November 20th, 2019. 7:45PM
Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel, is just an illusion.
I sit with my arms pressed hard on my knees, I can feel the tears burning as they threaten to fall but I don’t want to. I can’t allow myself to walk that road. How
could it be that just when one thinks everything is working in their good then something just has to come and mess everything up.
I look at a desolate Mulife sitting on the bed, his own share of tears tells me that he is going through the exact same pain that I am, maybe even worse.
It has been three months since I accepted to be Mulife’s wife, the wedding preparations have been going so well until this sudden change.
‘Where did I ever go wrong?’ he asks
I don’t say anything, I am beyond broken for him too but all hope is not lost. ‘We did everything right Thelma.’ He says
‘Baby I know we did.’ I respond
The letter from Olipa is laying on the floor, none of us want to look at it again. I have spent the entire night reading it, word by word. Letter by letter. Hoping that just maybe all this is a sick lie, I want to believe that Olipa is playing a sick joke and all this will come to an end in a moment.
‘Come here.’ Mulife says opening his arms
I reluctantly get up, everything in my soul tells me that Olivia belongs to me but my heart knows that her mother will always want her.
‘I just wanted to give her a life I never had.’ I say tears streaming down
He doesn’t respond, but kisses me on the forehead and makes me lay on his shoulder.
‘I am sorry you had to go through this. I am sorry it had to be you.’ He says planting another kiss on my forehead
‘So am I.’ I say allowing the tears that I had been holding back to fall
‘Hush now, I don’t want you getting sick.’
I try as much as possible to stop crying and eventually I do, I have a pounding headache so he gives me some paracetamol which I take then allow my mind to fall into a deep slumber on his bed.
MULIFE
I look at Thelma sleep, she looks so peaceful even with the dark circles around her eyes. I know she has fallen deeply in love with Olivia but also she is too good a person to take any legal actions. She had thought that Olipa had let everything go, but a part of me knew that something was cooking.
I know the kind of person that she is, she would never let go of this without a fight. Now I am conflicted between telling Thelma to take legal actions or asking Olipa to change and be a better mother for Olivia.
The ringing of my phone has me starring at it, I knew sooner or later she was going to call.
‘Olipa.’ I say one hand in my pocket
‘I was going to call you earlier but I needed to be far away I don’t respond.
‘How is Olivia?’
‘She is sleeping, but she asked about mummy Thelma.’
Her voice gets stuck in her throat, I know she is trying so hard not to break down. ‘You know you didn’t have to kidnap her right?’
‘I had no other alternative Mulife, she is mine.’ ‘Not legally.’ I say
‘I just need some days, weeks Mulife. Even if its months just to think straight, I need to make sure that I can survive this, that letting go of her will be okay without me going insane.’
I keep quiet, digesting every word she has said. For the first time in a while she shows me the real her, the Olipa she has been hiding from the world.
‘What happened to you?’ I manage to ask ‘I don’t think you were always like this.’
She chuckles before sniffing back tears
‘We could have made a great couple Mulife.’ She says instead I sigh heavily
‘Olipa any home built on different intentions rather than love will eventually come to its ruins.’
‘I loved you, I love you.’ She says strongly
‘I have never doubted you, but your love is toxic.’
‘All I ever wanted was for us to be together, you me and Olivia.’
‘Olivia is not mine Olipa, she has never been. You and Lackson decided to put her up for adoption not me. You are her biological parents and you decided her fate.
What Thelma did.’
‘Don’t you dare talk about that two faced bitch.’ She cuts me short
‘Mulife can’t you see it; she wants our life. She wants you, she wants Olivia. She wants your family on her side.’
‘That is not true and you know it.’
‘Why is she so stuck on my daughter, yes she might have adopted her but why can’t she have her own? Why can’t she let go of Olivia?’
‘Olipa Thelma never asked for your child, you put her up for adoption.’
‘Why her, why not another child? Why did it have to be mine? Can’t you see what she is doing? She is using Olivia as a pawn to get between us, between you and
Lackson.’
‘You don’t know what you are saying.’ I say shaking my head
‘Mulife I am many things and you might think that I am dumb but I know you, I know a part of you has thought of everything I am saying. A part of you has wondered why she adopted Olivia, a part of you is scared that once you try to
conceive you will get infected.’
Yes, I had thought about it but I was still doing my research and I wanted to be sure that we both would still be fine, me and her.
‘I know you and I know what is good for you, Mulife at times love is not enough. Olivia is your family so is she to me, just come home to us.’
‘Olipa.’
‘Come home, we will work this out.’ She says cutting the line
I turn around only to find Thelma looking at me, I know she has heard everything because I have the habit of putting my phone on speaker.
‘Thank you for the little time we spent together.’ She says putting the ring I had given her on the side table
‘Thelma.’
She smiles with tears in her eyes
‘Love is just not enough Mulife, go and get your family.’ She says getting out of bed
I watch her leave, I don’t know what to say to her. Or where to begin but I just watch wordless knowing I am about the biggest fool that exists for allowing Olipa to feed me with such.
Winnie