BY RUTHIE LEE
“If you were in my shoes you’d totally be thinking too, yesterday Dessera told me she overheard
you and my mom conversation about me!”
Jason said and I paused.
“So…?” I tried to act like it was nothing.
“So?” he looked up at me with a scoff.
I bit my bottom lip and just stared at him. Yep this is so awkward.
He adjusted his body and his bed and laid down on the bed again.
“This is so embarrassing” he breathed out.
“What is so embarrassing?” I asked placing my hands on my hips.
“This, like right now, me lying on this bed, and you standing in front of me. You already finding out like I have feelings for you and me just finding out that you know I have feelings for you through my mom.” Jason sighed and placed the blanket over his head, maybe he doesn’t want to see me.
“You know what, I’m a bit thirsty, ill head down to get myself a glass of water, when I come back, please buckle yourself up for our lesson!” I said and started to walk towards the door. “I’m sick Elsa, can we just cancel today’s lesson and never even have any lesson again!” I heard Jason’s voice under his blanket.
I ignored him and walked out of his room.
Mrs. Huggins appeared in front of me immediately I came down the stairs.
“What happened in there? Did he talk to you?” Mrs. Huggins rushed her words.
“Yeah, he talked to me!” I sighed.
“Oh thank goodness and what did he say?” Mrs. Huggins seemed curious than ever.
Well it’s hard and painful to get ignored by your own child.
“Mrs. Huggins Jason’s got a fever!” I blurted out.
“What???” Mrs. Huggins sounded unbelievable.
“He didn’t sleep last night and he got himself a cold!” I expound.
“Why would he be up all night?” Mrs. Huggins held up a befuddled expression.
“Mrs. Huggins we were not careful, well we were, but Dessera heard our conversation about Jason and well she told him about it, and he’s been up all night thinking about it and he’s kind of… You know embarrassed!.”
“He shouldn’t be and Oh goodness Dessera,” Mrs. Huggins placed her palm on her forehead and let out a sigh.
“Should I cancel the lesson today?” i asked.
“No, of course not! That would make him feel worse!” Mrs Huggins protested.
“Okay but he can’t get out of bed, he’s cold, his body is burning up and he’s wrapped up in his blanket like some marshmallow!” I stated.
“Well I’ll call a doctor now so just go back up and think of a way you can tutor him!” Mrs Huggins said and i shrugged and starts to walk up the stairs.
So to wrap this up, Jason got sick because of me, well he was thinking of me all night and then got sick.
That means it’s because of me. This is awkward but why do I find it so… Ugh I can’t believe myself.
I walked inside Jason’s room and I found him by the window side staring at the sky.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I have no idea!” he replied not looking back.
“And there I was telling your mom how you can’t get out of the bed!” I said.
“And why would you tell my mom that?” Jason asked and turned around.
“Cause she’s worried about you!” I replied.
Jason looked at me for some time and then looked away without saying anything. He was lost in thought for a while and I just played along with his silence not saying anything too.
Honestly I don’t see why he should be embarrassed about any of this liking someone isn’t bad. Well in our case it’s awkward but still I am not blaming him or getting angry about, and I believe the feelings will pass. It’s all just with puberty, I’m a female and I do spend a lot of time with him, so I don’t see why he can’t fall for me.
I heard Jason’s sigh and I looked up at him.
His voice followed. “But it’s kind of embarrassing”.
“What? What is embarrassing?” I asked.
“All this, my mom! I can’t believe her, I didn’t know I’ll ever be so disappointed in her like this!” Jason grunt.
“Why will you be disappointed in her, she did nothing wrong!” I said sitting on his bed. “Of course she did do something wrong, why the hell will she butt her business into my business, just because she’s my mom doesn’t mean she has to do everything behind my back thinking it’s right and I’m okay with it, just like how she confessed my feelings to you, she told me never to confess but I can’t believe she went behind my back and told you what I was supposed to say, and now this situation feels so embarrassing I feel like dying!”
After angrily yelling Jason breathed in and out.
“Okay, well she did and that’s that, you can’t hate your mom, no matter how hard you try!” I tell him.
“Why are you acting all quiet about this.!” Jason yelled and I looked at him. “excuse me?” I titled my head in confusion.
“The fact that you’re acting like nothing is happening, the fact that you’re acting all cool sickens me, it’s making me lose my mind!” Jason yelled.
“Because nothing is happening Jason! I am cool because nothing is supposed to make me feel uncool, I don’t care if it sickens you!” I yelled back. He shut his eyes and opened them back again.
“I’m sorry!” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to yell and I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then how did you mean it?” I crossed my hand over my chest and then sat properly on the bed to face Jason.
He didn’t look me in the eye as he said. “The fact that you know I have feelings for you and yet you’re not saying anything about it” His voice was low but at least I heard it all..
“I am fully aware you like me but I don’t understand what you want me to say or do” I said and stood up.
I walked over to his study desk and moved his chair outward. “Come take a seat!” I tell him. Without asking why or hesitating, Jason walked up to the chair and sat down, and I took the other chair beside the chair and sat down to.
“Now we’ve both taken a seat, we can just drop this and continue with our lesson!” I tried to smile but he rolled his eyes.
At least he still have the strength to roll his eyes.
