HURDLES
Epilogue
No one said we are all guaranteed a happily ever after, no one said we are going to have a fairytale ending. Some people have it easy in life whilst another part has known nothing but suffering.
I sigh deeply with my legs in the pool as I think about the events that have occurred the past one year; if you have never gone through a divorce, don’t for once think that it is as easy as drinking soup. For me it wasn’t that Vashawn had chosen a life away from me that hurt me, it was that he had moved on so fast without even thinking about how I would feel about it or the kids.
I spent thirteen years of my life trying to be the perfect wife, I gave up most of my dreams so that as a couple we would finance his. But even so he never for once took time to appreciate my efforts, when the time came he threw me under the bus and got on with his life. That hurt, I wanted to know why he would do what he did to us. But if I say I was surprised that he chose that road, I would be lying.
I saw the signs, first it was the evidence of his cheating ways through the feminine scents. Then the smudges of lipstick and mascara on his shirts, each time I cried as I did the laundry because I knew I was slowly losing him. Then the late night calls, the messages, his smiles each time a notification popped up on his phone, the silent settings on his phone. I saw it all but I chose to ignore it thinking we would make it work.
He stepped on me, not once, not twice but more times than I can remember and each time he came up with another excuse why he had played villain. Vashawn
managed not just to toy with my emotions but my entire life, up to now I still can’t understand why one man can take another’s sun and turn it ice cold.
I tried, really I did and there is nothing in my right mind that I didn’t do just to make sure that my kids grew up in a stable home. But the more I invested the more he withdrew, for each hundred he took a hundred forth more and we were running on deficit – metaphorically speaking.
I picked myself up, I built from the ground up. I did for me what I should have done a long time ago, I loved myself enough not to allow anyone to walk over me. I loved myself enough to know what I deserved and it didn’t feel or look like Vashawn and when life kicked him in the nuts, he thought he could just come back and ask that we pick up from where we left. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of being the one that got away and later came back; no I wasn’t going to be the modern father and him the prodigal son.
He has been taking his medication, at first his body resisted but now he looks much better. He has been eating healthy and working out, am told he even joined a support group. Time and again he has begged that we try and work things out but I am done and hopefully someday he will understand that it took a lot of time on my knees in order to move on. I can’t mock God by going back to what I prayed that he must deliver me from.
I smile as I look at Valerie and Coldy laugh their lungs out, they make a beautiful couple. They are so in love it rubs off on everyone that has met them, they had their marriage blessed six months after he proposed. It was so beautiful, an event of less than thirty people being only their close friends and relatives.
Marsha is in the pool with Laura and Shawn, these three are my life and God knows I don’t know where I would have been without them. For each battle I almost gave up on they were enough reason to rejuvenate my spirit.
I swallow hard as Jayden walks towards me shirtless, I don’t know what I did right but God sure did a number on me. He has been everything a girl could ask for, he has been supportive, and he has walked with me on days when my divorce hit me hard. He has been understanding, ever loving and rebuking me when I went astray but of course doing it with love.
He smiles at me and I can’t help but smile back.
‘You have been staring.’ He accuses giving me his hand
I hold on to it then get up from where I was seated
‘You are beautiful, you know that?’
‘I am?’ I ask like a little girl
‘Of course you are Mrs. Chanda.’ He says
I smile and look at my ring, who would have thought that I would accept to be his wife. I didn’t even hesitate to say yes when he asked two weeks ago, we immediately went to civic centre for our certificate then later had the marriage blessed in church. Later on wards we had lunch at home, I didn’t want anything fancy. Just my loved ones with me.
‘You know if you ask I will throw you a huge wedding right?’
‘How about you explore my body?’ I ask instead
‘You are one naughty girl Mrs. Chanda.’
‘You spoilt me Mr. Chanda.’ I say with a huge grin on my face
‘God I love you.’ He says kissing me hard on the lips
‘And I love you.’ I respond
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