Fri. Jul 12th, 2024

I got out of funmi’s office with my heart beating heavily and confusion written on my face. I began to reflect on my last conversations with funmi.

“She said I was full of energy?”

” She was smiling when she said it”

“Does that mean she was conscious of what happened?”

” Does that mean she wasn’t really drunk?”

” Does it mean she deliberately acted like someone who was drunk or high?”

” Was it that she acted drunk to lured me into s£xual intercourse?”

“Why was she asking me about who pull off her clothes?”

” It seems I’m a little bit safe”.

I got to the restaurant and ordered for a plate of rice for myself which I ate there, I also purchased a takeaway pack for funmi. I decided to call segun as I was leaving the restaurant.

ME: hello segun.

SEGE: how far onihaxy?

ME: I’m good. Funmi surprised me today.

SEGE: really? How?.

ME: she told me to see her in her office like an hour ago.

SEGE: hmmmmmm, what happened next?

ME: she started asking me questions.

SEGE: which questions?

ME: she told me that she couldn’t remember how she got home and she asked me. I told her that she was so drunk after taking 5 bottles of Guinness stout and I drove her to her house there after.

SEGE: is that all?

ME: no, she asked me the time I got to her house and the time I left, she asked me if I was the one that changed her cloths.

SEGE: yeeeepa!!!!!. So, what was your response?.

ME: I replied her that I dropped her in her bedroom when we reached her house and I slept in the living room before going home at 4:00am. She just smiled and called out my name saying “hmmmmm onihaxy!!!!!!!”.

SEGE: hmmmmmmmm.

ME: she later gave me a thousand naira to buy a plate of rice for her from the restaurant. As I stood up and was about to go out, she looked at me with a smile and said “onihaxy, you were so full of energy, now I know why you ordered for energy drinks”.

SEGE: *****laughed******* omo see checkmate!!!. She don get you and you have no where to run to.

ME: hmmm segun, but I’m a little bit confused. Does that means that she was concious of what happened?

SEGE: from that her checkmate statement, it’s so obvious that she was over concious. She just decided to take the beer to add more ginger to her swagga. She is a professional badoooo.

ME: hmmmmmmmmm.

SEGE: well, you have been initiated already, just enjoy it while it last.

ME: bad guy.

SEGE: how is betty?, and how far with adebimpe?

ME: betty is fine ooo, she spoke yesterday and she was talking about marriage.

SEGE: marriage as how?

ME: she said she want us to get married after her program in the UK.

SEGE: she has a point now. Do you still expect her to return to her father’s house?, remember that someone else had been planning wedding for her?, so she has no time to stay idle at home, not even now that her father already gave her out to his friend’s son.

ME: hmmmmmmm.

SEGE: yes ooooo. You guys should just plan it and start living together. Even if it is a registry wedding.

ME: hmmmm. But I was thinking that we should find a way of reconciling me with her father. I don’t like it how I wasn’t given a chance to meet or know her father. What if he decided to send hired assassin to eliminate me because I disrupt her daughter’s pre-planned wedding?.

SEGE: you are a coward jor. Her father can’t do anything to you but you have a point sha. You should get to meet your father inlaw. But do think its going to be a smooth thing?

ME: that was what betty said too. She said her father is very strict and stubborn, she said her father will never agree to terminate her engagement with the guy in abuja.

SEGE: hmmmmmm.

ME: but she said she will discuss with henry sha. I will also see henry and discuss with him.

SEGE: there is a simple solution to all these things now.

ME: what is the solution segun?.

SEGE: just fire some shots inside her and impregnate her straightaway, betty will then let her father know that she was pregnant for you and both doctors and pastor had issued warnings that she will die if she tries to abort the pregnancy.

ME: hmmmmmmmmm. Badt guy.

SEGE: Na so my guy. Cos if you lose that babe, na serious wahala oooo. You might not find her replacement again for life.

ME: yes sir.

SEGE: onihaxy, I think its high time you tune down on every other women. Start planning your matrimony with betty.

ME: ***laughed** I heard you oooo. Let’s chat later, I’m going back to the office.

SEGE: alright. ***hung up*****

I returned to the office and dropped funmi’s food on her table. Luckily for me, she wasn’t on seat when I got there. I returned to my desk and continued the work for the day until around 6:30pm when we closed for the day. I quickly cleared my table and I ran out of the bank to prevent funmi from seeing me, I just couldn’t face her for that day. I got into my car and drove home. At around 8:30pm in the night, my phone was ringing and I checked the screen, it was a call from benita and I picked it up.

ME: hello benita.

BENITA: hi onihaxy, its been a long time.

ME: abi oooooo

BENITA: how is work going?

ME: its going fine dear.

BENITA: onihaxy please, I need a favour from you.

ME: what is it?.

BENITA: I got an assessment test invitation this morning and the venue is lagos. The test will be holding on friday.

ME: waoooh. That’s good.

BENITA: thanks dear. Please, I don’t know if you can accommodate me for the duration of the tests.

ME: haba!!!!!, you are always welcome now.

BENITA: thanks onihaxy. I will arrive in lagos on wednesday and leave probably on sunday.

ME: no problem.

BENITA: make sure you stock your kitchen with food stuffs ooo. I don’t want to go hungry abeg.

ME: funny you.

BENITA: alright, I will call you later.

ME: ok dear

BENITA: bye ***hanged up*****

******chaii!!!!!!, another days of temptation*********

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