Mon. Oct 30th, 2023

*INNOCENT TEMPTATIONS || 18+ πŸ”₯ πŸ”₯ πŸ”₯ πŸ”₯*

_Episode 24_

Alex’s POV

 

Life was a complex work of art.

 

Billions of people walked the earth. Each had an intricate story that led up to this very moment in life. Tragedy, heartbreak, love, birth of life as well as loss of life. Factors like those kept the earth rotating. By looking at a single person, you could never truly reveal their whole life story. To you, they were just another human walking across the streets. But no one could know that they had just lost their mother that same day.

 

It led us to the phrase, ‘never judge a book by its cover.’ Which was a great slogan to live by. Although, people could never live that way. We were judgmental and rude and sick. Liars, thieves, murderers. Hungry, greedy for information where it didn’t concern us.

 

The earth was cruel and everyone knew it.

 

You would never know the true intentions hidden behind the words we were told.

 

Which was foolish in itself. Knowing people are liars but not having the ability to realize when they were being dishonest, and what they were lying about.

 

In the grand scheme of things. We were broken. Not two halves of a whole. But trillions of pieces that were shoved onto earth and forced to become one again. Once more, it was unwise. As long as life existed, so would too much hate and not nearly enough love.

 

We had trust to fall back on. Our friends, family. We put our trust in them in the most unseen ways. Sleeping next to your spouse alone was an unknown form of trust. Who’s to say they wouldn’t turn around and murder us in the night? Poison the food they cooked for us? Your own life is put in the hands of many people, without you knowing it.

 

I threw open the door of my vehicle and slammed it closed. So hard I would’ve assumed the hinges had fallen off. They didn’t. luckily.

 

“Alex, Alex please stop and listen to me for one damn second!”

 

I overlooked the whiney voice in the background and fixated on controlling my anger. I pulled open the door with the same force and strode through the grand entrance of my home, not waiting to see if she had followed me inside.

 

“Alex godammit stop it!” the woman shrieked, grabbing ahold of my wrist.

 

I forcefully pulled my hand away from hers and looked at her irritably. I was sure smoke was soaring through my ears.

 

She had to have been lying. She couldn’t be pregnant. I knew she couldn’t.Β  Sarah and I hadn’t had sΒ£x in almost two months, and when we did. She made sure she was on the pill and I know for certain she wouldn’t lie about it. Right?

 

“What? What else could you possibly have to say Sarah.” She stepped back at my harsh tone and I relaxed a slight amount, not wanting to alarm her more. I was angry, anyone could see that. But the last thing I wanted was for her to fear me.

 

“You aren’t happy.” She stated matter-of-factly. “I thought you would be Alex we’re having another kid together. Why aren’t you happy?” she emphasized the word kid as if that would make me feel any better.

 

“You think I should be f**king happy?” I asked, heatedly.

 

“Yes, actually, I do.” Her face turned slightly red as she raised her voice. At this point, neither of us were holding back. “Give me one valid reason as to why we can’t have another child? We have the money to support it. That’s all that’s important!”

I stared at her, mouth open and eyes wide. Was she stupid?.

 

“That’s your problem Sarah! That is your f**king problem. You think money is enough to make up for the lack of love we’d be able to give the child? How is that going with the three kids we already have. You’re barely there for them. We have to rely on a f**king babysitter to look after our children when you’re a stay at home wife! Which, by the way, means you have no reason to not be there for our children. A stranger who we barely know, cooks for them, cleans them up and sings them to sleep because you aren’t enough of a mother for them.”

 

Tears brimmed in her blue eyes but I couldn’t feel bad and carried on. “You leave the house at odd ass times of the day and aren’t there way past dinner. Is the kid even mine? Or are you f**king some other random rich man-” before I could finish my obsessive rant, she raised her hand and slapped me straight across the face.

 

I flinched back at the sting at stopped myself from retaliating. I knew I wouldn’t lay my hands on her, but the urge to throw something ate away at me and before I knew it, I flung the closest thing I could find, against the wall. The vase shattered and fell onto the floor.

 

“You f**king idiot! She screamed. “Don’t ever speak to me like that again. This is your child whether you like it or not. And we’re having it.”

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

“Get rid of it. We aren’t having another child.”

 

“What?” She screeched. “I’m not doing that. Are you out of your mind?”

 

“No. I’m being rational. I don’t want it. Get rid of the child.”

 

If possible, her face got redder and she raised her hand once more but I caught it in time before she slapped me again. “Don’t ever raise your hand at me.” I warned. Before grabbing my keys off the floor and marching out the front door.

 

I had no clue where I was going but I needed to leave.

 

I raised my fist against the wooden door, knocking repeatedly.

 

“Pazienza, pazienzaΒ  I’m coming.”

 

The door swung open and I came face to face to face with my best friend, who I hadn’t seen in way too long.