“I don’t have the strength to learn today and I’m sick remember!”.
“Are you happy that you’re sick?” I asked.
“Well… I Am, cause I won’t go to school either and won’t have any lessons with you too!” he smirked.
“Well that’s that! Maybe I should leave then.” I said.
“That is what I want but… But.
“But what?” I titled my head.
“Why won’t you say anything?” He asked.
I know I’ve been saying something since. But I understand what he’s talking about. I sighed “Honestly I don’t know what to say or what you expect me to say so…!” “But you’re not mad or disgusted right?” Jason said staring at the desk. “Mad about what? About you liking me?” I asked and he nodded.
“Okay so I find it a little bit awkward jason but I don’t see any reason to be mad or disgusted just because you like me. Every one deserves to like and to be liked, and honestly I’m flattered you like me, but you’ll get pass the feeling, bet me!” I assured him with a giving smile. He scoffed.
“Why are you saying this like it’s just a phase, I know what I’m doing… I Know what I’m feeling… And I know this is definitely a rejection!” Jason stated and shut his head at his last sentence.
I’m not rejecting his feelings neither am I accepting them. I’m just seeing them as a phase and trying to let him know that once I’m gone those feelings will die down immediately. “Glad you got my point” I smiled.
Jason let’s out a sigh and ruffled his hair. He glanced at me and then back at his desk.
“Why? Is it because you’re older? You’re just a year older and age doesn’t really matter!” Jason stated.
“It’s actually two years older, and well to some people age really does matter!” I said.
“And you are one of them?” Jason asked.
“Yeah you could say that!” I smiled. I don’t know if I’m one of them or not.
Does age really even matter?
“Okay great” Jason laughed bitterly.
“So I guess, it’s Neil then!” Jason said as low as possible.
I turned to him. “Actually it’s already Neil!” I said and his head tilt at me immediately. “Oh… You guys are already…?
“Yeah!” I nodded.
Jason remained quiet looking at the desk, he didn’t move or say a word and I realised I Just broke something.
“So can we just move on and start on today’s lesson?” I tried to lighten up the dying mood by sounding so cheerful
“Sorry but apparently I feel worst.” Jason said, stood up and walked up to his bed.
“So should I leave?” I asked.
“That would be best!” Jason said as he went under the covers.
“Okay then.” I sighed, stood up and grabbed my bag.
I walked up to the door and before opening the door I turned to him, though he covered himself with his blanket, all his body, didn’t know what was happening under the covers though but I know he would hear what I’ll say.
“Jason, your mom will be calling a doctor soon, so please just let the doctor treat you so your fever can die down, get better so we can continue our lessons and don’t forget we’re just teacher and student.” that was what I said before leaving.
Surprisingly I found Mrs. Huggins in front of the door outside Jason room and I gave a surprised look. She gave me a pitiful look and I asked. “What are you doing here?”
she placed her index finger over her lips and breathed out a shhh… She pulled my hand and dragged me down to the end of the hallway,
We appeared in front of a door and she pulled me inside immediately she opened the door. My jaw almost dropped of how big and beautiful the room was, the room two cushion decoration colour was black and white and everything in it looked expensive.
A huge picture was hung at the top of the bed and there was Mrs. Huggins and her husband. And I used to think Jason looked like his mother, now on second thoughts, you should see his father.
“Sit please!” Jason’s mother said and I sat on one of the cushion chairs.
She sat down beside me and breathed out.
“The reason why I was standing in front of Jason’s room was because I was eavesdropping on your conversations, and I know that is so wrong of me and now hearing all that, that Jason had said I feel so sad, I don’t know why I even decided to confess his feelings for you to you, that was stupid of me, he’s not a child and I shouldn’t have done that!” Mrs. Huggins said and pouted.
“Exactly Mrs. Huggins, Jason is not a child, for crying out loud he’s eighteen already and also even at twelve boys need the privacy they deserve, he doesn’t need you to pry in his business, he was really broken by what you did and he said he was disappointed in you!” I explained.
“I heard that part please don’t remind me. I just, the only reason I told you about him liking you was because I know you’d reject him and I wanted you to carefully reject it and also not feel surprised if he ever decided to come out to you with his feelings. But that was stupid of me, rejection is just rejection, be it nicely or badly, it’s the a reject, I could have let Jason do this on his own, I’m so sorry!” Mrs. Huggins sighed.
“You shouldn’t be apologizing to me Mrs. Huggins” I pimped, “You should carefully be apologizing to your son!”.
“Do you know I had Jason at sixteen?” Mrs Huggins started and wiped the corners of her eyes. “And people told me I won’t be able to take care of him that I wouldn’t be able to be a mother to him, that I would be too young for him, and that still gets into my head, that at all cost I want to do and be everything for Jason, I want to do every thing for Jason, his father still thinks Jason is an accident, I mean we both knew what we were doing at that time. And now He travels all the time leaving me and jason alone, and this makes me want to be there for Jason at all cost. So please don’t blame me too much for this, I don’t know what I’m doing! ” Mrs Huggins explained. “I understand you very well Mrs. Huggins and seriously caring mothers are the best and you’re actually one of them, but I also think it’s time you give Jason the privacy he needs!” I stated. .
BY RUTHIE LEE