CHAPTER 43
.
Jacqueline’s POV
.
I let out a loud sigh as I emerged from the stairs the next morning. Yesterday night
have been one of my bad nights. Apart from Allan’s trouble I couldn’t stop thinking
about Nicholas and what I did to him.. He’ll be so disheartened and somehow I
didn’t have a good rest last night because of the thought.. I kept tossing and
turning, thinking about Nick and how he must be feeling. It’s probably the first
time he got rejected by a girl.. It would be discouraging and I hope this doesn’t
make him give up on love. I only did what was right, at least to me.. I just saved
him from a future heartbreak that’d be worse than this.. I don’t even know what I
feel but I know Nicholas is someone I don’t want to lose, he’s like a vital family to
me.. He’s a great guy and he deserves someone better than me.. If only he
understands that I did this for him too. I hope he doesn’t see me as a bad person.
“Hey girl” Martha hovered over me and I sighed “what’s up you? You look like
you didn’t get even a wink of sleep”
That’s because I didn’t.
“I did have a wink, trust me” I said, opening my locker.
“Nicholas was here earlier” she said, making me flinch and my books dropped from my hand unconsciously. I gave her a sharp stare. “Did he say anything?”
Her brows cocked at me before she bent, picked up my notes and dropped them in my palm.
“I don’t know why you’re acting freaky over what I said but yes, he did say something” she said.
“C’mon Mart just spill it already.. What did he say?”
“Uh he only said that he wanted to talk to you and left after I told him you haven’t arrived yet but I saw all epitome of disappointment in his expression after I told him”
“Did he say why he wants to talk to me?”
“He didn’t say anything else, he just walked away” she said “He didn’t say anything? You’re sure about that?”
“Why are you acting so paranoid.. Don’t tell me you’re still hiding your feelings and avoiding him”
I breathed out and arranged the books in my hand, into my locker.. I shut my locker door before turning to face Martha..
“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I have an headache” I said, slipping the book in my arm..
“Whatever.. So how’s your group project going? There’s just today to the D-day”
“It’s going great. We’re just putting a last touch on. Yours?”
“Pretty good. I’m positive we’re winning this cos ours is so creative and out of this world” she exaggerated.
“Mmh.. I can’t wait to see your flying terrace” I joked and she gave me a playful glare, making me gesture surrender.
I didn’t see Nick until school was over, Martha, Lance and I had just come out of the school building when I sight Nicholas getting into his car.. My gaze stayed on him without him noticing; he got into his car and drove out. I watched his car slowed out of the school compound.. I focused on going home.
Getting home, I showered, pulled into my normal random wears and made Allan’s lunch, I grabbed my workbag and dashed out of the house. As I drew closer to Nick’s apartment, I couldn’t help but feel how fast my heartbeat increased.. I was getting totally nervous. I took in quick breathes, encouraged myself with some words and pulled a side of the gate before walking in..
I got to the door and rang the bell with a sweaty palm.. Nick opened the door and without a word stepped aside for me to come in. I walked in with a faux lopsided smile and he closed the door..
“I need you to tidy up my room before we start our project. It’s a mess” he said without any expression and walked away. I watched him until he left, feeling a little confused, I pulled my bag down and walk to his room.. Truly it is a mess but not so much.
I started by folding up his laundry and arranging them in the closet.. After a few more things, I mopped the room and took the dirty water to the bathroom. I came out of the bathroom and moved the small shelf that I found in his room, it was as if the books called me to them.. I started checking the books out.. Gifted Hands by Ben Carson. I read the heading on one of the books.
I didn’t know Nick reads motivational books too.. I smiled a little and ran my hand through the neat pages of the book.. I dropped it carefully and took another book, still by Ben Carson.. I was about dropping it in the shelf when the creak of the door opening filled my ear and ignorantly, the book fell from my hand and I swiftly tilt my head to the door to see Nick’s head popping in through it. His gaze first moved from me to the book on the floor then back at me.
“Lance is here and we’re about to continue the project” he said with a blank face and his head slowly disappeared before the door closed. Is he talking to me this way on purpose?
Gosh he must still be hurting.. This is probably affecting him more than I think.. I hope he doesn’t get too emotional about it cos he seem to be acting fine now and even though I can’t picture his inside, I’m sure his heart must be shattered. Nick is really fragile on the inside and I hate myself to know that he’ll be that way again because of me..
I need to talk to him about this, even though I can’t accept him, I have to give him reasons why so he doesn’t spend the rest of his life staying alone because of me. I hate myself for doing this to him.
I quickly yet neatly put the book back in the shelf and walk out of the room. Lance was already on a spread out blanket, eating a bag of chips.
“Hey Jackie” he waved. “Nick said you were in the bathroom when I arrived”
“Um yeah.. What’re you doing and where’s Nicholas?”
“I’m having a snack and checking if we missed anything on our bike creation but we didn’t.. So our project is done and ready to be presented tomorrow” he said. “Oh.. That’s great and Nick?”
“He just walked out, he didn’t say anything to me” he answered and I nodded slowly.
