Chapter 36
Nwanne Ifeoma
Slowly and steady everything was falling into place.
The joy to become a wife and mother was a dream of very woman and that dream of mine will soon come to pass.
I understand that I am not as crazy about Kennedy the way I should be but I know once I become his wife it will change.
I will forget about ever loving Joe and focus on building my family and being a good wife and daughter in law.
Someone should have informed me on time that preparing for a wedding is a big deal. Although the wedding is in three months but the stress is beginning to kick in. Daddy insisted we attend marriage counseling before our wedding day because it will help us in understanding and learning about each other more.
There was something about today’s session that got me worked up. It was all about honesty and secret. The counselor advise we open up to each other about any secret we think that might bring issues in the marriage and be honest about it. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about the ever loving Joe and my past life. After the session I was so stressed out and numb. It was a complicated feeling and it was eating me up.
Kennedy dropped me at home before heading for his meeting. These days I feel like we hardly talk maybe because of this whole planning things but he is always there when the need arises, he is supportive and understanding. I wish I could love the way I should.
I feel so guilty because he loves me so much but it looks I am the one hiding so much from him.
I remember the Day Emily ask me if it possible we are in love with different people but are with someone else. I laughed over the question because I can’t bring myself to answer her. I made her believe it was silly thinking in that direction because we both are happy with the man we together with.
I sat on my makeup Chair and stare at myself in the mirror. The smile was off and fake. I know the truth that I will never make him happy but I am still fooling myself that time will change the way I feel. Looking at the beautiful diamond stone ring on my finger, I sigh !! turning the ring around, I gradually remove it.
“It very beautiful”….a voice said behind.
“I flushed at the sight of Joe in my room and the ring dropped.
“Such a beautiful ring must be handled with care and never be removed.
He said while bending over to pick the ring and gentle put back right in my finger and I just watch do so without pulling away from him.
“Perfect… just right where it should be..he said while walking towards the window.
Finally my mouth allowed me to mutter something out
“Joe who let you in my room?
“Do you know that you have an amazing view right here… wonderful, I can see so many beautiful place from this point…he ignored my question.
“I walked close to him and pulled him out from the window and ask him again what he is doing here this time with so much energy in my words.
“Geez… Ella you don’t need to yell, I am right in front of you.
“Can I at least seat down before answering your questions and answers. Maybe you can offer something since this is my first time coming to your house. He said while seating on my bed and crossing his legs.
This is crazy Joe if someone sees you up here in my room there will be war in paradise and my parents will have your head for dinner especially my Mom. I said while pulling him up from my bed and dragging him to that door.
Relax scary cat your Father gave me permission to come over since you won’t pick my call or respond to any of my texts.
My Dad..?
Yes, and do you know that man is such a great man and will make a good father in-law, he is very understanding and nice.
Now I know you are drunk. Joe are you going to tell me why you are here or we will talk about my Dad’s personality that I know.
Oh that right why I am here?
It true, so I heard you are in engage so I came to congratulate you on your engagement.
Thanks now will you leave…I said while pointing at the door for him to leave but just laughed and made him self more comfortable.
“I just got here and we still have to talk before I will gladly leave or are afraid you can’t control the chemistry between us and you might give in to what you actually need and deserve so much.
“Don’t be silly..I said while walking towards him and showing him the ring on my finger.
If you are blind but nothing will happen between us and like I told you before I love Kennedy and we will be getting married soon.
“You amuse me so much, it okay for you to try and convince your self about loving him but we two know that you love only me and you belong to me alone.
Emily loves you and you know that as well…so never hurt my friend because of this madness.
“Why do you always bring Emily up in our conversation….she can never love me
the way you do and you know I can’t love her the way I love you.
“Ella let end this misery and tell everyone the truth about how we feel, you know that this marriage will never make you happy so why going ahead with it.
“Joe, get out of my room and stay away from me.
How will you ask me to hurt my friend she loves you and you know that as well.
“Ella stop… Emily is not my girlfriend she was never mine. all those things was an act to make jealous and find out if you love me and it obvious you are still in love with me but you are too stubborn. You marrying him because you think that is the best decision but it the worst decision. You will ruin your life and his at the process. Please listen to me for a change and let start a new life together.
“Joe it a lie, and I know that Emily loves you she told me herself .
“She doesn’t love me, inviting me to her birthday party, meeting you it was all part of the plan.
When she resume work at my company, her personality was amazing. Something happened that she saw those pictures we took during our friendship days and she asked how I got them and if we know each other, I told her you were my lost love and how I have loved you secretly. She promised to help us reconnect when you return to Nigeria and that was when she started ranting about me not noticing her.
“Ella, plans changed when Kennedy ask you to become his girlfriend and you accepted, I wanted to know if you love him and yes I found out you still love me. I saw the jealous in your eyes when you see me with Emily. You need to stop fighting us and call off this engagement. I can not stop loving you and you know that.
I yelled at him to leave my room and this time he left.
Emily have so much to explain to me before I kill someone tonight.
TBC
Secret love