SHADES OF LUST
Episode 30
‘’so what now?’’ Pamela asked as we headed back to her house minutes later. I shook my head and shrugged silently. The events of the past few days were really getting on me. I never imagined my life would be so dramatic. I just had a lot to resolve and the funniest thing was that I had no idea on how to tackle them.
‘’I will take a night bus back to my school. I never planned staying this long. I have a lot to do in school’’ I replied softly.
‘’that means you won’t be staying for my birthday celebration tonight?’’ she asked after few minutes of silent. I gave her a very long searching look.
‘’you have a husband and I think he is in the best position to celebrate with you. Moreover I still find it a bit odd on how you courageously brought me to your home without minding that your husband or any of his aides could show up at the house’’ I muttered searchingly. She kept quiet and never said another word until we got to her house later in the day.
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I took a night bus back to Owerri that fateful evening. My head, my conscience, everything was in complete disarray. I had no solid plans for my future and I couldn’t help but wonder how my life would turn out in the coming years.
Tracy was the only good thing I had. The only good thing I could boast of having, but then I knew our relationship could end any moment. I knew my affair with Pamela would burst out fairly soon and I knew Tracy would never forgive or continue with our relationship once that happens. Everything has its boundary, including love.
It really was my entire fault. I was too stupid to be carried away by lust and the price was about costing me my future, my happiness.
‘’God help me’’ I prayed as the bus sped into the night.
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I got to my hostel by 6:05am the next morning and first headed to Tracy’s room to check on her. I met my girl depressed and moody. At first my heart jumped out of guilt but I carefully controlled my nerves.
‘’you don’t look too happy to see me. What’s wrong?’’ I asked breathlessly.
‘’my mother called yesterday night to inform me that the manager of the company I applied for my industrial training in Enugu wants me to resume in two days. And I have no choice than to travel home today. We may end up not seeing each other for three months or more’’ she muttered solemnly, relieving the tension in me with her words. I breathed deeply, smiled and hugged her.
‘’I can be visiting every weekend. Enugu isn’t very far from here’’ I reassured her softly.
‘’I know but secondly I keep having this nightmares, especially whenever I sleep alone. I just can’t explain it but I have this fear that our relationship will not last long. Maybe my head is just playing tricks on me or something. But the fear is so strong. I don’t know why I feel this way’’ she complained while I closed my eyes, held her and kissed her forehead.
‘’ I already know everything about you and I don’t think there is anything that can break us up. I don’t just know. Maybe I’m going crazy or maybe I feel this way because it’s my first relationship’’ she continued like a terrified child. I softly caressed her back, bent and kissed her neck.
Deep down I was scared as well. I had many secrets. My life of crime with Kelvin and my unwanted child with Pamela were one hell of a secret that could blow up any moment and my poor Tracy was just in the middle of it.
‘’nothing will ever break us apart my love. We have just one year to graduate and another year for our youth service. We will get married and head over to the states to start a family. There is nothing to fear. Nothing could possibly happen to break us up in two years’’ I reassured her softly. She looked up at me with eyes filled with love, care and hope. I swallowed hard and looked away with guilt.
‘’dear lord, I don’t want to lose her’’ I prayed.
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**Kelvin’s side of the story continues**
4pm, same day.
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I was busy with my computer, arranging and setting up formats for a new deal I planned pulling with Jude when Jessica walked into my sitting room with a very serious look. I wasn’t expecting her because she never told me she was coming over and the frown on her face gave a bad signal to me.
‘’please who are you exactly?. Why did you show up in my life?’’ she asked, throwing me off balance with the question. I stood up and searched her with my eyes. I just couldn’t say a word because I really didn’t know from which angle she was coming with the questions.
‘’cut the innocent look my friend. I told you when we met for the first time that I worked in a bank, a big bank for that matter. I equally told you I knew many people. Do you think I won’t check up on you or on your source of wealth?. I now know for a fact that you are not into any transport business but the curious thing is that your bank accounts keep growing from suspicious transactions and deposits. I did a lot of digging up. I even know the bank officials that approve your transactions. So my question remains, why me?. Why did you appear in my life?. I want answers now?’’ she demanded furiously. I shook my head with disbelief.
‘’how the hell did you get my bank details?. Are you sure you know what you are talking about?’’ I stammered, visibly shaken. She scoffed and eyed me.
‘’I guess you underestimated me?. You better talk now my friend. I never got to this level in my life by being a dunce. Everyone has a skeleton to hide but yours is way too much Kelvin. Why are you in my life?’’ she demanded furiously, waiting for answers I wasn’t ready to give.
However one thing was certain, Jessica was much more than what I thought her to be and I couldn’t help but feel that she was getting ahead of me in the game. She could end up roping me to a corner and sending me to the gallows.