Sun. May 12th, 2024


_Episode 32_

I f**ked up.


I had everything I’ve ever wanted right in front of me and just like that, it was snatched away.


The thunder roared in the sky, as if it was laughing at the predicament I was in. I stood in place as I watched Gianna speed out of my driveway for what seemed to be the last time. I could only stand hopelessly in the rain and feel sorry for myself. Unsaid words lingered in the air and I hated myself for causing the beautiful girl so much pain.


I love you too.


I forced myself back into the house, a dejected expression plastered onto my face.


“Oh honey, you’re all soaked, come in!” I was snapped back to reality at the sound of Sarah’s nasally voice that only added onto the copious amount of anger that was rushing through me. I barely acknowledged her, instead distancing myself and walking through the living room. I didn’t miss the frown on her face but I couldn’t possibly care enough to apologize to the woman I had once loved.


I made my way into our shared bedroom and straight into the shower, shrugging off the wet clothes that annoyingly clung onto my body. The scorching hot water burned my skin, but I felt numb to the pain for I had already experienced the worst when Gianna walked away from me.


The pain was like no other. I felt as if a million needles dug into me just by her looking into my eyes with such raw intensity. Water flowed down my face as I faced the shower head, my thoughts were completely and utterly consumed by her. I could still smell her on my skin, hear her voice in my head. The memory of her fingertips dragging across my scalp came rushing back and if I focused hard enough, I could still feel it.


I threw on a pair of warm sweatpants, covering my torso with a plain white tee and throwing my wet clothes into my laundry basket which was empty. A signification that Gianna had done it for me despite me telling her I could handle it. Another reason to love her, a list I had formed a while ago without knowing.


Growing up, I imagined myself getting married to one of the supermodels my sister forced me to watch almost every single day.  I would never admit it, but that had slowly become my favourite time of the day. Not only because I was lucky enough to spend time with my sister, but because I would often imagine myself as the perfect suitor for one of the mesmerizing models.


As I got older, my innocence slipped away. I spent more nights between random girl’s legs than I did in my own house. I thrived on the attention and power I received from each desperate individual, and once I was done. I never saw any of them again.


I made myself believe that they were everything I’ve ever wanted and I would only be happy if I ended up sleeping next to a girl as beautiful as the ones I had seen on screen. As a young boy, I thought the most important thing in life was beauty. And if I had found a good-looking girl, I would be complete for my life.


And that is exactly what I did.


At the ripe age of twenty-one, I had the fortune of meeting Sarah. She came strutting into my club, stole the attention of every single man that had the luck to be in the same room as her and had each and every one of them offer to buy her a drink. She turned them all down.


I stood in the private room, overlooking the lit up dance floor and caught sight of her. Long blonde locks whipped across her face as she danced for what looked like hours. The first thing I took note of was her undeniable feistiness. I saw the pride in her eyes when she pushed every other man away from her. She knew they were no good for her.

I then went on and tried my luck with offering her a drink, my mind lingering on my wife and beautiful son who I had missed so dearly. I couldn’t wait to get home.


Surprisingly, she accepted. Sarah was never shy. She strode into my private area as if she owned the place. “Holy shit man. You’re the owner? This is sick.” She was never one to hold her tongue either.


The little spitfire and I became good friends almost instantly. I often found her at my dinner table, spilling her relationship issues to my wife and I, not daring to filter anything around my kids. Who she never really seemed interested in anyway.


She was a breath of fresh air, and after the tragic death of my wife. She took it as an opportunity to infiltrate my life in unimaginable way, inevitably turning it upside down.


And soon enough, she became Sarah Moritello.


I looked past all her personality flaws, I looked past the greed, the sudden hunger for money she possessed over the years. I made myself believe I loved her, and that she loved me.


Sarah was the one for me. That is, until, she wasn’t.


Because there came Gianna Vidal at the perfect time. The ultimate sin. It felt as if the universe was laughing at me, dragging the petite brunette into my life when I was at my lowest point in my marriage. I felt an odd sense of déjà vu, perhaps life was indeed just a continuous cycle because there was no way meeting her was purely coincidental.


Now, I don’t believe in fate—nor do I have strong beliefs in destiny. But everything I claimed not to believe in, was somehow understandable when I had met her. She was the big plot twist in my book of life. The surprise ending.


But as all good villains do. I ruined her.


“Alex, honey? Are you coming down for dinner?”


I focused my attention onto Sarah who stood against the door, eyebrow quirked up in question.


I tried to find her. The fireball I had met almost fifteen years ago. I looked past all the betrayal, the lies, the arguments, but I couldn’t. As much as I tried searching. The Sarah I once knew was long gone.


“I’ll be done soon.” I mumbled, still not over our little spit earlier.


Satisfied with my answer, she swiveled around on her tall heels and walked back into the kitchen.


True to my word, I walked into the dining room soon after to find Sarah placing what looked like chicken alfredo onto two plates.


