Sat. May 11th, 2024







I woke up with a growling stomach, it was probably hungry. I had not eaten the whole lot of yesterday plus I had been drinking before the C5 cake and captured me, and now I have high doubts if these are even the C5. I have spent the entire night trying to think of who could be doing this to me but still I can’t put my head right.


I hear the door open but it doesn’t close, I can’t even look in the direction of the footsteps coming because I am too weak.


‘Look who is alive.’ The man who had come last days to me


I look up and meet his face, I must admit he is good looking. He is well built and has muscle in all the right places and another day I wouldn’t mind making him mine.


‘Please I want to go home.’ I beg instead


He looks at me with a smile, exposing his perfect white teeth.


‘You want to go home?’ He asks


‘Yes please.’ I respond


He laughs lightly


‘You will go home.’ He responds



Two other men come in with buckets of water, one of them unties my hands and asks me to stand up.


I am too weak but I am just happy to be able to be on my feet.


‘Wash up.’ One of them says




‘You do realize you have stool and urine all over your body right?’ The man from yesterday asks


‘Won’t you leave?’


‘There is nothing to watch, besides what is interesting about you?’ He asks


I look at him with pleading eyes but his face is void of any emotions.


I begin to slowly remove my clothes but none of them dares to look away, it’s like I am just one of them.


When I just remain with my underwear, I stand there and stop.


‘I said remove everything.’




He removes a sharp knife from his pocket, tears the sides of my underwear and it freely falls to the ground. I have never felt so naked in my life – literally.


‘Now wash up!’ He shouts lighting a cigarette


I hesitantly touch the water


‘Jesus.’ I scream and the two men that walked in last laugh


‘This water is ice cold.’



‘Does it remind you of something?’ The other man who I decide to refer to as smoky for his hot looks asks


I stare at him blankly


‘You are a cold person Cassie, now imagine how people that have had an encounter with you have felt. Or do you perhaps prefer boiling water?’


I don’t respond but just start washing up


Tears roll down my cheeks as the water continues to hit my body, the lump on my throat is hard to swallow but I have no other alternative. My fingers are freezing but I know if I stop these men might hurt me. I continue to scrub until all the dirt is out of my body but I can still smell the different scents.


When done I am handed a towel to wipe my body and an orange gown to wear.


The two men drag me out of the room to another room which has a tiny bed. I am forcefully put on it and both of my hands and legs are tied on each side.


‘What do you want to do to me?’ I ask as fear creeps in


All three walk out and now it is just me.


I look at the ceiling, I don’t know when last I prayed but this time I open my mouth to say a prayer.


‘Lord.’ I begin then pause


‘I don’t remember the last time I said a prayer, I don’t even know if you remember me but I am desperate. I don’t know how it is I wronged. Well I have wronged a lot of people but this one in particular looks like they have scored to settle. Lord I am scared, for the first time in my life I feel like I might just lose it and I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I did. Please, if you truly exist. Save me now.’ I say as more tears fall



The door opens and a man dressed like a doctor walks in, he doesn’t say a word to me but just closes the door then begins to remove his things from his bag.


I don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that this is about to go south but still I ask in a shaky voice.


‘What do you want to do to me?’


He doesn’t even bother to look at me.


I look at the sharp objects that he has in his hands and I can’t help but feel fear.


‘What are you doing to me?’ I ask when he turns to face me


He lifts my rope and begins to shave my privates


‘Please.’ I beg


Smoky comes in and puts duct tape on my mouth then he walks out.


He gets what looks like a knife and makes an incision in my v***na, it hurts. So bad the tears fall but he doesn’t stop, just when I think it is over he gets one of the long instruments which he had removed from his bag and and inserts it. I try to love my legs but I am tied and I can’t do anything, I feel everything. He digs deep within me for what seems like forever until he removes what I can only guess is my womb.


When he is done he makes stitches, I have never felt a pain that hurt this much. I can see all the blood dripping on the flow and for a minute I had thought that I would bleed to death but this man is an expert in keeping me hurting and alive.


I don’t have any more strength left in me, even when he removes the duct tape I just watch him silently. He packs up then leaves me there.


I silently cry and think of what’s worse, having killed my own child or realizing that I would never be able to hold another in my arms.



I am left on that bed for the longest of time until the door opens and two men walk in dressed in Zambia Police uniforms.


‘Ms. Cassie Kabwe you are under arrest for the murder of your child and anything you say will be used against you in the court of law.’ One says as the belts are unstrapped


I am too weak to walk so they carry me to the vehicle, they take me to the hospital where a doctor comes to attend to me but the officers don’t leave the room.


‘Looks like the person who did this is an expert, I will just give her some pain killers and she will be okay.’ He says


I look at him with pleading eyes but he leave.


‘You heard what the doctor said.’


As I walk I feel the pain, it takes me close to twenty minutes to get to the car then I am driven to Lilayi police and immediately put in a withholding cell.


‘And look who we have here?’


I turn around only to find Catra there


‘Catra?’ I ask


‘I see the surgery was a success.’ She says


‘How could you?’ I ask


‘How could I what?’


‘Catra we are sisters, how could you do this to me?’


‘You haven’t seen anything yet Cassie.’ She says coming towards me then hitting me where the incision was done



I scream out in pain falling to the ground as I notice my clothes getting wet with blood.


She moves towards me again then continues to hit me and the other inmates are just watching and cheering on.


‘Cassie you and are will be the last of our generation and I will make sure none of us comes out alive.’ She says leaving me there


‘Help me.’ I cry silently but no one comes to my rescue







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