serious trouble!!!!!”




ladies and gentlemen, onihaxy will return in

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