I sat beside him on the blanket, absent mindedly touching our project while
thinking of Nicholas.
.
Nick came In few minutes later while Lance and I laughed at a funny skit he played on his phone. Nick averted his gaze from us and sat a little bit farther from us, he dropped a box of pizza before him, opened it and took out a slice..
“You can have some if you want” he said and Lance grabbed a slice.
“Thanks but I’m full. Do you want some milk?” I asked and Nick’s brow cocked at me. “It’d really go well with the pizza and besides you like taking your pizzas with milk” I said a little awkwardly and before he could say anything, I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I returned later with a bottle of milk and a cup.. Lance gave me a questioning look but I ignored him and poured some milk into the cup and pushed it to Nicholas.. Nick pulled his gaze away and thanked me under his breath.. I sighed softly and balanced on the blanket..
I’ll do anything to make us go back to how we used to be.. I mean before he confessed his feelings to me.
As Lance and Nick ate, Lance interested us with some info about the bike while Nick talked about how our tomorrow’s presentation will be, he also picked Lance to be our group speaker. Lance brought idea for a group outfit out and even though Nick was against it at first, he finally accepted a little design on our clothes.
After we got our bike in Nick’s storage room, Lance parked up and I picked my bag up..
“Jackie.. Are you leaving now? I can drop you off” he said.
“She’s not going now” Nick said before I could talk and we gave him a stare..
“He’s right. You can go ahead, I’ll leave later” I said.
Lance shrugged an okay, I’ll see you in school tomorrow, he backed his backpack and walked out.
I started feeling nervous, realizing that only Nick and I were left in the room, slowly, I turned to him and his gaze was on me too..
“Do you have something to say to me?” He asked and I moistened my lower lip before partly looking at him.
“Um.. Yeah” I said “I.. just want to apologize about yesterday an–
“Wait. Before you continue, I have something to show you” he said and took my palm. An electric like feeling ran past my feet upward and unwillingly I let him take me to wherever. He opened the door that leads to the backyard and we arrived at the garden.. I gave him a questioning look but he just led me to a bench that laid In the middle of the garden. Where the beautiful plants were visible and the nice smell emanating from it close and wonderful. He slowly made me sit on the bench and he relaxed beside me. I fumbled with my hands on my laps as I gave him a small look; feeling totally nervous.
“Uh w-why did you bring me here?” I asked him after a brief silence.
“To show you this” he said and I thought he was referring to the garden or the pretty flowers but he suddenly started unbuttoning his shirt and my eyes flew open in alarm after he has pulled off the first four buttons.
“W-what are you.. doing?” I stuttered my question and he chuckled slightly. “Relax. It’s not what you’re thinking” he said and I gulped and look away as he continued unbuttoning his shirt..
“What? You haven’t seen a shirtless guy before?” He asked and I was glad the
humors were coming back.
“Um it’s–
My voice trailed off when my gaze moved to his naked stomach.. My eyes popped open as I gazed at the big thick and dry scar on his side that ran vertically from his upper stomach to his waist and horizontally from his side to his navel.. A loud gasp escaped from my lips and I went speechless
“It’s the scar from the accident. The one I had when I was little, the one that
changed me” he narrated and my eyes flew to him.. I gulped down the lump
hanging on my throat.
“I-I didn’t know it was this…big” I said softly.
“It was actually more than this, some parts got faded off”
“Does it still hurt? Can I touch it?”
“It doesn’t hurt and sure you can touch it” he said and I let my fingers run around the rough scar..
“It feels like a deep wound”
“It’s deeper than you can imagine” he said.. I pulled my hand away and gave him a look..
“But.. Why are you showing me this now?” I asked. His gaze came to me then he looked ahead.
“When I had this accident, I thought I’d die. And then I somehow became alive and realized I was infected with a rare monster-like disease.. I thought it was the end of the road for me and then mom left and Jason started threatening and mocking me cos of my disease, I had no reason to keep living.. Well except for my dad but there was a time when I actually placed a knife on my wrist, wanting to end it all. Everything made me feel like I could never love nor be loved” “Nick that’s not the reason why I–
“I know. If it was then you’d have left me in the beginning after you found out about my disease. I just want you to know that the same way my disease changed me, you instigated a change in me too.. In who I am and what I think.. In my mentality.
If you hadn’t been here, in my life then I’d probably still be that guy that wants to stay away from everyone, that loner that is somehow scared of crossing Jason’s path, the guy that lives a boring life and try to act like it’s fun, the guy that never believes that he could fall in love despite his disease. You showed me the human traits that I never thought I had.. You created a new me” he paused and I didn’t know when my eyes got misty, I stared at him with so much emotion.. I never believed someone would actually say all this to me, never believed I could still be so important to someone.
“If I eventually move away from here someday, if we peradventure never cross paths again and even if you don’t.. have feelings for me too, just remember that I’ll never forget the huge change you created in my being, I’ll never forget the person that taught me about the freedom you get after relieving your heart of the hatred it holds for others, I’ll never forget the girl that never gave up on me.. I’ll never forget you Jacqueline; the girl I fell deeply in love with without even realizing it and no matter what, that feeling will always be there cos to me you’re perfect and with a golden heart” he said and tears fell from my eyes unconsciously. The words were just so emotional and.. amazing. I couldn’t help it.. Nick smiled a little as he stared at my face.
