#EMOTIONALLY_DETACHED
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I was going to drive back home but I decided I needed to pay my sister a visit, yes I had messed up and this would haunt me for the rest of my life but we were blood and sooner or later she just had to accept that it had happened and there was nothing the both of us could do about it.
I used the same route I had used when getting to the bar and soon enough I had connected into great east road and I was driving towards her place in Avondale. I knew she was angry, probably disappointed but I told myself that one way or the other she just had to forgive me.
I took a deep breath when I drove into the yard, this place always felt like home but today I was totally freaking out. Stella was the sweetest person I ever knew but she could also move from being sweet to being angry and a totally different person and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to see that side of her.
I knocked once at the door and let myself in, she was on the phone laughing when I walked in but her facial expression totally changed when she saw me and I knew just then what to expect.
‘Hey.’ Her husband said appearing from the bedroom ‘Hey man.’ I said with little energy in me
‘Sorry I can’t stay with you, I have work that I need to attend to.’ He said going over to kiss Stella lightly on the lips, she giggled.
On other days I could have admired what they shared but it was gone. I had messed up a good relationship and so I had to bear with whatever life had to offer me. ‘What do you want?’ Stella asked immediately she got off the phone ‘Wow, that is the best way to find out how I am doing?’
‘Stephen I do not care if you are breathing or not, what I want to know is what you are doing here.’ She said strongly
‘Stella I know you don’t mean any of that, about me breathing or not.’ ‘Look me in the eye and tell me that I am joking.’ She said
I dropped my gaze, it was only now that I realized just how much I had hurt her. ‘Should I repeat myself? What are you doing here?’
‘Stella please we can’t honestly stay angry at each other forever.’ ‘We?’ She laughed a little
‘You must be joking right?’
I looked at her bewildered
‘You have no right whatsoever to be angry at me but I have every reason to.’ She said banging her hand on the table
‘Leave my house.’ She said again pointing her index finger to the door ‘Stella.’
‘Stephen I said leave my house.’ She repeated
I stood up slowly and walked over to the door but stopped half way. ‘I know you are angry but can I know exactly why?’ ‘You are honestly asking me that silly question huh?’
‘Just answer me Stella and I promise I will never bother you again. Is it about
Camy?’
She laughed
‘You must be a fool to think that this is about Camy.’ ‘Then what is it about?’ I asked almost begging
‘You are even a much bigger fool than I thought you were.’ Her words touched a muscle.
‘Stella I might have made unpopular decisions but I still remain your older brother and you will give me the respect I deserve.’
She looked at me intently as if calculating her next words carefully.
‘This is not about Camy Stephen, this is about you. You had everything that a man could ever want in his life time but because you couldn’t control yourself you destroyed everything in the blink of an eye. You allowed your manhood to control you.’
I raised an eyebrow
‘Stephen you might be my elder brother but this time around you have messed up real bad and it will take a while before you gain my respect again. You have destroyed your life by tying yourself to someone you don’t even love. Look at how miserable you look now.’ She said pointing at me
‘That is what all of you are missing, Raquel and I plan on divorcing after the baby is born.’ I said getting a little excited
She laughed
‘I see you have totally lost it, now get out of my house.’ ‘What?’
‘Stephen you heard me, so what were the both of you thinking? That is a child we are talking about. A human being for crying out loud, one with blood running through its veins.’
‘Stella how many people have grown up without their parents?’
‘I honestly don’t know who you are anymore, do you think those people given a chance to pick a different life they would choose to be brought up by people other than their parents? Do you think they chose that lifestyle?’
‘Wait so what are you saying? That you want me to stick with someone that I don’t love for the rest of my miserable life because we having a baby?’
‘What were you thinking when sleeping with her? And you better not tell me it was just s£x because at your age you should know the necessary precautions to take.’ ‘You know what Stella, coming here was a worst of time. I could have been doing better things right now.’
‘Yes like making more babies you won’t even raise.’
I don’t know what came over me but I went to where she stood and slapped her real hard, by the time I was realizing what I had done some tears were dropping from her eyes.
‘Stella.’ I said trying to touch her face
‘Leave Stephen and never come back.’ She said in the most hurt voice
I really wanted to stay back and tell her just how sorry I was but in that moment I knew that the damage had already been done and there was nothing more I could do.
I looked at her one last time then walked out of her house then drove out, this was it. I had lost her and there was nothing that I would do that would bring back the friendship and bond that we once shared
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