I am sitting against the pastel painted bed in my room with a bottle of wine in my hand, I am drinking straight from the bottle I don’t have the energy to pour the drink into a glass.
I glance at my watch for the umpteenth time, 01:30 and Fred is not yet back, I still can’t believe he walked out on me all because I questioned him about his relationship with Anna.
Fred is cheating I can feel it in my heart. I sacrificed my youth for that man. I can’t believe he is treating me like this, I am a high class woman and I know I deserve better the fact that I choose to be with him doesn’t mean I don’t have any other options.
Anyway, he will find me when he comes back and then all hell will break loose. I spend the next two hours drowning my sorrows in my bottle of wine eventually I fall asleep.
The next morning I awaken at the sound of my alarm clock, I quickly reach over to my nightstand and push the snooze button. I am not ready to get up I don’t feel like myself this morning, I have a pounding headache, I am sure it’s because of the wine that I drank last night.
“Beep! Beep! Beep!”
The alarm goes off again and this time I am forced to slid out of bed and hit the alarm button off. It’s a Sunday and we need to go to church, for me and my family church is a must. I don’t miss church for anything in the world, I was raised in a Christian family and I uphold my Christian values.
Fred didn’t come back home last night, where in God’s name did he sleep? I am gonna kill him when he comes back home, I just can’t tolerate this kind of behavior.
I grab my phone and dial his number but I get the same response- the number you have dialed is switched off. Anyway, I reach for my robe, slid on my slippers and head for the door. I walk down the hallway to the children’s bedroom so I can wake them up and prepare them for church.
“Talia,’ I shake her
“Huh,’ she turns
“It’s time for church my darling.”
“Can’t I sleep a little more,’ she asks in a sleepy voice
“No my darling, we don’t wanna be late for church.”
“Fine,’ she opens her eyes and yawns loudly
“Morning sweetheart,’ I say with a smile
“Morning mummy,’ Taylor reiterated
I turn my head towards her and find her sitting straight on her bed, wow that’s a first, Taylor woke up on her own, this girl gives me trouble every time I have to wake her up that’s why I usually let Fred handle them when going to school because her tantrums get on my nerves.
“I am glad you are up.”
She smiles, “I am a big girl.”
“I can see that.”
I bathe them and after bathing them I dress them up in some pretty blue dresses.
“I have to get ready to so after you finish eating just watch some television.”
I hurry back upstairs and walk into the bathroom to turn the shower on. I undress. After I get naked I jump in the shower and clean up. I get out of the shower, lotion up and slid on my outfit.
Standing in front of the mirror, I stare at my hair trying to figure out what I should do with it. Finally I brush through it and decide it to let it fall loose on my shoulders.
Then I grab my make up bag and apply some minimal make up on my face.
After one final glance in the mirror I am ready to go, I look elegant as usual. Sliding my feet into a pair of peach wedges, I walk out of my room.
“Girls let’s get going.”
Taylor walks up to me, “I spilt coffee on my dress,” she cries
I eye her from head to toe, she is all messed up. I am this close to losing it with her.
“Girl you are getting on my last nerve right now,” I grab her arm and lead her to the bedroom where I change her dress. A few minutes later we are on our way to church.
“Where is daddy?’ Talia asks
“Daddy had to attend to something.”
‘On a Sunday?’
‘Yes girl, on a Sunday,’ I snap at her and she keeps quiet.
We get to church eventually, I step out of the car open for the girls close the door and hold their hands. With a huge smile on my face, we match into the church.
“Tasha my darling,” The reverend’s wife greets me the minute I enter.
“Mummy,’ I smile back at her
“You look good.”
She laughs, “Like mother like daughter.”
She kneels down and kisses the girls on their foreheads, “how are you my princess?’
“Fine,’ they answer in unison
“And where is your husband?’
I clear my throat, “Fred is unwell.”
“Oh! What’s wrong?”
“He is down with Malaria.”
“Poor thing, you should have told me about this.”
“I didn’t want to bother you mum, I know you are a very busy woman.”
“Oh please, you know I always spare time for you and Fred when you need me.”
“I will call you next time.”
I am sitting in the pew of the church during the service, I keep staring at my phone every now and then hoping time will move faster, I have scores to settle with Anna.
She is the reason my husband has been acting up I need to put her in her place. After the preaching from the reverend, the room is beaming with excitement as people are singing and shouting praises to God.
I quickly stand up and start singing along with the congregation, I have to keep up appearances, I can’t have anyone suspect that things are not going well in my marriage.
The service ends on a high note with everyone testifying of the goodness of God. After the service I greet some of the members and then quickly get the kids.
Shortly after we are driving back home, as I pull up on front of my gate I find someone waiting for me, I step out of the car and realise its Fatima the new maid.
“Hello,” I say
The girls step out and I push the gate open, we walk in and head for the front door, I pull out my keys from my handbag and open the door.
“Come in,’ I say
She walks closely behind me as I lead her to the guest bedroom.
“This will be your room.”
“I guess you went through the form I gave you and you agree with the rules.”
“If you adhere to my rules then you and I will be good friends.”
“I am heading out so you prepare the girls some food to eat and start cleaning up.”
I say bye to the girls and head out. I get into my car and quickly drive towards the road the leads to Anna’s house. I get there a few minutes later because I was speeding.
Stepping out of my car, I march in and at the door I knock loudly.
Anna opens the door a few minutes later she looks as though she has just woken up. She yawns loudly and stares at me in surprise.
“You!” I scream
“Where is my husband?” I push past her and into the house.
“Tasha,’ she runs after me as I head up the stairs screaming and calling out Fred’s name. “Come out and face me you man whore.”
I search all the rooms to absolutely no avail but I am still convinced he is hiding somewhere in this house.
“Happy?” She asks when I walk back into the living room where Anna is sitting on her couch sipping on some wine.
I shake my head, “Where have you hidden my husband?” “You are paranoid,” she says
“Anna you need to find yourself a husband that way you will stop following mine.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Fred is my husband…,”
“And so?’ she cuts me short.
“Stay away from him,” I yell
She laughs, “I wonder what Fred sees in you, he can do better than this.” “Say what?”
“You don’t deserve that man you are a heartless bitch I hope he leaves you soon.” Upset, I march up to her and slap her hard across her face.
“You slapped me?”
“I will do more than that if you continue sleeping with my husband.” “Leave my house,” she points at the door. “Hule! Hule!” I scream
She shakes her head, “Find your own husband.”
“I will leave but this is not over.”
And with that, I walk out of the house.
DIARY OF A TORMENTED HUSBAND