“Hey.. It’s me who got rejected, I should be the one crying” he said.
“I-I’m sorry Nick” I said, wiping my teary face with my palms..
“I was just joking” he pulled his shirt back on and started buttoning it.
“Can I ask you something?” He asked and I sniffed before giving him a slight nod “Did you reject me cos you liked someone else? Cos at a time I felt like you had a thing for me too..” He said and nervously, I looked away and fumbled with my fingers “you see, that’s a sign again. Nervousness and a little discomfort plus being shy to look at me and your face’s red like a tomato; the whole thing is still there but you still said no.. Is there someone else that you like?” He asked. “No” I answered without giving him a glance.
“Someone telling you to say no?” He asked and I shook my head before muttering a no..
“So there’s literally no reason why you rejected me?” “I-I’m just scared” I stuttered and wet my lower lips with my tongue. “Of what? Me?”
“No. Of being in a relationship” I said.
“Why? Previous ones didn’t end well or what?”
“There were no previous ones”
“So you’re saying you’ve never dated before?” He asked and I nod.. Giving a quick
glance at his surprised expression.
“What? Is it weird that I’ve never dated?”
“Totally.. I mean who wouldn’t want to date you or have you been rejecting them?” “Kind off but I wasn’t ready then and I don’t think I am now. I don’t want a relationship that’ll end in tears when things suddenly starts to happen” “And you think ours will end that way?” He asked and she nodded.
“Listen Jackie, nothing will ever stop me from loving you.. I know you’re scared cos of what you might’ve seen in movies and it’s kinda weird that I’m giving relationship talks even though I haven’t been in one but I’m completely honest with you.. No matter that happens, I’ll always love you. Nothing’s gonna change about that and I’m willing to wait until you’re ready but I won’t stop trying. I’ll never give up on you same way you never gave up on me.. I know you love me too but you haven’t just realized it yet and I’ll patiently wait for you to realize it” he said and I kept quiet, cos I didn’t know what to say.
“I know you feel nervous around me now and it can be somehow annoying and it might make you want to get rid of me so how about we stay away from each other for a while” he said and my head snapped up to him, my eyebrow arched a question at him.
“I don’t mean we stay completely away from each other.. We could probably stop interacting face to face for a while, we could use phone texts instead and we’d only interact less verbally if necessary.. It’d give you time to realize your feelings” “But tomorrow’s our project submission day, we have to talk”
“How about we start after the whole project stuff is over?”
“Really Nick? You want to date me that much?”
“Yes and even though it’ll be saddening cos I’ll miss you, I’m still going to wait for you” he said and a smile tugged itself at my lips. I took out my phone and sent him a text..
Okay, let’s do this
He took out his phone and smiled.
“Is someone working your shift today?” He asked and I glanced at the time on my phone.
“Goodness! It’s thirty minutes past my work time!” I panicked.
“Hey calm it okay. I’ll drop you off in my car” he said..
“Okay I’ll go get my bag”
✏
The next morning after making Allan’s breakfast and having a little share without his presence, I grabbed my bag, tucked my phone into my pant pocket, checked my outfit on the mirror.. I hope it matches with my project partners.
I hit the road to school after packing up a sandwich for my lunch.. I got to school and noticed the beautiful changes and students hanging around, some with customized clothes and others with matching outfits, the school hall had a designated event place that had been decorated. I walked to the stairs and climbed up, I got to my locker and opened it.. I threw my bag in and took out a hairpin from my purse, I was pinning it to my hair when I felt a small tap on my hand and a small voice..
“Excuse me miss” I turned to see a small girl.. Dressed in our middle school uniform.. I gave her a questioning look.
“Um hello, what do you want?” I asked with a smile.
“A mister asked me to give you this” she stretched a small box to me and quizzically, I took it from her. There was a card stuck to the zip..
“Good morning pretty. I hope you haven’t had breakfast yet? if you have then just take this as a bonus.
From a guy that wishes to say this to your face and BTW, you look really stunning today.. Used a special cream?
Okay, I’m being a blabber mouth so I’ll just stop here. ”
I grinned and looked around, at the last floor, stood Nick, resting on the rail.. Hia gaze was on me and he gave me a small wink accompanied with a smile before walking away.
I smiled and ruffled the hair of the chubby girl.
“Thank you for this..
“I’m Lilly” she giggled.
“Alright Lilly thank you and tell that mister I said thanks”
“Okay” she giggled and jogged away.
I opened the box and there was a wrapped burger from burger king and a takeout cup of coffee, I took out the coffee and there was a designed heart with rose. I smiled and bit on my lower lip.
This is the first and best romantic gift and note that I’ve ever received.
.
_______________________________
T.B.C
✨WEIRD HEARTS ✨
(Love in circles )
.
BY BLESSING SILVER
.