Wed. May 29th, 2024





“If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the smart woman will prioritize her dignity above all else.”


At a point when I was supposed to be out there chasing my own, I decided to build my life around Vashawn. He was god above it all, his word was my bread and I worshipped the ground that he walked on. I wish I had known earlier that all my efforts would never be reciprocated; I got to learn later in life that men only value things that they chase and are able to get afterwards. For me I offered myself to him on a silver platter more than once; I called, I texted, I whined, I was available



and if in the middle of the night he asked me to show up – you bet I did. The only thing missing were words printed on my forehead “We deliver without a charge too.”


We get home and I notice the driver’s car is not in the parking space reserved for his car, the kids rush out of the car but only Marsha my eldest remains.


‘Are you okay?’ she asks


I look at her; at fourteen she is wiser than most girls her age.


‘I am baby.’

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‘You cannot continue pretending like things are okay mum.’




‘I am not a child anymore, I am able to see things that Shawn and Laura can’t see.’ She says then walks out on me


I lean against the car, the tears that I have been holding back falling. This has been my greatest fear; my kids finding out how imperfect my life is.


When I am sure I am calm, I remove the boxes from the car and take them inside the house.


‘Mummy can we watch a movie?’ Laura the second asks


It has started drizzling outside and since we are not going anywhere, I agree it isn’t such a bad idea. So I ask them to change into comfortable clothes whilst I do the same then afterwards they can pick a movie.


I change into tights and a baggy t shirt then join them; they have removed two mattresses and laid them out in the living room with pillows. Nancy has popped us some popcorn.


‘What are we watching?’ I ask joining them on the mattresses



‘Moana.’ Laura and Shawn exclaim at the same time


I am not even surprised, we have seen it a number of times but it looks like none of them is growing out of it.


I look at Marsha who just smiles at me.


‘Don’t you want to watch something else?’


‘Whatever makes them happy.’ She responds with a smile


I smile back at her, making a mental note to take her out one of these days. Just the two of us to have our girl time.


We are not even half way into the movie and I can already hear Shawn and Laura sleeping peacefully, I smile at my little blessings. My life might be messed up as hell but I know I will always have all the joy in the world with them by my side.


I move close to Shawn and hold him tight before closing my eyes to sleep, after the sleepless night I had and the drama in the morning, I need all the rest I can get.




I call Bertha into the office when I can’t find anything on Michel on the internet.


‘Sir you called for me?’ she asks looking frightened


I am not even scared she is like that because I haven’t been the nicest employer to any of my employees.


‘Please take a seat.’ I say still pacing about


She hesitates


‘I won’t be nice twice.’ I say avoiding screaming


She sits


‘What do you about Michel?’


‘Which Michel?’


‘What do you know about Mrs. Acker?’ I ask with irritation


‘I am not sure what it is you want to know Sir.’


‘We went to see a Mr. Acker today, he was with his wife and they were trying to buy a house. What I don’t understand is how he is married to Michel and yet has another wife and how come Michel didn’t look surprised at the whole thing.’


She stands up and straightens her dress


‘I don’t think it is anywhere in my contract where I have to give you any one’s private information, if you have something to ask her, I believe you have her number.’ She responds then walks out of the office leaving me in awe


Without thinking I pick up my car keys and drive to Salama Park, I found her home address in my files and I have pinned it on my Google maps.


The gate is electronically controlled and so opens a few seconds after I get there, I am received by a lady at the entrance of the house. I must say I am quite impressed with the place.


‘Can I help you Sir?’ the lady asks


She is dressed in a house help’s uniform and I am guessing she works here.


‘Is this Mrs. Acker’s residency?’ I ask


‘Yes it is.’


‘I am her boss and was hoping to talk to her.’ I say


She looks at me from head to toe


‘Is she expecting you?’


‘Will you just tell her that Mr. Musondah is here?’ I say almost losing my temper


The door opens and a girl who looks like Michel comes out, I recognize her as her daughter from the family photo that was on her desk.


‘Aunty Nancy who is he?’


‘No one honey, he was just leaving.’


‘Tell your mother that Mr. Musondah is here to see her.’ I say


We all turn around when the gate opens, I notice how Nancy’s face changes but I don’t move.


The car drives in and parks just next to Michel’s.


‘We meet again.’ I say to Mr. Acker when he walks towards me He smiles, but I notice the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. ‘Hey Princess.’


‘Hey daddy.’ The girl responds as she hugs him


‘Is mummy in?’


‘She is sleeping.’


‘Why would she be sleeping this time?’


I note the irritation in his voice but just look on


‘You came to see her I believe?’ he asks looking at me



‘Yes I did.’


‘Please come in.’ he says


We walk into the house and the first thing that catches my eyes is how peaceful Michel looks as she lays there holding her youngest child, I am so lost in the moment that I don’t notice how the house help is looking at me disapprovingly.


‘Nancy offer him something to drink and please ask your madam to come to the bedroom now.’ Her husband says walking out.’


‘Ma’am.’ Nancy begins tapping her lightly


She yawns before opening her eyes


‘How long have I been sleeping?’ she asks lazily but her face changes when she sees me.


‘Mr. Acker wants to see you in the bedroom.’ Nancy tells her


Her face completely changes.


‘Take the kids to the mall for coffee.’ She says to Nancy


‘Whatever it is, I will call you.’ She says to me and walks away


I know I should leave but I decide to stay, something tells me to stay.






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