Sat. May 11th, 2024





I don’t know what has just happened, but I am glad to be out of Vashawn’s presence, I am trying so hard to keep it together as Coldy drives us but I just can’t.


‘Please stop.’ I say as the bile rises to my mouth


He does that and I quickly get out of the car to puke


I don’t know at what point he comes out but he is holding my hair up.


I puke some more.


‘When was the last time you took alcohol?’ he asks handing me a bottle of water to rinse my mouth


“I can’t remember and trust me I don’t think I will be drinking any time soon.’



He laughs


‘You need to get some air.’ He says removing the keys from the car


‘Where are we going?’ I ask looking around


‘No where.’


He drives a 2019 Hilux Pickup and so he drops the back and sits there.


‘Sit with me.’


I am a little skeptical considering my weight.


‘I weigh five times heavier than you.’ He says as if reading my mind


I laugh lightly, for the first time in a very long time I am laughing about my weight without being totally conscious.


I sit next to him and allow the cold to hit my face, my hair blows a little and it feels good to be here.


‘How have you been?’ he asks


I haven’t seen him since the day Vashawn left our house and I was thinking he was going to call me to find out what had happened but he never did.


‘I have been on leave.’ I say dropping my shoulders


He laughs


‘I was married for three years before finally divorcing my wife.’ He says with sadness in his voice


I look at him; this is a side of him that I have never seen before, I notice his eyes are weary too.



‘She was everything I ever wanted in a woman, I was happy. We had it all.’


He pauses after a chuckle


‘What went wrong?’


‘we wanted different things.’


I look at him expecting more but he doesn’t say anything.


‘She was a lovely person, made a good wife too.’ He smiles when he says that


‘My parents loved her and that was a bonus on my part considering she was white and my dad always thought I would marry an African woman to be an interracial couple like himself and mum.’


I laugh lightly


‘So yeah, I wanted us to build our empire together she wanted to be a stay at home wife. I wanted us to go for functions together, she wanted to stay indoors. So many things were not adding up and that started to weigh our marriage down.’


‘And you didn’t talk about all this before tying the knot?


‘We did, except it was different. We did all those things together then she just started to draw back.’




‘First it was our friendship, we couldn’t talk like we used to. We just started becoming distant, home for me was cold and void. That is not what I signed up for and so I brought it up with her.’


‘How did that go?’


He takes a deep breath



‘For a while we both put in our all, we tried as much as possible to try and make things work but it couldn’t and so we decided to part ways.’


I laugh


‘Just like that? You date someone for years, get married to them and then just wake up one day and leave them? Or live without them?’


‘Why not?’ he asks eyeing me


‘Coldy marriage is a union that is supposed to last you till death do you part?’


‘Even if you are not happy?’ he questions


I stand up feeling all sorts of emotions


‘I loved my ex-wife, maybe a part of me still does but who said you can’t love someone from a distance? We decided to part ways because we knew in the long run we would hurt each other. She never once cheated on me neither did I, but at the rate at which we were moving that was going to happen and none of us wanted to live long enough to see that day.’


‘Do you have kids?’


‘No I don’t.’


‘Maybe if you did you would understand better.’ I say


‘And I thought having kids should make it easier for one to leave, I mean who wants their children to grow up in an unhappy environment with toxic parents?’


‘Some men are good fathers and yet bad husbands.’


‘I don’t think anyone who doesn’t appreciate a tree will appreciate it’s fruits.’


I open my mouth to say something but close it



‘We are all different.’ I manage to say after some time


‘Hurt is hurt, it doesn’t matter how different we are. And no I wouldn’t judge you, I have no idea the things you have been through but all I know is that what didn’t kill you knows who you belong to. Always remember that.’


For the first time since getting here I smile genuinely. I wish it was that easy to divorce Vashawn, I know they are days when I wished that I could just leave him but I didn’t have the strength. I built my life around him, I didn’t know how to start without him.


‘Let us get you home.’ He says standing up as well


He walks me to my side and opens the door for me, waits for me to get in before closing it.


When we get home, I thank him for the ride then head inside where the kids are waiting for me.




I am mad, I drag Valerie out of granddaddy’s until we are where she has parked her car.


‘Can’t a girl have fun without being disturbed?’ she asks irritated


‘Valerie you don’t bring my wife.’


I pause realizing what I have just said


‘You don’t bring the mother of my children out and expect me not to say anything.’


She laughs


‘You do know Cassie is home waiting for you right?’ she asks



‘Plus who is this? Honey what is your name?’


‘Catra.’ The girl I am with responds


‘Yes her, why don’t the two of you just have fun like you planned on having? You left Michel to be with another woman so let her be.’


‘But not to dress like that!’ I yell


Valerie laughs, I don’t know if she is drunk or just trying too hard to piss me off but whatever the case it is really working.


My phone rings and it is Cassie calling


‘Hey.’ I say


‘Where are you?’ she asks


‘Out why?’


‘Do you realize what the time is?’


I look at my watch, it is thirty minutes to 7PM.


‘Yes I do.’


‘And you are still out fully aware that tomorrow is a Monday right?’


‘What do you want?’


‘I want you back home in the next thirty minutes.’


‘And if I don’t come?’


‘Vashawn I dare you, you honestly thought you could knock me up and leave me alone in this big house whilst you go out there and have fun? You have another



thing coming. Just make it thirty one minutes and you won’t know what hit you.’ She threatens then drops the line


‘Baby are you okay?’ Catra asks trying to touch my hand but I yank it off angrily


‘And you thought all women fall from the same tree hey?’ Valerie asks before getting into her car, she drives off with her laughter lingering in the air


I decide to drive Catra back to her room, I had plans of getting us a room and maybe having some good time with her but right now I am too upset for any of that. But I just can’t let her go like that so we have a quickie in the car before dashing her some hundred kwacha notes to use for the week.


By the time I am getting home it’s after 9PM, surprisingly I find some of my clothes on the verandah outside.


‘What the hell.’ I say to myself


The house is locked and all the lights are off.


I call Cassie a number of times and her phone is going unanswered, just when I want to give up the living room light goes on and she opens a window.


‘What in God’s name is happening here?’ I ask trying to keep calm


‘What time is this?’


‘I am not playing this game with you, just open the door.’ I say


She laughs


‘You think I am stupid hey?’


‘What is that supposed to mean?”



‘The minute you decided to cheat on your wife with me; I knew if ever a day came that you married me, you would cheat on me too but I didn’t think it was going to be this early.’


‘I have no idea what you are talking about, just open up because it is getting really cold here.’


‘Vashawn you have kids, not one but three and another on the way. You still want to behave like a child, well I will punish you like one. Go back to where you are coming from and the next time you want to spend a night in this house, make sure you come before 8PM.’ She says and closes the window


Minutes later the light goes off and am left standing there bewildered


‘You can wear those clothes to work tomorrow.’ A text comes in seconds later




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *