#28
“I continued to push as I saw that things were not working out, I continuously texted even when he didn’t respond. I slept at two in the morning and woke up two hours later to check my phone in hope that he had texted back. He said he would show up but never did, that he would call but nada. He left me on blue ticks, he was busy for me but had time for his friends. I did everything, bent when I had to, compromised, and continuously told him that I loved him in hopes that it would show him just how much I needed him. But all that didn’t change him, he didn’t work on us because he didn’t see a need to – he was just Emotionally Detached and by the time I learnt that; my walls had already come crumbling down on me.”
*
I nervously rubbed my hands as I was waiting to be called in the living room, I didn’t know what was happening but from the way everyone was seriously talking; I knew that it had to be big.
I caressed Xander’s face when he let out a soft mourn, he was four months old and the cliché love at first sight struck me when I first laid my eyes on him.
‘Hey little man.’ I said lifting him up when his eyes were open
He smiled, we had a very unique bond. He knew it immediately I walked into a room and he would giggle. His mother on the other hand had fallen deeply in love with him; she did every single day and that made me soften up to her even more. I heard the toilet flush, it was Raquel. She had been throwing up since morning, probably the nerves. She didn’t want to tell me what was happening but I kept assuring her that everything would be fine.
At the back of my mind they just wanted to discuss why Camilla had been staying with us and I already had a comeback for them.
She walked into the room and looked at me and Xander with a smile. She was wearing a burgundy flared dress with gold slippers to match the clothes Xander was wearing. I on the other hand had turquoise pants on with a white shirt that I folded on the sleeves.
We heard a knock at the door and I asked the person to come in; it was Stella. ‘They are ready to see you.’ She said looking worried
Carrying Xander against my chest, I held Raquel with one hand and walked to the living room with her.
There we were met by her father, her aunty, my parents and Stella with her husband.
I sat next to my father and Raquel sat with her aunty her face down.
I gave Xander to mum as he kept looking at her with a smile.
I noticed the tea and biscuits that had been served earlier were still untouched, whatever issue was being talked about must have been really big.
‘We won’t waste any more time here as the most important things have already been discussed.’ My father in-law who I was seeing for the second time since the wedding said
‘We are here to get our daughter and our grandson.’ Her aunty added I laughed.
‘Wait, you are not joking?’ I asked looking at her when she didn’t react to my laughter
I shifted my gaze to Raquel who was barely looking at me.
‘You can’t just come into my house and tell me that you want to get my wife and son.’ I blasted feeling hot
‘Son you have got to control your temper.’ Dad said
‘No father, this is my house and she is my wife. Her family just can’t come and claim her back like it is a joke or something. This is marriage, a life time commitment.’
Everyone was now quiet.
‘Our in laws, we have said our peace. We will be in the vehicle waiting for you.’ Her father said looking at Raquel
‘Thank you so much for everything.’ Mum said
They got up and I watched as the door closed behind them. ‘What the hell is happening here?’ I asked looking at Raquel ‘Language.’ Stella said
‘Shut up!’ I angrily responded scaring Xander who immediately started crying ‘We too will be outside.’ Mum said standing up with Xander
Dad followed her too and Stella did the same as well.
I watched as the door closed, it was like my life was shutting down with it.
I got up and paced about the house trying to make sense out of everything that had just happened.
‘Why are you doing this?’ I asked looking at Raquel
‘Stephen both you and I know that this can never work out. Your heart is not with me, it has never been with me.’
‘But there is a child involved Raquel.’
‘More reason why I am leaving because Xander won’t be the reason I tie myself to a loveless marriage.’ She responded facing me
‘Raquel a child is a big thing, we just can’t allow him to grow up with different parents.’ I said tears failing me
She moved closer and touched my face.
‘Don’t touch me.’ I said trying to move away but she didn’t stop
‘You need to open up to someone Stephen, you need to allow yourself to fall in love with someone.’ She said
‘I want this Raquel, I like what we have.’ I said almost begging She shook her head vigorously
‘No Stephen you don’t, you like that I gave you Xander. You like that I labored to give you a child. I don’t doubt that you love him but you don’t feel the same about me and I can’t continue doing this anymore. The sooner I get out, the better.’
I was really hurting, this is not what I had signed up for. I didn’t know if I loved Raquel or not but I sure wasn’t ready to let her go. ‘I can’t let you go Raquel.’
‘I was never yours in the first place.’ she responded
‘I have already signed the divorce papers, Marvin will bring them tomorrow and you can do likewise. We will have joined custody over Xander, I could never take him away from you.’ She said kissing my cheek lightly ‘Raquel.’
She turned to face me
‘But why? Why did you wait this long? Why didn’t you leave when you had the chance? Why now that I want to try and work things out?’
‘Because you had to learn to be soft, you had to see someone put up with you without reciprocating the heartaches, you had to learn love from a distance. Maybe, just maybe you will be able to love someone right someday.’
She walked to the bedroom and came back with her bags, Xander’s too. ‘Xander is yours too, you can see him at whatever time you feel like and please take care of yourself.’ She said before walking out
I stood by the veranda and watched as the two cars drove off, this was it. They were gone and all I had were memories of what was.
..
#EMOTIONALLY_DETACHED