Fri. May 10th, 2024

October 29th, 2019. 9:05PM 16 (Unedited)


If I could choose between you and I, it would definitely be me. – Winnie


There is a certain kind of pain that comes with betrayal from loved ones, nobody understands this pain better than the one wearing the pants. It is suffocating, draining – both emotionally and physically. This is the kind of pain you should never wish upon anyone, not even the worst of your enemies.


I am back at the office the following morning, I realize that staying in doors is just going to suffocate me even more. I love Lerato with a passion but after what happened yesterday I am not sure I am ready to talk to her.


My morning is busy, I have work lined up from the previous day and meetings waiting to be held and attended but I choose to deal with the paper work first.


I am so engrossed in my work that the ringing of my phone almost makes me jump out of my skin, it is my secretary.


‘Yes.’ I respond looking at a report


‘There is a Mr. Mulife here to see you.’ She says


I sigh deeply, I know I cant run away from him forever and somehow we have to talk about it.


‘Please tell him I am busy.’ I finally say


She keeps quiet for a moment, obviously talking to him. ‘Ma’am are you still there?’ she asks



‘He insists that he wants to see you or he can wait for you to finish work.’ ‘Then let him wait.’ I say dropping the line

Mulife won’t be the reason why another day of work is wasted, I have so much on my plate and I know my employers didn’t hire me to put my emotions ahead of my work.


I go back to the report I was working on, after that I get into a conference call with some of our partners talking about how we are going to expand the business and before I know it my lunch break has already been consumed. By the time I am done, it is after 3PM and I am starving like crazy.



The light knock on the door has me praying that it isn’t a client because I am not sure I have any energy left in me to handle one.


‘Come in.’ I say in my professional voice


His scent hits me first, I had totally forgotten that he was waiting outside for me. ‘Hey.’ He says

I look at him, still as good looking as I can remember him to be except this time more mature.


Thoughts of how much I liked him back in the days kick in, how I had questioned myself on why in his perfection he would end up with a woman like Olipa. Then the day we had traveled together to Senanga, I had wanted to enjoy that moment for ever. To treasure it each and every single day of my life but here we are now, all that replaced by the fact that he had betrayed me.


‘How are you?’ he says one hand in the pocket ‘Well thank you.’ I say

He walks close to my desk and puts a take away pack from Turn n’ Tender, my stomach betrays me but my face is void of any emotions.


‘I figured you haven’t eaten anything considering the time I have been waiting so thought I should order you something to eat.’


‘You didn’t have to.’ I say the scent hitting not only my nostrils but insides too He keeps standing there awkwardly and I am not about to offer him a seat.

‘What are you doing here?’ I finally ask after a few minutes of silence ‘Am I allowed to vindicate myself?’ he asks


‘Enlighten me.’ I say He sighs deeply ‘Thelma I was young.’

I eye him


‘And I was scared, I didn’t know what to do with the information that you had shared with me. I thought I was strong.’


‘So you told the world and made the burden a little less right?’


He sighs


‘Maybe coming here wasn’t a good idea after all.’ He says with a defeated look I stand up, feeling angry once again.

‘Mulife you came all the way from God knows where just to come and chicken out here huh?’ I ask anger taking a hold of me


‘I trusted you, told you things that I could never have told anyone and you went on and spilt all that information to the world. Now you stand in my presence and try to make yourself the victim?’ I ask with disbelief


‘I didn’t tell Olipa anything.’


I laugh sarcastically


‘Thelma they are things that I can’t tell you right now, things that I just want you to hold me accountable to but with the hope that I will clear my name someday.’

He says


‘You want me to trust that you will clear your name? and what happens until then? We play lovey dovey whilst I don’t know what in God’s name is happening?’


He moves closer and comes to stand next to me, I can feel my body responding to his presence but my heart is not in a very good place.


‘Tell me you don’t feel it and I will go.’ He says looking me straight in the eyes


I look away, wanting to tell him that for a long time I have felt strongly for him but my brain just can’t allow me right now. I am not in a good place.


‘Thelma look at me.’ He says touching my face so that I can face him and I do just that




‘They are so many things that have happened in the time that we have been away, so many things have changed but what still stands is how I feel about you.’


I look into his eyes searchingly


‘That night in Senanga I wanted to tell you how I felt about you but I couldn’t because I wasn’t going to string you along in my web of lies, I wanted you – so bad but not as much as I wanted your peace of mind.’


He pauses


‘I know I am not making sense right now but I just want you to trust me.’


I shake my head vigorously


‘Mulife I would rather have a peace of mind than hold on to what could be or

couldn’t, sort yourself out but be lest assured that I wont be here waiting for you to grow up. You have hurt me deeply, by telling people what I trusted you with you betrayed my trust and I would never see you in the same light again.’


He keeps quiet for a few seconds.


‘I understand, but just know that I am not going anywhere. I will make this right.’ He says before kissing my forehead



He walks out her office but his phone rings just before he gets to his car, its his youngest brother Mundiya; it can only be trouble.


‘Mundiya.’ He says


‘Get to the hospital now, dad wants to get Olivia.’ He says before cutting the line


He feels his blood boil but he has to control himself if he must get to the hospital in one piece.


But before driving off he calls the family nurse. ‘Where is she?’

‘Your mother is not doing well Sir, she knows that your father is on his way to Lusaka.’ The nurse responds


He curses loudly before driving off, he is tired of his father’s drama and it is time to put an end to it.




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