She cooked?


“Where are the kids?” I asked, taking my seat at the head of the large table.


“I set them down for a quick nap, I made sure to feed them beforehand.”


I nodded and watched closely as she poured our most expensive champagne into two tall glasses, handing me the first.


“Let’s dig in.”

We sat and ate in silence, the screeching of forks against plates filled the room. A classical music piece hummed in the background, creating a restaurant sort of ambiance.


But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bare sitting here and acting as if everything was okay when it wasn’t. we were too far gone to be considered okay.


“Cut the shit Sarah.” I spoke, dropping my cutlery onto the plate in front of me. She looked up in shock, confusion written all over her face.


“What do you mean?” she asked, feigning innocence. She wasn’t naïve, Sarah knew I had caught onto her silly games.


“All of this.” I said, gesturing to the meal in front of us. “The home cooked food, the music, just you and I on our own. What are you getting at?”


She laughed. Her smile bright and eyes shut tightly. “Darling, can’t we celebrate my pregnancy just one night?” she asked, as if it was the most normal question.


“No. we can’t. Not when you haven’t kept me updated on all your visits to Smith. I have a right to know.” The wide smile dropped off her face, a guilty look flashed across her eyes at the speed of light and then, it was gone. As if I had imagined it.


“You do. You’re right.”


I let out a relaxed breath at the thought of her finally opening up about her newfound pregnancy. I wasn’t happy about the kid, but I couldn’t force her to get rid of it if she didn’t want to, I realized my mistake from our last argument. If the child is mine, I’ll be sure to look after it. And if it isn’t’ both her and the newborn would exit my life. I wouldn’t be taking care of someone else’s child.


“He told me I’m three months along. They did an ultrasound, the baby has a healthy heartbeat and so far everything is good. I was told the pregnancy do’s and dont’s but I’m already aware of the basics. ”


I gestured for her to continue and she stared up at the ceiling, a habit she used when thinking.


“Oh! He also told me the gender. We’re having a girl!” she squealed, clasping her hands together. A happy smile was etched onto her face as she looked at me, awaiting my reaction.


All I could do was focus on the rage coursing through me. “Bullshit.” I growled, my chair screeched noisily as I stood up, clutching the edge of the table so tightly, I was scared it would break off.


“W-what?” she stuttered nervously, alarmed at my reaction.


“The gender of a baby an only be found out at eighteen weeks, not the twelve you’ve been so called ‘pregnant’ for.” I set aside my rage for a few seconds to look up at Sarah, a look of realization crossed her eyes as they widened.


“D-did I say three months? I-I meant six. Silly me.” She attempted to laugh it off, casting her eyes anywhere but on me.


I chuckled humorlessly. “At six months, you’d be showing. And your stomach is as flat as always. Do not test my intelligence.”


By now, I had caught onto Sarah’s twisted lie and she knew there was no way to save herself. “Alex, b-baby please.”


“Sit the f**k down Sarah.” I shouted, banging my fist onto the table. She sat back down from her standing position, slightly jumping at my outburst. She had never seen me this angry and in totally honesty, neither had I.

“Are you pregnant?” I asked, getting right to the point.


She shook her head sadly, confirming my thoughts.


“Fuck!” I cursed, grabbing the empty champagne glass and flinging it against the wall. “You lied! You fake a whole pregnancy? For what—huh? For attention? You’re sick.” I spat, not caring that tears were ferociously falling down her face.


“N-no, I just wanted us to get closer Alex, I-I thought this would be the way to do it, I didn’t think you’d be so upse-”


“You didn’t think I’d be upset?” I repeated slowly. “I’m f**king furious Sarah.” I paced back and forth in the centre of the room, my hand dragging through my hair every few seconds.


“You put us through all that and thought I’d be all happy after you came clean? You thought you could fix our many marriage problems with a fake baby?” I asked, still shocked at how devious she could be. I knew Sarah wasn’t the best person, but this? This was a new level of low.


“Yes! I just wanted us to be happy again, Alex please!” she stood up and reached for my hand but I snatched away as soon as I felt her fingertips near mine.


All I could think of was Gianna. All the pain, betrayal and sadness she was feeling, was all for nothing. It was all one big sick lie.


“I want a divorce.”


“What? Please, no, I’m so sorry Alex, please don’t do this.” Her voice was shaking just as much as my hands were. But I couldn’t feel sorry for her. I’d had enough.


“I’ve made up my mind. Say whatever you want to my kids. But I want you out in the next few days.”


“You don’t mean that. You’re just mad. That’s all. You just need to calm down.” She pleaded, a scared look on her face. But no, that wasn’t what I needed, I had made up my mind.


“No. this is the last straw Sarah.” I slid the wedding ring off my ring finger and a loud sob broke free from her throat.


“I want you out.”


I dropped the object onto the table and hurriedly walked out of the room, a free man.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *