HURDLES
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(Unedited)
I wake up really early and prepare the kids for school, once done I wait for the driver to pick them up. When they are gone; I take a bath, Jayden called and asked me to go to his place once I got done with my morning chaos.
I wear a mustard off the shoulder dress and army green slippers. I drive off to his place and I am there in less than thirty minutes.
‘Good morning beautiful.’ He says once he opens the door
I look at him, avoiding the sweat that keeps dripping from his chest, he looks like he was waking out
‘You can make yourself comfortable in the bedroom, I got you pajamas.’
‘Pajamas?’ I ask
‘We are spending the day in bed.’ He responds
I smile afraid of what lies ahead
‘You look scared.’
‘I haven’t spent the whole day in bed in a very long time.’
‘Well am I not a lucky man?’
I turn around and stand on my toes reaching for his lips
He stands there waiting to see what I will do, I can barely reach them and he laughs before tilting his head to kiss me.
‘You taste like mint.’
‘My toothpaste.’ I respond smiling between his lips
He smiles
‘I will join you in a bit, let me just take a quick shower.’
He walks away after kissing my forehead
I go to his bedroom and find a cotton night dress, it is baby blue and really pretty. I remove my clothes, put them nicely in the closet and wear it.
‘Look at you.’
I smile, I didn’t even hear him come in to the room
‘You are done already?’
‘I am not spending the whole day in the bathroom knowing there is a beautiful and intelligent woman in here.’
‘Flattery will take you anywhere Jayden.’
‘I hope it takes me to your heart.’ He says coming to stand behind me
I smile when I feel his hands wrap around my waist.
‘I was scared I had lost you.’
‘Oh yeah?’
He turns me around
‘They are a lot of perfect woman out there Michel, women that might go out of there way maybe to have me but they will never be the kind of woman I want to do life with.’
‘You are flawed perfectly; you make your scars look beautiful. You wear your crown with dignity and I am glad you don’t remove any jewelry from it just to make lighter for anyone to carry.’ He adds
‘Jayden.’
‘Allow me to love you Michel.’
‘A day at a time Jayden, I don’t want to force anything. I have been broken to pieces to allow words to move me.’
‘Then will you allow my deeds to show you just how deeply I want this to work?’ ‘Do your thing.’ I say moving away from his grip and getting on the bed
He joins me in the beddings and we lay there my head on his chest. ‘Did you always want to be a realtor?’ he asks touching my hair
I laugh lightly
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know anyone in my circle who did anything different from what they always wanted to be, so I am just making sure.’
I sigh
‘I studied banking and finance.’
He lifts his head to look at me better
‘And you are a realtor.’
I chuckle
‘Being in love with the wrong person can make you do things you wouldn’t in your rightful mind.’
‘Things like what? Changing your profession?’
I sigh
‘I was in love with Vashawn, I loved him beyond the grave and I was going to do whatever it took to just be recognized in his eyes.’
I pause thinking of how I threw my dreams under the bus
‘I wanted to be a banker, to be big. To make headlines, I wanted to be the kind of woman that my daughters would be proud of, the kind of woman my sons would look at and be proud to introduce to their women. But then Vashawn happened, he didn’t believe I could make it in the banking sector. Even after passing with really good grades he still managed somehow to look down on myself, he said it times without number that I wouldn’t make it until I started to believe him. My dreams were put on hold, my life was put on hold. Just everything about me was put on hold to be the perfect wife.’
I don’t even realize that tears are falling from my eyes
‘I really don’t blame him for all that, yes he did play a role but at the end of the day it was all on me. I did this to myself. I allowed myself to stoop so low all in the name of being Mrs. Acker.’
I smile after saying that.
‘His name made love to my tongue each time I said it, I wanted to be Mrs. Acker so bad. I wanted to take care of him, to have his babies, to clean after him. I wanted to be everything other wives were not.’
I swallow the lump on my throat
‘The mistake I made was thinking that being his wife meant everything would be rosy but I had another thing coming, Vashawn had his own life away from mine. At first he tried to pretend but as months went by then came years and his truest of colors came out.’
‘It wasn’t a pretty sight, I had seen all the red flags but I guess red was my favorite color.’ I add and he kisses my hair
‘Did he ever apologize though?’
‘Vashawn?’ I ask
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‘Yes.’ He responds nodding his head
‘There was one time, the only time we ever went out for drinks together. After leaving the place we drove to a quiet area and just sat in the car and he actually apologized for all the wrongs he has done and I told him it was the alcohol speaking. He said he was sorry. For the first time I felt a rush of different hurts that had been caused to my heart, the sleepless nights. The time I spent taking care of the kids and this is a man that had left me hanging and he wanted me back, the whole of me.’
‘And?’
‘I had nothing left to give him and I almost felt sorry for him because at the time he was trying to be a better man but you don’t treat people like trash and come back whenever you feel like. Each moment I allowed him to hurt me was a part of me walking away. He told me he had bought a 12 hectares farm and put it in my name but I long wanted his love and affection not material stuff, that wasn’t going to make up for the wasted years.’
Jayden holds me tight.
‘So yeah, I had to look out for myself and the kids and that is how I found myself working as a realtor. At first it was for the money until I admitted that I actually enjoyed and loved the job.’
‘And you love it?’
‘I do.’ I respond honestly
‘I am glad you do.’
‘What next? Now that you are not working?’
‘I have been looking at different places trying to see openings.’ ‘I know a lot of people, I could help you get a job.’
I smile
‘I really appreciate but this is something I want to do alone.’ ‘If you do consider it I will be here waiting to help you.’ ‘Alright.’ I respond moving closer to him ‘Michel really?’
I bite my lower lip and touch his toes with mine ‘I am not promising you a happy ending.’ ‘But?’
‘A journey worth taking.’
I smile
‘God I can’t hold on any longer.’
‘What?’ I ask and he comes on top of me then crushes his lips on mine passionately
‘Jayden.’
‘Allow me.’ He responds
..
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