‘I have fallen in love with someone else and she is carrying my child,’ the words finally escape his mouth before he can stop them.
Shock washes through me like a wave of sickness and makes me reach out and hold on to the back of the chair.
Pain stabs through me with a shocking intensity and my heart races as if in a nightmare.
I suddenly can’t breathe I can’t take in any air at all.
Did I hear him right? My Wes is in love with someone else? It can’t be.
Bile rises in my throat and I swallow it back.
I feel sick but I can’ afford to be sick not now I need to confront this situation. How did it happen? Were there signs I missed, yes we haven’t been spending a lot of time together? When did it all happen?
‘Who is she?’ I ask when I finally gather some strength. I know I am supposed to be yelling and ranting but I am afraid at how calm I am.
‘Lulu!’ he says
‘WTF?’ Did he just say Lulu as in the girl that just brought him lunch this afternoon at the office? So this is why he humiliated me in front of her?’
‘The same woman I met this afternoon?’ I ask, choking out the words.
‘Yes, he glances at me then returns his gaze to the door.
‘Lord!’ This is too much for me to bear.
‘Zaria, I am sorry…?’
‘Sorry?’ I cut him short, ‘Did you just say you are sorry Wesley?’
‘I am sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t plan for this to happen, it just happened,’ he says
‘How long have you been with her?’ I ask
‘Don’t do this to yourself.’
‘How long?’ I yell slamming my fist on the table
He looks at me and shakes his head. ‘8 months.’
‘8 f**king months and you couldn’t tell me, you have been lying to me for eight months.’
‘I didn’t know how to break the news to you.’
‘Oh and now is the perfect moment?’
‘Don’t make this hard for me.’
I laugh, ‘Now I am making this hard for you right, do you know how it feels to have your boyfriend of five years tell you he is in love with someone else and she is pregnant do you?’
‘Wes after everything we have been through, after everything I have done for you. This is how you will repay me?’
‘You can keep the house and I can start paying you for all the money you spent on me.’
I look at him unable to believe he just said that. I dedicated my life- body, mind and soul to this relationship and he thinks money will carter for the damage he has just caused me.
‘I know I am fool but I there is nothing I can do, Lulu is carrying my child and I have to marry her as soon as possible.’
‘You are a good woman Zaria, you will find someone who………..,’
‘Oh please, spare that bullshit.’
‘I should calm down?’
‘Yes,’ he snaps
My knees sink to the floor as realization finally hits me he does love this other woman. I can see it in his eyes but will happen to me? Where will I go from here? How do I start all over again?
He stands quietly, his hands clenched by his side he opens his mouth to speak but closes it instantly when his phone rings.
He picks it up and puts it to his ear, ‘Hello,’ he says
It’s her I know it’s her.
‘Okay, I will get you something on my way that side, what else do you need?’ He asks
‘Sure,’ he says before he hangs up.
‘I will give you some time to calm down, we can talk tomorrow about the way forward,’ he grabs his car keys
I stand and grab his arm as he is about to walk out.
‘Wes, please don’t do this to us, you know I love you very much please.’
‘Don’t do this to yourself Zaria,’ he says
‘How far along is she?’ I ask
‘I know this is a difficult situation but I am willing to forgive you, just tell her to get rid of the baby and dump her, our lives can go back to normal,’ I anxiously say.
‘You want me to kill my own child?’ he asks
‘You did it once you can do it again.’
‘I was young and naïve then.’
My heart aches suddenly and a sharp pain pierces my soul as memories of the past flash right before my eyes. During our second year together, I got pregnant for Wes but he made me get rid of it because he was struggling and not ready to have a child. I was financially stable and could have catered for that child but he didn’t want us to keep it because he didn’t want us having children out of wedlock.
I feel tears flood my eyes and I quickly blink, I don’t wanna cry not now.
‘I forgive you for cheating just get rid of the baby and let us start all over.’
He looks at me intently. In some part of my brain I know I should let him go, I know I am supposed to walk away from this relationship right this minute and maintain some of my dignity but instead I hold on to him tightly, this man is my whole life, I can’t let him be with another without putting up a fight.
He sighs and releases some air, ‘You deserve more than I have given you. You deserve to be with someone who will appreciate you for who you are. I am sorry I not that someone, if I stay with you, I will just end up hurting you,’ he says
‘Wes, please,’ I plead
He tries to yank his hand off mine but I quickly lean in and kiss his lips. I am desperate, I can’t help myself.
He doesn’t kiss me back instead he pushes me off me and releases his hand from mine.
‘You are making this situation harder than it already is,’ he says
‘I love you demit can’t you see?’ I snap
‘I am sorry.’
‘Then don’t leave me, if you are sorry stay with me and make it up to me for hurting you,’ my voice cracks even though I am trying not to show weakness.
‘I have to go.’
‘Go,’ I snap finally finding a little dignity far too let.
‘Let’s talk in the morning, I hate to see you cry I can’t stand here and watch you fall apart,’ he says before he finally turns to walk out of the room. I watch him until he opens the door and walks out closing shut behind him.
My stomach tightens, my mind races, this is too much for me I break down and weep loudly.
My Wes is in love with someone else, the man I thought was my best friend and husband to be, my partner and confidant. How could this be happening to her?
‘Oh God what am I going to do?’
A gambling Heart