November 28th, 2019. 11:05PM 32
“Fear and Paranoia are a very dangerous combination, those who entertain them become victims of self-destruction.” Tflo
I would have loved to get my dream wedding, but I wasn’t prepared to wait another day before Mulife made me his. Even after talking about it, we decided that we would just have a small church ceremony. Officiate our marriage thenhave a small come together at home with people that reallymattered.
Connie was helping me fix my hair and someone would think that it was her wedding because she was jittery.
‘You look beautiful.’ She says tears falling ‘Thank you.’ I respond trying so hard not to cry
I am wearing a white off the shoulder dress, it is tight on the upper body and flared on the bottom. On my feet are gold stilettos. My hair has been let lose and its nicely curled making it look like a deep wave.
‘How was it like?’
‘Your wedding day I mean?’ I ask
Connie smiles as if looking back at old memories
‘I wanted the wedding for centuries, I wanted to make a statement but you know the kind of man your father is. He wanted something small and intimate, like what you are having.’
‘So, you went with his flow?’
‘Not exactly, but we had to look at the pros and cons.’ ‘And he ended up winning?’
‘And we ended up agreeing on one thing.’
She holds both of my hands lovingly
‘Thelma, I know I haven’t known you a long time but I can tell that you have a good head over your shoulders.’ She begins
‘Baby marriage is not a walk in the park, no relationship is.’
I nod my head
‘Its all fun and games when the both of you are living separately, you get to see each other after a while then later go back to your separate lives. But once you are married there is no such thing, you are stuck with this person for eternity and you are going to learn things about them that will tick you off. Things that will make you question the very reason you chose to be with them, but trust me; when you decide to work with your partner as a team, not even the devil will look at you a second time.’
‘You make it sound like it is hard.’
She shakes her head
‘They are going to be bad days, worst days. Days when the very sound of their voice will make you go mad.’
She pauses to laugh
‘This is a new step that you are taking, you will be scared on some days, uncertain on most. You will be staying in a new location, trying to be friends with his friends, every day. Every year. Every decade the both of you will be constantly growing and changing, you will still have to be attracted to him even when the butterflies turn to diarrhea and the goosebumps to pimples. They are days he will
become your headache, when his perfume will no longer excite you and yet his morning breath you will have to live with. Temptations will be there hun, from both angles but you have to remember why you got married to him in the first place. It’s a happiness that the both of you have to work towards attaining.’
I throw my hands around her; God knows I needed a mother figure in my life to help me get through this day.
‘Thank you.’ I say as the tears run down my cheeks
‘No thank you Thelma, thank you for being this kind hearted strong woman that you are despite what life threw at you.’ She says
‘Now let’s fix your make up, your husband is waiting.’ She says
The door opens and dad walks in, he stands there and stares at me hard. I can see his eyes watering.
‘You really gonna cry?’ Connie asks him her own tears falling ‘So, it’s okay for you to cry but I can’t.’
‘She is my daughter; can’t a mother have such a moment with her child?’ ‘Our daughter you mean.’
‘You can keep the twins; this one is mine.’
‘You wont stop wont you?’ I ask and they both laugh
‘I will leave you two alone, but Richard don’t keep her too long lest Mulife thinks we are hijacking her.’ She says kissing my forehead before walking out
I laugh, but the laughter fades as the door closes ‘You look beautiful.’ He begins
‘I wish mum was here to see me like this.’ ‘She would have been pleased.’
‘I know.’ I say a tear falling There is silence between us
‘I wanted to give you this.’ Hesays ‘What isthis?’
I get the necklace from him, it has a pendant on it; framed into aheart. ‘What isthis?’
‘When I married your mother, my father gave me this. He said it could be broken into two but that could only be done when we divorced or separated.’
‘I have never seen it.’
‘Because I took it off the minute we got married, I thought it was absurd and just some charm to trick me into staying with her.’
‘Wow.’
‘I know, but I am hoping you keep it.’
I smile as I lift my hair so that he puts it around my neck ‘It’s beautiful.’
‘So are you.’ He says
‘I am sorry baby, I am really sorry. For everything, for each and every single thing I put you through, I am sorry.’ He says in tears on his knees.’
I look at him wordlessly as my own tears begin to fall.
‘For a long time I worshipped the ground you walked on, you were the most perfect man in my eyes not knowing you were worse than the devil himself.’
‘I wanted to build my life giving you as an example for what a perfect father should be like, you failed me dad.’ I say tears falling hard
‘I failed not only you and your mother but myself too, I failed as a man. I failed as a brother, a friend, a husband and most importantly I failed as a father and I am
really sorry.’
I stand there watching him as he wallows in pain and tears. ‘We can’t bridge the gap now, can we?’
‘But we can learn to walk again.’
‘I am not promising you a happy father daughter reunion. I am not promising you a princess moment. I might not even call you once or twice a week. I can’t guarantee that.’
‘Let us learn to crawl first, let me earn your trust.’
‘I can work with that.’ I say giving him my hand so that he stands up ‘Are you ready to give me away now?’
‘Of course, I am.’ He says with a smile ‘Then let’s do this.’
Winnie