I pull into dad’s drive way and get out of my car. I wipe my tears on my sleeve and try to compose myself before I walk down the sidewalk towards the front door.
Stopping before the door, I suddenly feel hesitant to go in. I shut my eyes for second to gather enough strength before I fling the door.
‘Hello,’ I ask, questioning if anyone is there
‘Zaria!’ Dad appears from the living room to welcome me he has a large smile on his face.
I take hurried steps towards him. He opens both his arms wide open and takes me into them, wrapping me in a huge bear hug.
‘It’s to see you baby,’ he says ‘And how are you?’
‘I am okay pappy? I missed you a whole lot.’
‘And I missed you my darling, you have been scarce,’ he points an accusing finger at me. ‘Work, work, work,’ I smile
‘You should be finding time to visit your old man kiddo this house isn’t the same without you.’ ‘Soon you are gonna have a son and he will be running all over the house.’
‘You will always be my baby girl,’ he holds my hand and ushers me into the living room where Precious is lying on the couch with her legs on the coffee table.
‘Hi,’ I smile at her causally
‘Well, look what the cat dragged in,’ she smiles back at me
I stare at her as she stands looking sweet as she is. She is a plus-sized woman. I look at her small tummy that is barely even showing a bump.
‘I haven’t started showing yet,’ she says as if reading my mind.
I silently smile.
When she gets close to where I am standing, she startles me as she envelops me in an embrace, ‘It’s good to see you hun,’ she says
‘And it’s good to see you too mother,’ I say mockingly
She bursts out laughing as she pulls away from me, ‘Oh please.’ ‘I am trying to be a respectable child here,’ I say ‘Spare me the drama,’ dad responds
‘Sit down honey, what can I offer you?’ she asks
‘Water will do,’ I respond
‘Okay,’ she walks to the kitchen and comes back a minute later with a glass of water which she hands ti me.
‘Thanks,’ I respond. I take a sip and place the cup back on the table.
‘So why didn’t you go for work? What’s happening? Dad asks as soon as we all settle down.
I clear my throat wondering if I should tell him the truth.
‘Well I wasn’t feeling too well this morning.’
He sips his whiskey and looks at me deeply, ‘What is going on Zaria.’
As he looks at me he leans forward in his chair with elbows on his knees and hands clasped.
‘Are you pregnant?’ he asks
‘What?’ I laugh
‘Because if you are pregnant I will kill you right this minute,’ he says
‘Dad relax, I am not pregnant.’
‘I am ears.’
I take a deep breath, ‘Wesley broke up with me,’ I finally let it out
‘He what? Dad jumps out of his chair.
‘Apparently he impregnated another woman and he wants to marry her before she gives birth.’
He slams the glass down, his face full of anger and his mouth wide open with shock.
There is an awkward silence for a moment- There is a tension in the air.
‘I warned you about that boy, I told you not to move in with him and now you see the results of your action. You were there playing wifey & he was out there looking for something new. Tell me why would he buy a car when he could the milk for free?’ He asks
I decide to remain silent
‘You gave up too much only to end up with heartaches and disappointments,’ he says disappointment evident in his voice.
His words struck me like a slap in the face, truth hurts I guess, I shouldn’t have moved in with Wes.
‘Five Years! Five good years and you walk away with nothing,’ he shakes his head
My lips quiver while tears flood my eyes as I stare back at him.
‘Don’t even cry, isn’t this what you wanted?’
‘Baby, take it easy on her,’ Precious says
‘You know what? I feel like I have failed her as a father, I shouldn’t have allowed all this nonsense. I know how much she loves that imbecile and this will break her just look at her.’
‘I am sorry,’ I say
‘Come here,’ he says
I stand up and walk to him, he wraps his arms around me and I lay my head on his shoulder letting the tears pour, ‘It’s gonna be okay,’ he says
‘I am sorry daddy,’ I whisper
‘It’s not even your fault, Wesley is an imbecile and I will deal with him for messing with you.’
‘You did what you had to do Wesley there is no need crying over spilt milk,’ his sister says
‘I just feel like I messed up her life big time, Zaria built her whole world around me you know?’
‘It wasn’t your fault, you were not obligated to marry her all because she helped you, it doesn’t work like that.’
‘I know I just feel guilty.’
‘Stop feeling guilty, you have Lulu and the baby to focus on,’ she smiles, ‘I can’t wait to be an auntie.’ ‘And I can’t wait to be a father, speaking of Lulu when do you think I should propose?’
‘Soon, the sooner you do it the better, so that you have enough time to plan for the wedding before the baby is born.’
‘That’s a good idea, besides I already bought a ring.’
‘Yes I bought it when she got pregnant.’
‘That’s wonderful news then.’
‘I just hope Zaria will forgive me for this.’
‘Wes, mulabeko (Forget) Zaria, she is in your past now, she will move on trust me.’ ‘Hopefully.’
‘Trust me she will, anyway I better get going, I need to buy mum some foodstuffs before I head home.’ ‘Okay pass my regards.’
‘Bye,’ she stood up and walked out.
I bow my head to the ground and drown myself in deep thoughts, I love Lulu and I am glad she is having my child but I feel bad for Zaria, I know she is broken.
The look in saw in her eyes this morning made me weak, she doesn’t deserve to be going through this, if I could un-break her heart and carry her pain, I swear I would but there is nothing I can do.
Anyway maybe it wasn’t meant to be like my sister said, I just hope she heals from this and forgives me.
A gambling Heart