I stood on my spot as she walked past me, my gaze moved to my phone on my palm and I moved to the rail and rested on it.
True.. I hate being pitied, especially when it’s thrown at my face but in this case I think I forgot many other positive things and only talked about this negative one that was still for my favor.. It’s a good thing Jason’s finally off my hair but at the same time, I hate to think that everything she did was out of pity.. I’ve always wanted a life of admiration, I know every living thing come with a problem of their own but I’ve always wanted mine to be exceptional..
I think I went too extreme with my words, everything was just so fast.. Mom’s presence, me having to tell all my secret to an outsider who somehow is my friend and then being pitied and pathetically helped.. I probably must’ve looked so pathetic back there but damn that! she took a whole lot of risk to help me. I should’ve been grateful and just kicked my pride aside especially since she’s the only outsider that still stayed, despite my illness.. I ought to be grateful. Maybe she’s right, I think about myself alot I mean what else would I have done, I take myself as the worst human on earth.. Imagine a life with no friends, no mother.. Just you, hiding your shame from the world and watching your mother’s foster son, trouble you daily. I sighed and ran a palm through my hair. I feel so mad at myself..
I’ll just apologize when she comes to work at my place.
I tucked my phone into my pant pocket and walked to my locker, getting there, I grabbed my bag and slammed my locker shut.. A little ferocious than usual and it got attention but I didn’t care. I turn and head out of the hallway.. Getting to my car, I took my stuffs in and slammed my car door shut.. I fired a shot at myself in case anything tries to happen on the road, I drove out of the school compound.. I was driving home when I sight a flower store with different kind of nice flowers, I stopped my car.
Should I get her some rose before apologizing? It might work too. I was about pulling the door open when a second thought hit me “Why am I getting her flowers?” I asked myself and rested back on the seat. What if she misunderstands
and besides, I’m already apologizing.. There’ll be no need for additions. I roared
my car back to life and drove home.
I emerged from the shower for the second time in less that three hours, I just felt like freshening up a second time.. It’s been three hours already since I returned from school and yeah, there have been no sign of Jacqueline.. Or have she finally decided to stay away from me because of what I said? But how can she do that now? I’ve said more hurtful words to her and she suddenly decides to act on this one?.. I thought she was on the ‘let me work my days off and leave when it’s over’ determination. Did she really want to back out now. I moved to my bed and sat on it.
It’s alright to be mad at me, yeah, my words were pretty hurtful and inhuman, but staying away from me and skipping work is so not alright.. Or is she quitting already? That can’t happen! I mean.. Where do I start finding a new help? Jeez.. I pushed myself to the bed and stared at my ceiling.
“Is she really backing out?” I said to myself and released a sigh.. I can’t let that happen, I don’t know why but I feel like her absence will give me more pain than joy especially since I caused it. She already feels like a part of my life.. Part of my life? I repeated..
I mean part of my life as my house help.. She’s been doing a lot of transformation here and I’m sure everything will be back to the normal odd, boring way since she’ll not be here. I hate to admit it but if she truly walks out of my life, I’ll miss her.. She’s been a help to me in so many ways.. I just can’t let her go.
I reached for my phone beside me on the bed and turned it on, I held a hand above her name.. Contemplating if I should give her a call or not. I can’t understand why I’m being this way. She can’t walk away and besides, she still owe me so I’m sure she’s definitely going to come back. I dropped the phone back.
I stood up and dressed before grabbing my car keys and my phone. I don’t understand how I feel but I could very much use a drive around. .
“Ouch!” I yelped and raised my burnt palm to my face.. I quickly put it below the tap mouth and twist the faucet, water spilled on it and I turned it off and applied air from my mouth on it. I must’ve mistakenly touched the hot pot while thinking about today. I don’t know why I can’t just stop thinking about how foolish I was. Nick’s reaction really took me aback. I understand he’s passing through some
things but he shouldn’t take it like he’s the only one with problems, everyone have theirs and considering the fact that I’ve always been there for him, makes it more of a reason why he shouldn’t have been so harsh on me.. I did it to help him.. I sighed. I took a plate from the drainboard and dish the mashed potatoes and broccoli into it, I put in a fork and with my free hand, carried a glass of water and walk to the living room.. I left the food on the table and informed Allan who sat on a couch, that his food was ready. He walked to the dinning table and I walked to my room, I was getting to the door of my room when I heard Allan call my name, I turned and walked back to the living room.
“What’s this?” He asked once I stood before him. He pointed to the food. “Mashed potatoes an–
“I know what it is! Why are there so much broccoli?” He asked, his gaze alone sent shivers down my spine.
“But the food-table says mashed potatoes and broccoli” I had barely completed my sentence when a hard object met the side of my cheek and stroke a part of it before falling. I held my cheek and looked at the object.. It was a fork, the fork I had put in Allan’s lunch. I raised my gaze at him, my hand still on my cheek. I sniffed. “Haven’t I told you not to put so much broccoli in my meals! Do I look that much of a vegetarian to you?” He asked.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you hate lots of broccoli in your meal”
“Well you should’ve checked the food-table! Properly”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. It won’t happen a second time” I said.
I miserably walked out of his presence, getting to my room, I stood beside my mirror and examined the cut the fork made on my cheek.. It was a little long slash with blood lining it.. I dressed the wound and prepared for work, I grabbed my bag, informed Allan I was leaving and left for work.
“So? You’re attending the orientation right?” Martha asked while we journeyed to the cafeteria..
“Sure.. I heard it’s for everyone and besides there’s a bonus.. Why won’t I attend” I said..