 

“AlexΒ  what are you doing here at.” His eyes glanced towards his watch. “Four thirty.” He asked, raising his eyebrows in question

 

I strolled past him and into his large home. “Is your wife here?” I asked, ignoring his previous question and searching the area for the woman.

 

“No, she’s out with some friends. Are you okay?”

 

Antonio’s wife, Hera, was a beautiful woman. They complimented each other perfectly and I often felt myself being envious of their blossoming marriage. As far as I’m concerned, they were always happy and never stayed mad at each other for more than a few hours at a time.

 

My mind drifted to when Sarah and I were like that. A long long time ago, we were happily in love. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the time. But I knew we would never be the same, our marriage was too far gone.

“She’s pregnant.” I announced grumpily, placing my head into my hands.

 

I heard him choke on nothing but air, which lead him into a coughing fit. “Vieni di nuovo?” he whispered, in his native tongue. Antonio was never one for English despite speaking it fluently.

 

“She announced it in front of our f**king marriage counselor a few hours ago.” I mumbled, my voice muffled by my hands.

 

He let out a string of Italian curse words before sitting next to me. “come ti senti a riguardo?”

 

“Pissed off. We had a huge argument about whether or not we should have the child.”

 

“And?”

 

“I don’t want it.” I replied, lifting my head from its position and facing my curious friend. “I told her to get rid of the child and she almost slapped me.”

 

“Oh hermano, you can’t tell a woman to terminate her child. Any man with a brain knows that. What were you thinking?” His eyes held a concerned expression.

 

“I know. I f**ked up. But we can’t have another kid man. It wouldn’t be brought up in a healthy family and I can’t do that to more innocent children.” I explained, almost in tears at the thought.

 

My three kids already grew up in an almost unstable manner, which would affect them in the future. I didn’t want them to expect a shitty relationship when their older because that’s what their parents portrayed at home. It’s the reason why I tried to keep our marital problems away from them but sometimes, married life got too much to handle.

 

“Well, are you positive the baby is yours?”

 

I thought back to the many times I had watched Sarah leave the house at absurd times over the morning and only return late at night. It was enough to leave any man suspicious. Knowing how rocky our marriage is only added to the feeling of distrust I had.

 

You’re one to talk. I reminded myself.

 

Which was true, I was being hypocritical. I had f**ked another woman and enjoyed it many times. I didn’t feel all that shameful anymore, although the feeling lingered in my head on occasion. I shrugged it away most of the time.

 

The whole situation was messy. And the longer I stayed, the messier it got.

 

“I’m not completely certain it is. I don’t know what scares me more. Being the father, or not.”

 

He nodded in understanding and stood up. “I’ll go get you a beer, si?”

 

I smiled at him in appreciation and leaned back into the leather couch. Running my hands through my dark hair.

 

Dozens of thoughts swirled around my mind, causing me to feel suffocated once more. I felt claustrophobic in the large space.

My phone alerted me of a new message and I picked it up, the message immediately calming me.

 

‘I’m sorry for not making it today, I wasn’t really feeling well. See you in a few days maybe?’

 

I smiled at the text. Which was unusual for me.

 

Why in a few days? Couldn’t she see me tomorrow?

 

I sent a text back asking that same question and received a reply almost instantly.

 

Busy today. The text read.

 

I arched my eyebrow in concern at the disinterested text and worry instantly settled into my body, relieving me of any previous baby stress.

 

I needed to go see her.

 

“Here it is. One large pint, it’ll calm you down a little.” I accepted the alcohol into my hand happily and drank almost half of it in one sip.

 

“Calmati Alex. The beer isn’t going anywhere.” My friend laughed, attempting to lighten the mood.

 

“Would it be rude if I told you I had to leave?” I asked apprehensively staring at the man next to me.

 

He chuckled lowly, twirling the ring on his finger. “It’s the girl isn’t it?” he asked.

 

I nodded shyly and he patted my knee. “vai allora. I won’t stop you. She seems good for you hermano, I can’t wait to meet her.”

 

“Thanks toni, I owe you.” I embraced him in a brotherly hug.

 

“Nonsense. Now go, my wife will be back soon and I can’t have you stealing her from me.”

 

I laughed at his words and hurried out the house after one last goodbye. My car came to life as I started the engine, reversing out of my friend’s backyard.

 

The streets were busier than they had been when I arrived. Or perhaps they seemed busier because I was anxious to reach the one person who I knew could take my mind of everything.

 

I sped as safely as I could through the bustling streets of New York City, strumming my fingers against the wheel impatiently at every traffic light I came across.

 

After almost half an hour of travelling through the busy roads. Gianna’s apartment came into view and I sighed in relief.

 

I exited the vehicle and shut the door behind me. Knocking at her front door impatiently.

 

Please be okay. I chanted over and over.

 

But nothing could’ve prepared me for what was on the other side of that door.

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