Tue. Feb 13th, 2024

-Episode Twenty Five-




I wake up screaming loudly and drenched in a bath of my own sweat, I look around the room nervously. It was the same terrible dream that I have been having for years but now the dream is becoming all too real.


Taking a deep breath, I slip out of bed and walk to the bathroom to splash some cold water over my face. Hands on each side of the basin, I look into the mirror and for a minute i can’t recognize myself.


I can’t bear to look at my reflection again, I am a mess maybe not on the outside but I can feel it. I have gone an extra mile just to get Alex’s attention but nothing has worked so much.


I don’t even know what to do anymore. Why can’t this Yedda girl just leave him for me? I don’t want history to repeat itself but if she doesn’t back off I might be forced to unleash the monster in me.


Frustrated I walk back into my room and pull on my rob, then finally I slip my feet into a pair of tiny slippers. I walk out of my room with my phone in my hands into the kitchen.


In the kitchen I walk towards the cupboard and pull out a bottle of red wine. A quick search produces the corkscrew then I open the bottle with a flourish. I don’t bother getting a cup I drink of it upon opening it.


I am full of deep thoughts when the door creaks open as mum walks into the kitchen.


‘Isn’t it too early to be drinking?’ she asks startling me from my reverie.


I look up at her, ‘Hey mummy.’


She is all dressed up and ready to leave the house, my mother is a busy woman, she is never at home.


She is always up and about. She supports me financially but she is emotionally detached from me.


‘I am not feeling too well.’


‘What’s wrong?’ she asks as she pours herself a glass of orange juice.


‘The nightmares are hunting me again.’


‘Oh not again,’ she exclaims


‘Maybe you need to take time off, why not take a vacation?’


‘Vacations don’t solve anything,’ I sigh.


‘Should I make an appointment with Charlotte?’ she asks


‘No,’ I shake my head.


Charlotte is my therapist but I only talk to her when I see it fit. Right now I don’t think her words can make any difference.


‘You know what we are going to talk about this when I get back. I have to rush out quickly.’


‘As usual,’ I mumble under my breath.


‘Say what?’


‘I will see you later,’ I say


‘I love you baby, a whole lot. Get some money in my drawer, go out and spoil yourself.’




With that said she is gone.


I rise to my feet after a few minutes and head back to my room, I know the right person to call so I can feel a whole lot better. This nightmare just spoiled my day and Alex isn’t giving me any attention.


Sitting on the edge of the bed, I dial Ezra’s number and put the phone to my ear. He answers immediately.


‘Baby girl.’




‘How are you?’


‘I am okay, where are you? I need to see you.’


‘I was about to head out of the house.’




‘To hang out with the guys.’


‘Is you wife at home?’




‘I need to see you.’


‘Where are you?’




‘Okay, I will come and see you before I meet up with the guys.’




As soon as the call disconnects, I stand up and enter the bathroom.


Ezra is a good friend of mine, he is married but we are best friends with benefits.


I met him a year ago at a club and we instantly hit it off, after having a few drinks we went to his car and started talking. Before we knew it he was kissing my neck and the next minute our hands were all over each other’s bodies. Well the rest is history.


We exchanged numbers afterwards and he told me he was married, I didn’t freak out because I wasn’t looking for any serious relationship with anyone else apart from Alex.


I have been sleeping with him for a while now, it’s nothing serious just s£x and I love the fact that I can talk to him about anything, he is a good listener and he is at my back and call when I need him.


I walk into the bathroom and after slipping off my robe and underwear I start up the shower and step in.


I step out of the bathroom a while later with a towel wrapped around my body.


I quickly get dressed in white short sleeved, lace back lace dress. As soon as I finish, there is a knock at the door.




‘You have a visitor,’ Maureen says




Slipping my feet into a pair of tropicals, I rush out of my room to the door. Ezra is standing at my door step.


‘Hey you,’ I smile.




I hold his hand we walk past Maureen and into my room.


Inside my room I place my arms around his neck and pull him close, kissing him deeply. He puts his arms around me and hungrily kisses me back.



In a swift move, he picks me up in his arms and places me on the bed before he locks the door. I love how he is always in control. He incites this burning desire in me that makes me forget my problems for a bit.


Shortly afterwards he starts undressing me and in just a few moments we are both nude.


‘You are always beautiful,’ he whispers in my ear.


Soon he is lying on top of me, caressing and kissing her then he runs his hands down my inner thighs and gently spreads my legs.






I am sitting by her grave trying to find the right words to tell her. I have been coming here every month since she died but today is different, I am here to say goodbye because I have made a decision to move on.


Janet died five years ago she was attacked and killed by unknown people one Friday night on her way to my place. Her death shattered my life, she was my first love and we had so many plans for the future.


For years I have blamed myself for her death, if she had stayed home that night she would still be alive.


What hurts the most is that we haven’t been able to find who killed her. I feel like I have failed her.


I open my mouth to speak but quickly close it. I don’t know where to start from.


‘She would have wanted you to move on,’ I hear a familiar voice from behind startled I turn to find her sister.




‘Hey,’ she smiles.


‘It’s been a while I didn’t know you came back.’


‘I came back two days ago and I decided to visit my baby sister today.’


‘What a coincidence.’




She places the flowers in her hands at the head of the grave then joins her hands with mine.


‘Let us pray.’


We bow slightly in prayer.


After the prayer she looks at me directly in the eyes, ‘my sister wants you to move on it’s been five years Alex. You should move on. She doesn’t blame you for her death, we don’t blame you either.’


I sigh, ‘It’s hard but I am now moving on, I found someone,’ I say


‘You did?’ she smiles




‘I would like to meet before I go back to the states.’




‘I am happy for you Alex and I am sure Janet is happy for you too.’


‘Thank you.’


She pulls me into her arms and engulfs me into a tight hug. I close my eyes and a breeze of air rushes past me.




Just as suddenly as it began, it was over. I can’t help myself as I moan and nearly scream as he lets me go. It’s been a while since I have been with any man, I feel relived and satisfied.


‘You are okay?’ he asks




He smiles


‘You never disappoint.’


He rolls out of the bed picks his clothes and quickly gets dressed.


I get up too and wrap a towel around my body. I reach for my purse and take out some money. I hand it to him.


‘Will that be enough for you?’


He counts the money and smiles, ‘More than enough.’




‘I better get going before the guys start calling me.’


I walk him out of the house to the front door. He leans in and kisses me before he walks out of the door.




A gambling Heart



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