I ordered a milkshake and after Martha collected hers, we moved to two empty seats and sat.
“You still haven’t told me what happened to your face”
I left my cup of milkshake halfway to my lips.
“I told you I had an accident”
“But you weren’t specific about the kind” she said.
“I cut myself unintentionally” I said dryly “Is that specific enough?”
“Yes. How did it happen?”
“Seriously Martha.. Can we just eat”
“Not until you–” her voice trailed off “uh-oh here comes the loverboy” she said,
looking behind me and curiously, I tilt my head backwards and saw Nicholas in the
cafeteria, purchasing tea from the stand. I remembered yesterday’s event and I
sighed.. He suddenly turned and started looking around the cafeteria.. I twitched
my face and turned back to Martha.
“Hey, I think he’s looking for you”
“Please stop it Martha.. I already told you there’s nothing going on between Nick and I”
“Yeah?” She asked dryly “you’re still on with that *we’re just friends* stuff” she asked.
“We’re not friends” I said and suckled on the straw of my milkshake.
“Yeah.. Tell yourself all those lies” she said “First you’re not lovers, just friends and now you’re not even friends.. Really Jackie, you suck at lying”
“I’m serious Martha.. I dislike Nicholas” I said and she gave me a long stare first before picking her spoon up to continue eating.
After lunch, we walked back to class and after grabbing one or two things, we head to the room that has been assigned for the orientation.. As I expected it was filled.. Martha and I exchanged surprised glances..
That’s what happens when you give a boosting of grade as a repay for coming to a program. It was announced earlier today that an orientation will be held for the discussion of the school heads aim towards the school and all students are to be present because their opinions towards any decision the school makes, will be vital. Knowing how boring such programs will be for the students and not holding a program where the probability of students that will be present are not over two, Mrs Howard had promised an increment of grade to any student that attends and here we are, almost everyone in Amity high or everyone.
I scanned around for a seat and in the process my gaze met with Nick, he also happened to be looking at me and for a moment our gaze locked but I unlocked it and moved to sit in an unoccupied chair that I found at the back of the hall.
The orientation began and as it strolled by, I sensed Nicholas gaze on me at intervals and I succeeded in trying not to look at him.
“I think Nicholas is looking at you” Martha nudged me on my hand.
“So?” I asked.
“What’s up with you.. You should return the eye contact” she whispered, so she won’t create attention.
“And why will I do that?” I asked, my gaze on the speaker..
I could feel Martha outrageous gaze on me.. “Whatever” she replied.
The meeting went on for the next one hour, ranging from different speakers to
different topics.. Seriously it was so boring and the expression on all faces that I
looked at, said the same story.
Martha head laid on my shoulder.
“This feels like I’m watching one of the movies my dad acted in” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
“It’s so booorrring!” She drawled and I giggled lightly.
“It’ll end soon”. I assured her and sighed at the boredom…
The orientation ended after an extra twenty minutes of boredom and our names were ticked.. We were allowed to head back to class..
Martha was the first to move out, being among the last set of people at the back
and close to the exit. I followed and caught up with her, we head to class together.
“Jacqueline,” a very familiar voice called behind me and knowing who it is, I
continued walking. “Hey! Wait up!” The voice said persistently and I knew he was
trying to catch up with me. I was about taking another step when a grip stopped
me suddenly and I unwillingly turned to face Nick, making my anger obvious.
“Um Jackie, I’ll just be in the class” Martha said and I heard her walking away.
“What do you want?” I seethe.
“I want to talk to you–
“About what?” I barely let him complete his sentence. Students walked beside us.. “We can’t talk like this, let’s go some–
“I’m not going anywhere with you Nicholas”
He pulled me by my wrist to a corner. I didn’t quit the glare I gave him. “Why weren’t you at work yesterday?”
I first stared down at my wrist in his palm and he muttered something I didn’t hear before letting go of my wrist.
“I didn’t come because I don’t want to be called a pokenoser a second time” I said. He sighed and moistened his lips. “But don’t worry I didn’t forget that I still owe you, so I’ll just pay you cash instead”
“I don’t want your money!” he chipped into my sentence “I want you, I-I mean I want you to continue working for me and besides we didn’t agree on cash” “Looks like we’ll be changing plan”
“Arrgh.. Why are you being so difficult?” He grunts “I’m here to talk to you not argue with you”
“I don’t need it. I’ve heard more than enough already” I said..
He was quiet for a while “What happened to your face?” He asked, his gaze on my face.
“It’s None of your business, like you I also don’t like being cared for but I definitely don’t mistake mine with ‘pity’ when I see it” I said, making a pop sound at the ‘pity’
“I’m sorry” he said solemnly “I’m truly sorry about yesterday, I was just too steamed up I didn’t even think about my words, about the fact that I was hurting you.
Truly, you’ve done a lot for me and yesterday’s was part of it. I’m sorry for not being grateful. I really appreciate your care and your presence and I don’t want you to stay away from me. You can keep poke-nosing all you want as long as we keep staying how we used to” he said and my heart melted at his words.
Honestly, I felt his words to me came out of anger to everything that had happened earlier that day. It can’t be easy to have gone out just like that and right now, everything I had felt in the past that was similar to ‘rage’ and was as solid as ice, has melted. The words really melt me.
“Won’t you speak up? Are you still mad at me?” he asked.
“No. I forgive you” I said.
He smiled “So we’re solid again?”
“Were we ever solid in the past?” I inquired.
“Um No.. I meant solid, as friends”
“Oh..” I uttered “Then we’re as solid as rock”
✨WEIRD HEARTS ✨
(Love in circles )
BY BLESSING SILVER